Please any advice would be helpfull

From my research you do not have a chance of the courts terminating his rights. He does still see the children and he does still pay support and those two things, either on has to be severed for a year before a judge is willing to terminate his parental rights, regardless of his motives. They will talk to him and he will not openly admit that to the the worker. So as far as that goes, that will not happen. That means the only thing that is going to work for you is his consent, unfotunately. So he will not sit down with you. I know what you are saying. Has your husband now and your ex had a heart to heart about the situation or is there someone else that he would be willing to rationalize with. The thing is, if he complains about the child support, after the adoption he will no longer have to pay that. that is it. Another thing if he is not that bad of a guy there can be an agreement for contact after adoption order to be made. The only thing that will really get him to consider the adoption is a lawyer and that can get pricey. Lawyers know how to work the situation so that every one gets what they want. And that still does not guarentee that he will sign the papers. I am sorry there is not know magic law I can pull out of the law books that says that his rights will be terminated, but all the laws are clear and I am not saying the adoption may not ever go through, yet I am saying that at this point it looks like you are going to have to get his consent some how some way. I hope things work out.

I would see if you can get him to agree. Do you really think that is the only reason he sees the children? If so then you have a jerk on your hands. But you also have a chance to apeal to his thrifty side. You can also look into getting a support order that the courts do not take out of his paycheck. When I asked the courts about this it was granted, but the next worker I spoke to lied to me and said they couldn't. But that is county by county. Point being if you have an order for a specific amount, you should still be able to give him the option to pay for it by himself. You then also have the chance of him not paying, but still building back support. And you will also be able to see what his real motives with the children are. I hope he does care about them more than that. Please keep in mind that I am not advocating removing children from a parent that really wants to see them. But if that is his motive, they deserve better than that. And keep heart that they still have your DH regardless of the leagal relationship. It is an active presence that makes the biggest impression.

There is no legal grounds for termination of parental rights. In your case it also looks as if the children have a relationship with their father. Is he just saying these things to you or is he saying them to the children or in front of the children? Do they want to see thier father? Do they enjoy thier time with him? If the kids have a relationship with thier father and he is upholding his legal responsibility you will not be able to pursue a stepparent adoption. And if he is good to the kids and not saying these things to or in front of them you cannot pursue other avenues of relief. Unfortunately your in a position where you are just going to have to put up with him. If he becomes emotionally or physically abusive with the kids then you have grounds to take him to court but, even then, unless its severe you will not have grounds to terminate parental rights. You may be able to have court ordered counseling or supervised visitation but that would probably be about it. If you had his consent you could pursue a stepparent adoption but, if the kids have anything resembling a decent relationship with thier father you may just be trading one problem for another. The kids would have abandonment issues to deal with and that can be a whole lot worse than dealing with a jerk ex.

Thank you for your concern of my children. I am sorry to say that he has screamed these things at the top of his lungs in front of the children and they never want to go visit with him. It just kills me that we have to deal with this. It just breaks my heart, but it looks like there is nothing more i can do. I dont think he will ever give consent. We have tried to speak with him about this and many other issues, like school, medical concerns and things of that nature, and his responce is always "if you are not responsible enough to care for them than you just need to give them to me." I learned that one of the children were having a really hard time with school and later learned he had a learning disability, i called him to come and discuss avenues on how we could help our child with me and the teacher and he refused to come said it was something I needed to take care of and that if the children were living with him they would never have any learning issues. Later we wanted to put him into special classes which would cost alot of money, so i called him to inform him of the decision and his responce was why does everything i do have to cost him money and refused to help pay any of the money for the classes. He said that he already pays his child support so if i wanted to do anything that money will jhave to be enough. **it makes me so frustrated, 372 a month for 2 children thats nothing, nothing at all**I feel my children are being cheated and in turn he is cheating himself and me too.

Have you thought of taking the children in to see a psychologist and then return to court with the psychologists recommendation on what your ex's visitation should be? If I was in your situation I would take my kids in to be evaluated and get them some therapy....it is possible that the psychologist may say this guy should not be alone with the children. If this is case I would file for modification of visitation and ask for supervised visits...I would also ask for sole legal and physical custody....and while I was at it I would request an increase in support citing my childs special educational needs. Make sure you have all that documented as well. He wants you to handle it all....you to be responsible for it all.....well then give him what he wants.

You can work your way into family court that will bring you closer to the adoption. For instance my ex can only have supervised visitation with my daughter. That costs him $100 a week to see her. the price got so burdensome that he no longer sees her. If he does that for 1 year you have grounds to file for adoption. But like Kallen said Document, document , document. That is the most important thing to do. When you have consistent documentation then you have a better chance in family law. Have you ever been to court for the visitation thing? When was the last time? The last time I was in court the judge ordered that this one family have a psychiatrist evaluate a child to see if there was a negative impact with a relationship. So you might also get that court ordered, if you get it court ordered then he may not be able to pay for it and he may not see them if there are stipulations. Also I think the age is 7 but not positive when the mediator will talk to the kids and get their opinion on having to see the parent. Now realize that family law and adoption are two differant entities, so dont expect them to actually severe the relationship. After all I have heard of family law giving crack addicts back their kids. So I would just start there. It may not be over, it just may take awhile. Also do not let family law know that that may be your ultimate goal, trust me I know from experience. They think you are doing everthing out of spite. So just act like you are concerned about the relationship between father and children. I hope this helps.