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Hello,I am new to the board. I have been reading all your postings, but only today had the courage to post one myself.I am very scared. We are putting our paper to adopt through LDSFS, I am just afraid of rejection. We have tried to have children for 7.5 years, but not good results. I am tired of treatments, but until now I was afraid to put the adoption paper and have the agency tell us we are not good enough.My husband and I are students. We are getting our elementary school teaching degree and untill then we will be renting, right now we live in a full equiped basemant with 2 bedrooms one bathroom, a family room etc. Do you think that might present a problem? with the home study?DH and I are working on the appartment doing some last repairs and decoration so it will look really nice, but still is a baseman. We don't make very much money, but we have very minimum debt.Any advices or comments?
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Personally, I would do the 4x6 photo's close up because that way it is easier to see you (up close and personal!!).
I did the collage in a scrapbooking style. Having dogs may be a very good thing. Our social worker said that many potential birthparents are dog/cat/pet lovers and that could be a very positive thing for them to see.
The best advice he gave us was to just be ourselves 100%, that way the match is true and good. Your baby will find you if you put yourself out there.
It was easier since I took his advice.
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I can do that... Be myself. My dogs are loving and very good, so I am glad they won't be a problem. I am so happy I found you. You are such a wonderful advisor. Thank you for helping a total stranger, though I think and feel the Lord led me to this forum and you, so I can put at rest my fears and prepare myself for that special spirit that has been waiting for me to get my act together. May the Lord bless you with a most special spirit to come to your home, and most important may it be very soon.I will keep asking you questions if that is OK.
Carito ~
Thank you for your kind words, everything happens for a reason huh??!! You are going to be just fine, your fears and apprehensions are very normal, I had them too, still do sometimes but we will both be okay!!
Ask me as many questions as you would like, I would be happy to help!!
Hi Daisha - I'm excited to see you're approved! Yay! We are too, and waiting for #3 for 6 months now.
Carito - I just wanted to let you know that the "portrait" of you and DH (and dogs, maybe?) doesn't have to be professionally done. With our first adoption we had a great snapshot of the two of us that we used, mostly because of the great emotion in the pic. It was just a snapshot but we had it blown up to an 8x10 and that was one side of our collage. The other side was sort of a scrapbook collage of us doing the things we love: camping, playing frisbee, fishing, roller-hocket etc and one with our two dogs. For our second adoption we again just used one of our favorite snapshots and had it blown up. This last time we did a collage on the computer and I like that way better. You can fit more pictures onto a page and still make it look nice after you print it out. We bordered ours with colorful paper and ribbon. Have fun doing it! The collage has always been one of the most fun parts of the homestudy for me!
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Carito -
You might want to call you agency to ask about whether or not the pages are front and back or separate. For all three of our collages we did it front and back, no problem. First two were with the Florida agency, the third with the Denver agency. It seems that it depends on the agency. You could always just do two separate pages though, and put them in a clear page protector back to back, but still be able to separate them if your agency requires that.
We did have one letter that went into a third page a bit, but that wasn't a big problem with our agencies either. It's hard to fit your life into two pages!!
**waving to Daisha!!**Carito - Just wanted to say Hello! I'm waiting with LDSFS also. Daisha has given you some great info :D (She's neato, eh??) Our letter is three pages. I did not do any of it front/back, but I did put them into protect sleeve covers so now they look like they are front/back. And I don't know what the 4x6 photos are for! We didn't have to do that. :eek: Anyway, good luck! :D :D OH! If you go to my profile on here (click my name) and follow the link to my homepage you can see our profile letter & collage. I looked at about 100 other people's profiles before I made mine. LOL I just wanted to see what they were supposed to look like! It was really overwhelming. Camille
Hi Camille,Thank you for your info. I would love to see your file, but I don't know how to get there. Should I go to LDSFS page and look for couples in Idaho?I, also have been looking at profiles on line, just to have an idea. The hard part is what to put in the letter, there is so much and so little space to show a profile of who you really are so the Bmother can see that you are the choice to her little angel.I have been following this forum for almost a year and just now I decided to join, but I can't tell you how relieve I feel to share my feras and ask for help. I thought I could never be understood on my sadness and emptiness not to have children of my own, I always felt that that was my porpose in life, now I see that children don't come to you only in a delibery room, angels come to us in many different ways, I shoul have known that since we are 6 siblings and three of them are adopted, yet I was so closed to the idea of a pregnancy I did not wanted to look into any other option. I always used my feras to put down adoption, but now with the help of my loving and understanding husband and all the members of this forum, I feel that I can do it and that finally I can put my act together and become a mommy just like anyone else.Thank you for your help and advice about the Bmothers letter.By the way, Daisha is wonderful, no questions about it. Carito.
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Hi Carito! I do have a profile at itsaboutlove.org, but that isn't the one I meant. I really like their website, but it has so many restrictions on size and fonts that I couldn't put our "real" letter in it. LOL We used italics vs. regular font to make our letter converstational and the family services website won't let you use italics. I asked them woman who take care of the website about it and she said of all those people that are on there I was the first to ask about italics. hehe - I guess it isn't in high demand! :D Click on my name at the top of my posts - choose view public profile (or something like that) - on the right (under contact info) you can click a link to my website :D **Daisha - I saw you down there :D
I have another quick question. How does the Tax Refund works for adoption with LDSFS? Will it refund all the amount, meaning the full fee of adoption, or will it refund only what is not covered by my health insurance. My insurance cover about $3500 out of the complete amount, which is almost all the adoption fee. I am just wondering how does the tax refund works for us.Thank you for your info. Carito.
If you have spent more than $10,360 (out of your own pocket), you get a credit for that much. When you do your taxes, or have them done, there is a place for entering all the info. For example, if your company donated $XX.00 and your insurance gave you $XX.00 then the program you use, or CPA, will have a spot for that and automatically take it out. But, if your like us, and spent well over the amount even with reimburesments, you'll get the whole $10,360.
Jen
Daisha
Carito ~ DH and I have been approved for only one month and I had a lot of the same fears that you now have. Don't worry though, you will not be rejected unless there is some serious problems in your past that show up (I don't get that from your post, so I think you are okay!!) Have you had your first sit down with your social worker yet?? I will give you a run down on what to expect! It is nice to know what is coming! 1 - you will have a sit down initial interview (very relaxed). He/She will just ask you some questions and basically get to know you a little and will go over the process with you. at this time, you will sign up for your adoption classes and pay your initial $1000.00. 2 - you will go through your classes. they are usually about 2 hours one night a week for about eight weeks. they are wonderful classes, so enjoy! 3 - you will finish your paper work packets and put your collage and birthparent letter together along with 20, 4x6 pictures of you and your DH. *the paper work consists of match sheets (descriptions of your DH and yourself and your families). financial breakdown, background check (if applicable), etc. you will also have to fill out a sheet specifying exactly what you will and will not consider in a child (this is a very hard one to fill out, but just pray about it and remember that what works for others may not work for you and your family). you will also fill out a 56 question questionaiir (you will get this while in your classes to start on). I know this is a lot but they break it up pretty well and make sure you are very informed). 4 - you will then schedule your homestudy where your social worker will come to your house and make sure it is safe for a baby! don't worry, they don't look in cabinets, under beds, in closets or anything like that. I worried about this, but it was very relaxed and comforting. 5 - you will then go to the office and have one more interview with your social worker and he will give you advise on your letter and collage (just suggestions, you don't have to change anything if you don't want to, but they give good advice). this interview with you and your DH is about 2.5 - 3 hours. he will interview you together and seperate. 6 - now everything will be sent to the approval board to look at. they will also give you advice on your letter and collage. we were approved in a week!! you now will have to get 20 color copies of your collage and birthparent letter and turn them into your agency. THAT IS IT, YOU ARE OFFICIALLY WAITING AND IT IS OUT OF YOUR HANDS!! I know that it seems overwhelming, but take it one step at a time, enjoy the process and keep a journal!! Let me know if you need any questions, it is stressful, but knowledge is power. ENJOY!! And congrats on getting to this point!
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congrats!!! Just a note regarding the profiles, your Case Worker is there to hold your hand thru all of this. The bmom of our 4 yr old daugter only read our names on the LDSFS website and knew in her heart we were the ones, THEN she looked at our profile. We were the 3rd family she had considered, but the others all never felt right. BTW she isn't even LDS. Average wait time in Utah (LDSFS) is 1 1/2 yrs. We finalize and get sealed in June!!! I can't believe how hard it is to be a stay at home mom!!! Reality is a little different than the fantasy you've built up in your mind. Especially after waiting SO LONG like we did.