First Meeting with Attorney...any suggestions??

Okay, Did some review....correct me if I am wrong......you were not married when she was born......there is no DNA proof that she is his child. Now was she born in California? If so was it before or after 1/1/1997? Because in the State of California after 1/1/1997 he could not have amended the birth certificate without your knowledge. There would have had to have been a Declaration of Paternity signed and you both would have had to fill it out and file it with the Department of Vital Statistics along with a fee and a new certificate would have been issued and mailed out. He could also amend the certificate with a court order.....but still, you should have received a new copy in the mail. If he is not on that certificate..and has no proof of paternity...you may have just gained some ground on the adoption issue.

yes she was born here in California in August of 2001. No we were not married, and he was not on the birth certificate when she was born. He did get a court order to add him to the birth certificate and paternity was established in family court. No DNA tests were done to establish this. In the letter he wrote to me it stated that he had her new birth certificate but no one ever mailed me a copy. So I only have his word on that, I never checked on it myself. I do not use the name he changed hers to because I still have the first one and it was never changed on her social security card as far as I know because I used her old one on my taxes and it went through just fine. I'm sure he was probably supposed to mail me a copy but as long as I have her old one I don't really care to ever have her new one unless i need it for the adoption. I prefer to never use the name he and the judge decided to change it to. I agree with you that it is odd that no one ever sent me anything seeing that i am her mother and all. One would think they would have to notify the other parent. But I don't know how these things work. I'm going to be calling the clerk today and finding out what happened.

I would not worry about the allegations that much against him. If the allegations were true or the judge did side with him he would not be seeing his children and share joint custody of them. The judge would have ruled him unstable and given him full custody. So like you said it is only allegations. I would however make the social worker aware of it, just in case it comes out. I wouldnt worry about it though. As far as the birth certificate goes. I hope all works out. You would not have any problem with the name if you never changed the social security card. That does not mean that the birth certificate was not changed. Besides you probably can change it back anyways and if the adoption does go through you will change it also. You do need the legal name on the birth certificate for the adoption though. Because they will amend the old one. So at least get a copy.

Well its been 2 weeks since I sent my daughters bio father the letter asking him if he would be willing to terminate his rights. I have not heard anything from him. I would think that he would have at least wrote a nasty letter back to me. But alas I have gotten no response. I'm not really sure what to think. This could meen that he just threw it away and has no interest in writing and telling me that he refuses to do this. Or it could meen the letter never made it to him. I've been checking the mail diligently every day hoping he will do what is right for this little girl. But to no avail it looks as though he won't.

I just found out the reason why he has not responded. He was transfered out of Vacaville prison to Mule Creek State Prison. So he never even received it. What a total waist of two weeks.

So are you going to write him again or will they foward the letter or did you get it back. dont worry everything will work out . You know they will contact him when you do file the paper work also. Maybe he is not to be notified just yet. Hope all works out.

They said that eventually he would get the letter. So instead of waiting I resent it Certified mailing and put the consenting form and a self addressed stamped envelope in the letter. This way I will know if he got it whether or not he wants to respond. Does anyone know how I find out why he was sent to a high security prison after being at minimum security prison for a year? Maybe it will be a good enough excuse to start this. Maybe he got more time. How do I find out this information?

I would look for case information for the county he got arrested in. I do not know the address off hand but there is a statewide directory. most counties are free. You type his name in and it would show a hearing if something just recently happened. The other option is , all records are made public. I would go down to the local criminl courts and inquire there. they have more information then the computer. You may have to pay to get copies of it.

Thanks I'll do that! And I wish you all the luck with your adoption. I read your post all the time. So please keep us posted. Your in our prayers every night.

Once they are in the prison system the offenses they commit in there are not usually made public. Not unless it was something warranting investigation by the District Attorney like escape or a weapons charge.In that case it would be another felonious offense that they would have to prosecuted for and convicted of. That could end up on public record and then again it may not. Offenses they commit in there usually just end up in their prison file and there isn't readily available public access to that. The offense may just put them in solitary or Ad Seg for awhile. They can sometimes be given a few months more in there disciplinary time instead of being paroled on their next parole hearing date. That extra time usually will not exceed 18 mos. In inmate will be transferred from a minimum security prison to a maximum security prison if they have gone up in "points". Prison has a something called a points system, the lower the points the lower risk they are and the "lighter" the security prison they end up in. Inmates are categorized according to these points and placed in the corresponding facility. However, prisons usually have several levels. For instance Vacaville houses level 1-2-and 3 inmates. Mule Creek houses levels 1-3- and 4. Vacaville is also considered a medical facility and inmates housed there generally have some sort of ongoing medical condition. Some inmates are housed there on a temporary basis if they are detoxing or going thru rehab. They may have transferred him due to overcrowding or there may have been another inmate that fit the criteria for that facility and needed his bed more than he did. It is not unsusual for an inmate to be transferred up and down the state to a variety of facilities for a variety of reasons. Your ex may not have done anything at all, it just may have been an administrative move. He could very well be housed at the level 1 facility in Mule Creek. Believe it or not Folsom State Prison for all it's history as a brutal prison has beautiful level 1 facility. It really is pretty, honestly. They have a museum there that I have been to. Wild deer and turkeys wander around on grassy knolls on the prison grounds. There is a pretty view of Folsom Lake. If it wasn't for the gun towers and razor wire you'd swear that you were on the grounds of an old castle. Also if you just mailed him the consent forms directly he may not get them. That is considered legal mail and has to be sent to the legal department of the facility he is housed in. Besides that it has to be witessed properly and the legal department of the facility handles that. Sorry to say it but you may have to send it again. With certified mail the recipient is supposed to sign it and since he is an inmate .......well the postman may find it a bit difficult. However, you may get lucky because it is certified mail and someone in the prison mailroom may forward it to the legal department of the facility. Lets hope that happens.

let me clarify. If the inmate goes before the judge to order something it will show up on the public access website. Thanks Kallen for the info on Vacaville. My ex was at that prison for awhile at one point. So is it to say that he had to have some sort of medical condition to be in that prison to begin with?

That usually is the case for Vacaville. Charles Manson was housed there in the Psych ward for a long time. I believe they have now moved him for security reasons. If you look on the State of California website, [url]http://www.corr.ca.gov/InstitutionsDiv/INSTDIV/facilities/fac_prison_CMF.asp[/url] It actually lists the Vacaville Prison as (CMF) which stands for California Medical Facility. The medical condition can be as simple as drug withdrawl...but yes, they usually do have to have some sort of a medical condition, psychiatric or otherwise. And an appearance before the judge might lead to something on a publically accessable website or court file but that does not mean for certainty it will. Most of the time it just ends up in their prison file. That file would take a court order to access because there is a lot of confidential information in that file. An attorney could request that file be available for the court hearing. I don't know how easy it would be to get but I do know it is possible.

Well good news and bad news. The good news is the certified letter made it to the prison cause someone signed for it. The bad news is I don't know if it made it to him or not cause he has not responded. I would have thought I would have gotten a letter immediately. I did after all send him a self addressed stamped envelope so all he had to do was mail the consent form back. We are gonna wait a couple more weeks. But if we don't hear from him should we assume he just doesn't care to address the issue at all or that he doesn't consent or what????

If he doesn't respond to the letter in a timely manner then continue with the termination proceedings. He will be served with a copy of the notice in prison and if he doesn't respond to that then the termination will happen by default.

Well I found out today why he never responded to my letter asking if he would consent. He never recieved it. Apparently he has been out of prison since 4-04-05. I have not heard from him. I called the CDC to see if he had been moved and they said that he was paroled in April. I talked to his parole officer today and told her my dilemal. I told her that my husband would like to adopt the baby and if he would consent I would be willing to foregive his entire child support dept of over $10K. The parole officer said that she would be visiting him tomorrow and would let him know his options. Otherwise, isn't not paying support a possible parole violation? She of course could not tell me where he was living or give me any information. All of that information is privilaged apparently. She did say he is not working and that having a job is not a part of his parole. I thought that was just crazy that he did not have to have a job as terms of his parole. He was in prison for stealing someones money! Why wouldn't they make him work and make sure he has his own money to keep him from stealing others? Anyways, the point is HE IS OUT. And my husband is ready to proceed with the adoption. We are shooting for his permission first. And if that doesn't work we will go forward with terminating his rights since he will no longer have the advantage of an attorney appointed to him. Any advice on how I'm handling this would be great.