When is it to soon to tell the other children.

My firstmom waited to tell my full blood brother about me until he was 14 and I guess he was extremely mad at her for keeping it from him. I surrendered my son 11 years ago, and I have two children I'm parenting, my daughter who is 4 and my son who is 14 months. My daughter has seen his picture and asked who he was and I told her in what I felt was an age appropriate manner. My son's aparents closed his adoption and he isn't even aware he's adopted so at this time there is no possibility of my children meeting him, having a relationship with him etc, but if/when that time comes at least it won't be a shock to them. I don't have any advice, other than she probably shouldn't wait much longer to say something. As an adoptee I can tell you it feels horrible to feel as if you were a "secret".

I was 16 when I was told about my older sister placed for adoption. In my opinion, that was too old. It sort of made me question everything my mom had told me - because having another child is sort of a BIG lie of omission. So my suggestion to your sister would be to sit down her children (together with her husband if possible, as I know I was concerned about what "my" dad thought about the "new" kid) and explain. Good luck! Jen

I think that it is important to tell the children as soon as possible since the daughter is already contacting her birth mom. I think to sit down as a family and discuss it is the best way. And answer all of their questions honestly. Barbara

My brothers birthmom parented 2 kids after she relinquished him...she and her husband told the kids when they were 8yrs and 10yrs old, respectively. They had them come into their bedroom and they sat down as a family and told the story...bmom told me she was suprised at how the kids took it "in stride". They were suprised but they adjusted quickly to the news and they stayed in open communication about it afterwards so the kids felt free to talk about the news.

Please tell ASAP!! Everything that I have read, heard etc. is people saying they wished they knew sooner. I have never heard anyone say "I only wish my parents waited until I was older to tell me." I think too the younger we find out about stuff the more normal it is. My bmom told my teen half siblings and the oldest is having the hardest time and the youngest is the coolest with me. She said to me that she can't believe that she lived 13 years without knowing that she had another sister!! 13 years is a lot of years.....to a 13 year old!

My children have known since they were old enough to ask about the girl in the picture. The girl in the picture being my first child. My kids thought at first that she just grew up and had moved on. I decided to tell them right then. I did not want them to think I expected them to grow up and never look back.My kids also have 9 step brothers/ sisters. They have been raised with open hearts. They want to meet her.