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I am currently 15 weeks pregnant. I have just ruled out the idea of abortion (my appointment was supposed to be today). My boyfriend of three years means absolutely everything to me. He has always known that he never wanted kids. Growing up, I always did, but I've gotten much less certain about it. Anyway, I knew I didn't right now. I'm 22 years old, not doing very well in college, and struggling with bills. Obviously, he very strongly wants the baby to be adopted. I keep finding myself going through my ultrasound pictures over and over again. I feel like adoption would leave me constantly wondering. But losing my boyfriend is the worst think I can imagine. I'm just absolutely lost on what to do and was hoping someone here might have some helpful advice.
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Thanks everyone for your comments. I've decided to keep the baby. I think it was basically a matter of admitting to myself and my boyfriend what I already knew. I find myself falling asleep at night with my hands on my belly feeling the baby move around. I've also been offered a crib, dresser, changing table, and clothes. My boyfriend's still upset, but he says he'll try. I'm just hoping that seeing the baby will do something to him.
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tnkrbll
Thanks everyone for your comments. I've decided to keep the baby. I think it was basically a matter of admitting to myself and my boyfriend what I already knew. I find myself falling asleep at night with my hands on my belly feeling the baby move around. I've also been offered a crib, dresser, changing table, and clothes. My boyfriend's still upset, but he says he'll try. I'm just hoping that seeing the baby will do something to him.
No, you're wrong about the worst thing being to lose your boyfriend! As wonderful and important as you feel your boyfriend is in your life, there is a good chance that will change. But there is NO changing the decision to place your baby for adoption once the papers have been signed. THAT would be the WORST thing that could happen in your life if you decided after the fact that you really wanted to keep your baby. If you make a decision to place your baby based upon someone else's pressure, you will regret it the rest of your life. Your baby will look to you to love him or her and to guide them lovingly to a point in life where they are prepared to live life to its fullest. You will always wonder if that happened for your son or daughter if you place your baby. It's a lifetime decision but one that does require some support from your family if you are not able to do it on your own. Talk it over with your family who will be there long after the boyfriend may be gone.
God Bless
do what you want to do not what you think you should do. i made the mistake of following what my then boyfriend wanted to do and we are no longer together. i am happy with my decision though i do still see my birthson and get to see him grow. FOLLOW YOUR HEART NOT YOUR MIND. your heart never lies!!!
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Tnkrbll, I saw a great book at the library, maybe if your library has it you can check it out for your boyfriend, it is called "Rookie Dad" and is a book about activities dads can do with their babies. There are lots of pictures of the fathers and babies together, and the activities are given sport names and the jargon is very sports-oriented. Also pretty much each page is independent of the others, so it is very readable.
Congratulations. You are already so bonded to your baby! Soon you will feel a love you have never felt before, one so strong you didn't even know it existed! You will be staring at your baby for hours and this will bring you peace. You wont believe how much/often you find yourself simply staring at the baby and just feel pure love.
Men are like that. It is normal. He is scared out of his mind. Even older dads with great jobs, financially secure and mature, inside are scared to death of becoming a parent. Hang in there, he will come around. As soon as he holds that baby, he will fall in love and probably pay more attention to the baby than to you!
God's blessings on you and your baby...
[font=Times New Roman]Hi. I was 21 when I became pregnant with my son. I was scared and confused also. My boyfriend and I split up and after a lot of thinking I decided to keep my son. It was very scary. I got a full time job and supported my son. It was very hard in the beginning. I had to give up a lot of my own wants. My son is now 6. (I can't believe how time flies!!!!!) I would never have changed anything. I am now married to a wonderful man. I never thought I could meet someone being a single mother, but it happened. Now, six years later I am very grateful that I had my son. Not only do I love him so much, but I have found out that I may not be able to have anymore children. I believe my son was a gift from God, even though I did not think that when I first found out I was pregnant. Everyone is different, and you really have to weigh all options in your situation. The one thing I would tell you is to not base your decision on trying to keep your boyfriend. If you do that there will be some point in your life that you will recent him or be angry at yourself. Good Luck with your decision. It will be hard, but there is a lot of support here on these forums. Maureen[/font]
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First I want to say congrats on your pregnancy and wonderful news that you decided against abortion. I am happy to hear that you are keeping your baby! Good luck and remember your baby is the most important thing bar none over any boyfriend. Any man that is worth his salt will stand by you through thick and thin!
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comments such as: There are so many hopeful adoptive couples out there who would love the opportunity to adopt a baby,but just be sure that is something you feel that is right ---take care and God Bless are irrelevant. Please look into your options and don't be pressured by anyone...not your boyfriend, family, or anyone else. I don't know what to tell you about the boyfriend thing. It is possible he will or will not be around. My friend was given that ultimatum of "adopt out the baby or we cannot be together." She dumped him within a week before the baby was born. Just remember that you are the mother and you decide. Good luck! Anything is possible.