Please Help!!!

Hi, There are many people on this board who will share their journeys and advice. The thing to keep in mind is that this is your life and you must do what is best for you. As a parent of a 22 month old I understand the many challenges that lie ahead of you. As you begin to explore your options you may want to find out if Jon (the birthfather) is in support of you placing the baby in a good loving home via adoption. Without his consent it will be difficult to place a baby. Have you considered what type of adoption you might want? I am very big advocate of bmoms. If you decide that is the route that you would like to go I would like to help you establish a list of questions so that you can screen adoptive families and agencies. I am sure that by now you have heard how wonderful adoption can be. If you choose open adoption you can continue to have a relationship with your childs adoptive family. Granted with everything there are some risks and sometimes the adoptive families close the door however in most instances the adoptive family keeps their promises. We have a great relationship with our daughterҒs birth mom as a matter of fact I took our daughter to see her Bmom in Houston in January. H is a college student she is president of the National Honor Society, she has an internship with a Senator, works and does volunteer work. H has told us that open adoption has been the perfect solution for her because she can follow her dreams and still enjoy occasional visits with our daughter along with a monthly updates informing her of what Star is up to. We have a couple of different web sites so H can see what our daughter Star is up to any time day or night. Not all adoptive families will agree to do this but you can certainly ask. I am sure that right now your head is spinning. Take your time making your decision you have plenty of time to thinkthings through. THIS IS YOUR LIFE AND IT IS YOUR DECISION TO MAKE. I want you to know that I have no motive other than to help you gain as much information possible so that you can make the best decision possible for yourself. I want to be the soft spot that you might need to lean on as you make your decision. I want to be here to give you some support and help you so that you won't feel so alone. You are probably under alot of pressure and feeling like everyone around you wants something or wants to tell you what to do with your life. I am a neutral party with big ears and lots of hugs. If my daughter were in your situation I would want someone to reach out to her. Please take care and know that you are not alone. If you click on Big Dreamer then you can send me a private message. We can talk off line about anything that you want to talk about and I will send you my e-mail address so we can stay in touch. Kiss those sweet babies and tell them that a lady in Texas is thinking of them. Take care and lots of hugs, Maria

Hi Pink! I am a birthmother, I placed my son in october, 4 days after his birth. As far as adoption being the easy way out, there is nothing easy about the whole process. I have been going on an emotional rollercoaster since the day I decided to place. There are many decisions you have to make: what type of adoption do I want? (Closed, Semi-open, Open), What type of family do I want? Do I want this to be their first? Do I want to meet them first? etc. As you can see, you have to make many decisions as a parent before the adoption takes place. IT IS NOT EASY. But if you know deep down inside that it's what's best for your child, then that only makes it a little easier. To be honest with you, I feel the only person who really knows what's best for the child is you. As Maria pointed out, if you choose adoption, it doesn't have to be signed papers and then goodbye forever. Basically you run the show. If you just want pictures and letters you can do that, if you want visitations, you have that option as well. There are many agencies who do all types of adoption, with tons of families who are looking for the same type of adoption you are. If there are any local agencies in your area, I would strongly suggest going to a few of them and speaking with their adoption specialists/counselors. I wish you the best of luck, and if you need anything don't hesitate to pm me!! Take care- Jami

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