pregnant and unsure

you have to do what is right for you..and your family. What do you think your other kids would think if you surrenedered this one to adoption? I am not flaming you but it blows my mind how some pg women can think about surrnedering children that have sibs in the natural home or when the pg women surrenders more than one. IMO....keep the baby and make it work...if this is your 5th I am assuming that you are not a minor. You have 4 others at home...you already have the strength and you can do it. I am just blown away....and this post probably will get blown away too by the mods.

I give you 100% credit first off for being a mom of 5. I am a mom with 6. I agree that if you already are parenting 5, the 6th will fit right into the loop. You have already hit the hump when you went from 2 to 3. After the 3rd, I have always felt it didnt matter how many more children we have. You must weigh your decision not only for yourself, but keeping in mind your other children as well. Oddly, I have a dear friend who married, had 3 children with her husband who was a widower with 3 children himself. 3 +3 made 6. He died tragically in an auto accident(while she was pregnant with their 4th) She has been parenting 7 children now all under the age of 15 for 4 years. And doing an absolutely beautiful job. Sounds to me like you are a very strong independant woman and you can manage quite beautifully as well. :)

The above poster was right in one regard, you have to do what is right for you and your family. Only you know that is. I personally think that it is healthy that you are researching and looking into your options. Many birthparents place a child for adoption with other children in the home. I do not see it in the horrible light that was painted above. You know what it takes financially, physically, spiritually, and mentally to raise a child. Only you know if you can provide another child with the support that he/she will need. That being said, I really wanted to make the following point. I would not recommend rushing into a marriage with someone you have only been casually dating. Marriage is a huge, lifelong commitment and is not something to be taken lightly. I do wish you well and hope that find the right decision for you! Casey

Hi Sam, Oh my you have been through it this past year, haven't you? I can see that from your posts. My thoughts: First, talk with this baby's father about it. I can't advocate for marrying unless you feel this man is truly your life partner. It's tough enough without kids, in your case it'd be a 'ready made family'. I see also you considered placing your fourth child with your parents. Maybe revisit your reasons for not placing then and see if they still apply now? Or have things changed? HTH, sorry I can't offer much. Regina

Boston - I agree with all the others that you have to do what is right for you and your family. It is true that you know you have the capability to be a mom to this child - you have raised or are raising 4 others! How awesome! It seems you are looking at other parenting options. I know of a situation right now of a co-worker who is making an adoption plan. She is 41, has 3 other children (19, 14 and 4) and her husband has 2. They are in the midst of a nasty divorce and she found herself pregnant. She has a good job and could handle it financially, but doesn't want to parent again. She has chosen another co-worker and her husband who are childless and are giving them the chance to be parents - a very unselfish and loving act. It will be an open adoption and everyone is supportive and happy about the situation. Her two older children told her how proud they are of her, and her soon-to-be ex-husband and his family are supportive. So, if you are considering adoption, it can and does happen. But you really need to do some research and determine what is right for you and your situation. I hope you find the answer you are looking for and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

"It will all be OK in the end. If it's not OK, it's not the end." - My friend Amy I love that!!! 2 parent homes are not a guarentee..as in mroots posts...my daughters ap's divorced and not he is a dead beat dad!! I knew these people before I even became pg.....her mom is a single parent of 2 girls under 11 and has just joined the workforce. I have read you past posts and you have had a tough time..look to the future. I totally agree with not marring just because you are pg.....that will not give you the right answer.

[Edited to Remove Reputation Farming Post.] Posting about your reputation points is not permitted.

i'm in similar situation than bostonbaby. i'm 5-6 weeks pregnant by my boyfriend that i love truely and really think he's my life-partner. i have 2 kids from a previous relationship that was very painful and i raised them as a single mother. my actual boyfriend is younger than me and he feels he can't go with it yet we don't want an abortion again (we did it, too unfortunately...) we're thinking about an international adoption as we're living in brazil... it's so confusing...:( i was wondering if someone know something about international adoption. thank you a lot.ps: sorry if i have some english mistakes...