Daughter doesn't know

There is the likelihood that your daughter will have to be told sometime during the adoption proceedings. I have noticed that this depends upon the social worker that does the report and the county that you live in. Some social workers insist on telling the child while others will conduct the necessary interviews without bringing that up. It many times depends upon if the bio parent that you are asking for termination of parental rights from contests or not. If the bio parent contests then it can make the adoption procedure that much more complicated and it may necessitate informing your child about their biological parent. I believe that the State that issued her birth certificate in the first place will reissue a new one but you may have to check with the county recorder on that. Give them a call they should know. Stepparent adoptions can be thwarted for a variety of reasons. If the child has been purposfully withheld from the opposing parent. Failure to prove that termination of parental right and adoption is in the best interest of the child. Failure to follow the proper notice procedures. There are a variety of reasons. But if you follow the law and correctly adhere to proper court procedures and you have a case....then generally the adoption will fall in your favor.

I had a similar situation. We chose to inform our daughter. However we kept the information age appropriate. My daughter is five as well. I got very well intentioned advise from many different people. In my opinion there is no way to really know what is best. For us it came down to that I knew that at some point she would find out. If we didn't tell her about it then we would just have to tell lie after lie. Such as when she wanted to know why Daddy was not in any of the pictures of her birth. If you would like to know how we told her feel free to contact me. The other thing we tried to take into consideration was how she would react when she found out. If she thought we had kept it from her then she would think we thought it was bad enough to lie about. A dirty secret. So instead we treated her adoption as a gift and a blessing. We celebrate it and talk about how lucky we all are to have eachother. We also talked alot about what makes a parent.... someone who takes care of you and helps you grow up. So that when she comes to a point where she can really comprehend what has happend she will know that her adoption was an act of love.

My daughter is nearing five and well my catch was the bf reappeared and was actually granted supervised visitation. He would insist he was my daughters daddy but we taught her that he was her father. and like ckiynnea did we also talked about what made a daddy vs. a father. We then explained to my daughter that when the adoption goes through daddy will be her father and her father would just be Doug. Now I have heard that she is really too young to comprehend the whole concept actually , but I feel safe in at least trying to explain it because she can never accuse me of hiding it or lieing to her. Sure when she gets older her decisions about her bf is all on her and I truly believe in being supportove if she ever wants to meet him. We never questioned informing her on the adoption. Actually my husband and I get an earfull about the adoption on a daily basis. I believe she saw the bfs true colors when she saw him and he abandoned her once again. We were informed that the birth certificate does come from the state in which you are born. I was told california actually takes longer than any other state to reissue the birth certificate, so lucky you, it may not take as long. I hope this helps and things go well for your case.

We used "Horton Hatches an Egg" as a story book for this.