Getting married again in the future change names of children

ARe you wanting your fiancee to adopt your kids? Or do you just want to change their names? Do you share custody with the children's father? If so, then he likely would have to agree to a name change. If you want your fiance to adopt, then you would have to get the kid's father to agree to terminate his rights, thus legally not be their father anymore, allowing your fiancee to become their legal father. If the kids are old enough (and this age probably varies by state) they could go to court and pay a fee and change their last name to pretty much anything they want, including your fiancee's last name. Good luck

You might want to consider how the kids feel about this (if they are old enough to say) or how they will feel in the future. Especially, if their bio-dad is still involved with them. If he is involved (paying child support, visiting, etc), then he would likely have to agree.

The father is somewhat involved in paying child support, meaning that he will when it goes through, but didnt want to do that so he has to because he doesnt give me enough money now just 100 a month for the two boys. They are only 2. and 4 yrs old and they dont spend much time with the father upon his choice. They spend more time with the grandmother than anything he has them for maybe 10hrs for one day, but doesnt really have an effort to getting them and spending time with them on a one on one basis. As far as how the kids will feel in the future I believe as long as they have a loving father figure in there life and a loving family they wont mind, because I think about how I was raised without a father in the home and he did nothing for me and I havent seen him sence I was three yrs old and have his last name and my mother ws already divorced by the time I could relize my whole name. And I did have two other sibling with diferent last name from me and It felt no different. So I dont think very honestly that it will matter in the chidrens eyes because my fiance is not at all trying to take the resposiblities or paternaty away from the father but sense he will be the primary step parent in their life we would like to have the family as a whole in that area. I just wanted to know if it would be a major legal thing or just the dealing with the father and his mother about it.

i also think about changing my kids last name, my actual boyfriend said he'd like them to have his name when we marry... their natural father never got involved, he saw them til they were 9 months now they're 5.. and he lives one block from here. .of course i live in a different country so the laws must be different, yet i'm not sure...:confused:

To the best of my knowledge, for you to have your children's names changed would constitute a step-parent adoption. You may want to talk to a local attorney, but I am almost sure dad's parental rights would have to be terminated. At the risk of sounding harsh, perhaps you need to think more about the humanistic side of a decision like that as opposed to the legalities. Your kids have a father...and one that you chose for them. From your post it is obvious that the paternal grandmother is very involved in their lives, also. Perhaps there is more to the story. Were you and the children abused by this man? Is he a threat to any of you? Have the courts deemed him so? If not, I would suggest you think deeply about WHY you would want to remove his name. In any case, you may want to consider waiting at least a couple years into the new marriage to proceed. After all, there is no guarantee how things will work out as a family. This man you are wanting to assume the role of daddy has only been in their life a very short time...evidenced by the ages of the children. Sorry if I sound negative, I am really not. I just feel like your statement, "Do I have to have the agreement with the father or can I just listion to my own heart and let them get over it?" is rather cavalier and dismissive of their paternal family. Let them "get over it???" How easy would that be for you if the tables were turned? Just a different perspective... ~Deb

When I divorced my children's father I took back my maiden name.... I had not considered the effects this might have on my kids.... They didn't really like my choice...they felt that it dishonored them.... When I got remarried I took my husbands name but never would have asked my children to even consider it unless both my husband and my children had wanted to make it an adoption. I think that especially for boys...keeping the name of ther father should be honored. Unless there is an adoption or a completely uninvolved father I think having the SAME kind of life as an average man is important.... Boys usually don't change thier last names....We females do without much thought in it.... I personally would only do something like this if my children asked me for it first.......