Help...The more we learn, the more confused we are

Hi, Julie. We are also an AA family who have been hitting the same "walls" as you. Once we definitely decided to extend our family through adoption and began our search for agencies, we were slightly taken aback by the fees. Due to our income, some were closer to $20,000 and some attorneys charged close to $30,000. While there can be no price tag placed on what a child will add to our family, we felt that maybe there was some discrepancy between there being lots of AA babies to adopt due to the fact that CC infants were in higher "demand" and even shorter "supply". We chose a much smaller Christian nonprofit agency in DC but found that they are no longer excepting any new cases since they have had a long period of time without any pbmoms coming to them. SO we sit and wait. Our homestudy expires in July and they will simply renew the homestudy and we continue to wait. You didn't provide any details about considering a child older than 2 years of age or a sibling group of possibly 2 AA boys. Since there is a great need for AA families you may be able to take a chance and do foster to adopt in order to be placed with a child slightly older with a younger sibling. Not sure if that is a choice for you. Also, working through the State may give you the opportunity of being placed with a special needs infant (you decide on what you feel your family can handle). Some infants may have drug or alcohol exposure but may not have grave long term side effects if there are early internventions or babies born prematurely with or without major needs. I can certainly understand what you are going through. I have, at numerous times, tried to figure out what happened to the "stigma" that there are very few AA families willing to adopt and I think "well, here we are! HELLLLLOOOOOO!". With our four boys in private school and living in this area (VERY expensive), for us to come out of pocket with $20,000 is a lot for us and we do not live above our means. Hang in there and continue to research your options. Maybe you can research some alternative financing or ways to apply for grants or simply wait a year or two until you save the money. We decided to hang in there with our agency, due to their costs being low and pray that we are matched soon. I pray the same for you and welcome you to the journey! ;) (Sorry this was so long, didn't intend for it to be!)

Although you may have to wait for a bit, most states DFS departments would LOVE to have you on their waiting list for adoption. An adoption through the state is free, or near free. For example, we know of an aa family that just brought home a 5 month old baby girl from DFS. They were the only aa family waiting.

Hello, you should look for information about the Foster/Adoption Program of your county. They have a lot of AA cases with all ages including infants and the costs are minimal. Mildred&JohnAdopting from Guatemala

We have talked to our county about the Foster/Adoption program. We were told that every child that comes into their program did so by abuse or neglect. And in 99% of the cases the birth parents feel that they can continue to take care of their children. The process to remove that parents right takes 2 years in Maryland, even in the case of neglect. Since that's the case, the foster parent could have a child in their home for up to 2 years and still have the child placed back with the birth parents. In our county only 30% of children in foster care make it to the adoption stage and of that 30% only 1 out of 4 is below 3 years old. For us, the thought of having a child in our home for upto 2 years and then ave that child removed is unthinkable. That is why we stated in our original message that the two problem areas for us are cost and time. The cost is associated with private agencies and time is with public agencies (i.e. county foster/adoption programs). As kllee4 stated, AA families are here in the area and willing to adopt. The problem is that in our area, if you have between $13,000 and $20,000 you can adopt no problem. If you don't, you can go through the county and wait. Or try the foster/adopt program, but do so knowing that you can love a child for up to 2 years and then may have that child removed from your home.

Jensboys, Was the AA family in Montgomery County? We would love to know more their situation. Is it the foster/adopt program or was it an adoption?

Julia, From my info --- getting a child in the age range you anticipated will be a challenge...particularly in MD. MD is hesitant to terminate bp rights until children are 5yrs of age. You may find young children in your age bracket that are available for foster care, but they more than likely have older siblings, or are slated to be returned to bp. I was looking at the DC waiting children and there is a sibling group a boy and a girl ages 3 and 4....but all other children that are already availble for adoption are much older. I saw a 60minutes report on AA children being adopted out to Canada. If you are interested in perhaps taking a new born...yes the wait can be very short....ours was 10days from approval. We refinanced our home and thats how we came up with the money for an agency adoption. btw....im right up the street from you off clopper...I am now officially a stay at home mom. I would love to meet you if your interested in getting together.

Julia, Have you considered an agency outside of the state of MD? I'm not speaking from experience, since I'm just in the homestudy process, but I did find the same issues you had with respect to cost in MD. I'll be looking for an AA infant but more than likely going out of state to an agency where the cost is not as high. I'm not sure whether these out-of-town agencies place kids 6mos to 2yrs or not, but it might be worth a try. Jeanne

Thanks, we'll send you a PM

Have you explored to adopt from HAiti? IS one of the least expensive international adoptions. They teach English to the kids at the orphanage and you could see their pictures on [Edited To Remove the URL to a Photo Listing] Good luck, mildred&john adopting from Guatemala 3/7/05-Contract w/agency for HS 3/19/05- 1st meeting w/SW

We have thought about international adoptions, but we feel that there are so many children in the US that need a loving family.