state we're living in or 'state of residence'??

Tough question for two reasons. 1. Only the Active Duty Servicemember can claim a Home of Record that's different from the state they're living in. This governs payment of payroll taxes and where individual state taxes are filed. They may also establish residency in another state - by getting a drivers' license, changing registration of vehicles, purchasing real estate, etc. Family members are not exempt, they are expected to establish residency wherever they live by doing similar things. If they work, payroll taxes are paid to the state income is earned in, and tax returns are filed there. 2. In almost every state, you'll need to abide by post-placement supervision. So even if you are legal residents of California but don't live there, supervision must take place in California or you must get permission through ICPC to do supervision (because the child is leaving the state while legally still a ward in need of supervision) in Kansas then transfer back to California for finalization. In the grand scheme of things, I would apply the KISS rule - Keep It Super Simple. ICPC is not awful, it may delay your leaving the state of birth by days or weeks. It can be stressful, but is not the worst thing in the world. If you can stay with family or friends in California, it might even be fun to have an extended visit with your newborn and extra hands to help. For us, DH's HOR was FL. Mine was and still is VA. We followed the 'rules' of Virginia and Texas, where our son was born. Even though we chose to finalize in Texas (a state that allows nonresidents to finalize), we still had to go through ICPC because post-placement was being done in VA. Does this help? Regina

We're originally from Kansas and are living in California. So does the supervision have to be done through the child's birth state, unless it's a interstate adoption? If we adopted in Kansas we *may* have family or friends to stay with until it's finalized, but with having two children already it would be hard. Shouldn't the post supervision be done where the child would be living?I could be completely wrong on this, but you're saying if we adopt through California, even if we're living in that state, then it would be an interstate adoption? You said: For us, DH's HOR was FL. Mine was and still is VA. We followed the 'rules' of Virginia and Texas, where our son was born. Even though we chose to finalize in Texas (a state that allows nonresidents to finalize), we still had to go through ICPC because post-placement was being done in VA. So were you living in Texas when you adopted your son? And used Virginia's rules because that's where one of you is from? You know, if David could just get transfered to McConnell this would all be a LOT easier lolSorry if I've mangled all this. I don't seem to be able to get more than a sentence or two down without being interrupted. We're trying to get everything ready for my dh to come home this weekend and for my friend to leave the next day. Add in a teething baby and two boys who're torn between being happy dh is coming home and sad that my friend is leaving.... Thanks for your time. I'm sure once everything has settled down around here I'll be able to reread your post and know exactly what you were talking about.Thanks again,moon_nstars

It's quite alright. This is complicated stuff. OK here's how it works: IF the child is born in a state other than the one you're legal residents of - i.e. live in - then the law follows the birth state up until time of voluntary termination of birth parents rights. From there, in MOST states, you apply to ICPC to transfer the adoption to your state of residence, where you then follow the law as written there, doing whatever post placement supervision is required. You finalize in the state you are a resident of. In most cases, there is no option otherwise: States only allow their residents to finalize an adoption following their rules. So if you are stationed in Kansas, and say the child is born in North Dakota, you follow North Dakota through termination of parental rights, then transfer to Kansas, where you follow through finalization. Now the twist: There are a few states, Texas is one, that allow both residents and non-residents to complete an adoption there. We live in Virginia, Ryan was born in Texas. We did the math, basically, since requirements are nearly identical. It was less expensive even with travel for us to finalize in Texas. So we transferred supervision through ICPC from Texas to Virginia. Once supervision was complete, we filed in Texas according to their laws. I talked with our adoption coordinator - Southeastern VA is a large miltiary area - about HOR and she said that has no bearing on residence for adoption proceedings. It's where you're living now that counts. Sorry if this is confusing. It's perfectly OK to ask more questions, as this is complicated! Teething, ugh. Regina