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Hi my name is Chole, and I am 18. First of all let me start off by saying that I already know what adoption is like. I placed my daughter Taygan Grace up for adoption 5 years ago. I don't regret it one bit, and I don't look at it as giving her away. I look at it as giving her a life. It has turned out to be the best thing I have ever done, I have no doubt in my mind that I could have raised her, but it would not have been fair to her, because I see everything that she has, and I know with me she would not have had those things. Tay holds a special place in my heart. It is a open adoption. I visit them like 4or 5 times a year and they visit me 5 or 6 times a year. They send pictures and videos of her all the time. We talk on the internet sometimes. They let Tay call me on the phone all the time. They are like a family to me. And all I ever asked them to give Tay was a family and lots of love. They have gave her that and so much more.
Well anyway I doubt if anyone is going to want to read all of this. I am pregnant again. My boyfriend loves me. Eric is 23. He says that we should keep the baby and we will get married. My life is much better now than what it was like when I had Tay. I work at a dr office now and get paid pretty good. I have my own appartment (its not really big but it is nice). Yet I cant help from feeling that Tay's adoption went so great (although I miss her sometimes), maybe I should give this baby up for adoption as well. I look at how happy Taygan is and I keep thining can I provide a great home for this baby. I don't know anymore. I am due April 28th. So it is comming up soon, and I need to make my mind up. Well if anyone wants to talk to me, please post or pm me.
Chole
"Firstmom2tay"
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Hi Chole:Sounds like you have a good heart and a great head on your shoulders. We were in the same situation just on the other side of the fence. We wanted a 2nd child and could'nt have one. Tried fertility drugs (very expensive) adoption agencies, and finally found by pure chance came accross a post by an 18 year old girl that was looking for a good home for her baby. It was a miracle that was meant to be. Funny because I'm 100% Hispanic, my wife is 75%, our 15 year old 50% and our 5 year old is 25%. If there is anything we can answer from this side of the fence let me know. Sounds like the best option would have been (if you decide not to keep the baby) to place with Jen, Paul and Taygan. That not being an option I'm sure your heart will help you make the right decision. You remind me of the 18 year old girl we dealt with the 1st time around. Way beyond her years in maturity. Good Luck Chole! John aka Luckeeeme@aol.com
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Congratulations Chole and Eric on the new arrival of your beautiful son Carter. Chloe, I have to say, I am glad you finally made it to the hospital when you did, you had me stressing girl :D , but I loved being there for you as you prepared to go to the hospital. Your sister was so kind to share pics with me of you and your son and also your family.
I am so very happy for you Chole, and know this....you are a wonderful mother and will be to your son. You and Eric have been truly blessed.
Terri
Hi Chloe,
I can't offer you advice, but I can tell you a bit about how I came to my decision. I don't think anybody is qualified to tell you what to do, because in the end, you are the one that has to live with this decision every day for the rest of your life.
I am 19 years old, currently pregnant as well (due May 7th) with a little girl, and in a wondeful relationship with the father. Something happens when you accept that you are pregnant, I don't know if it was the hormones or just the idea of being responsible for another life that you made with another person, but that something made me feel like I would take on the world for her. I would give up anything to be with her and make sure she was happy. I had an okay job, but could easily have found better with my experience to make more money. I had a nice place that my boyfriend and I lived in together for a really great price, and I envisioned our lives together raising the little one, and it made me happier than I had ever been.
He, however, had different views on his and our future, which is a different story than yours. You are very lucky to have such a supportive guy. We ended up discussing adoption and I moved in with family to finish up my pregnancy and choose a family for the baby. The day I finally came to realize that adoption was the choice for me came just recently.
I was thinking about my childhood, and things that I wished for my baby. I realized that although I was willing to work harder than anything to give her the world, I had no guarantee that I would be able to be there for her when she needed me. I had no guarantee that I would be around to help her with her homework, because I would have to work to provide for her. I feel my mother wasn't there for me enough, not because she didn't love me, but because she was working so hard to give me opportunity. I refuse to take the risk of quality of life with my little girl- she deserves so much more than that.
So, I guess what I'm saying is, put yourself in your baby's shoes, think about what they deserve and if you can give it to them. Imagine both scenarios, placing the child for adoption and raising the child- be sure to imagine not just in a year, but in ten or twenty years.
Best of luck, it was the hardest decision I have ever made. As long as you can live with it, it's the right decision for you.
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Welcome Carter...
I have been trying to keep up with your post.
Did you decide to parent this little guy or did you find a family?
I was shocked to read that people wanted a full Caucasian baby during your first pregnancy what were those people thinking? Oh well...Tays family was meant for you....
We didn't have a preference we just wanted a healthy baby. I am Hispanic and my hubby is Greengo...Americano...and our Star is Hispanic/Caucasian. She is the joy in our hearts and we love her more than anyone can imagine!
Sometimes I wonder if people really want to be parents when they make comments about wanting a full Caucasian baby. Oh well...it was their loss, sounds like Tays family is a match made from Heaven.
I know that ours is....
Open Adoptions can be sooo awesome! I was glad to read that your relationship with Tays family is going so well.
We have a beautiful two year old little girl and have a great relationship with her bfamily.
Two weeks ago H and her family threw Star a birthday party in Houston. We live in San Antonio so we all see each other quite a bit. For us Open Adoption is a win-win for everyone involved.
If you have decided to parent hang on to your shorts your life will change in ways you never dreamed of.
On the 12th of April (my Birthday) Star rubbed my face then rubbed my hair then held my face in her hands and she said "Mom...you gorgeous". I cried tears of joy...I never even knew that had ever heard of that word much less knew how to use it. Out of the mouth of babes... :D
How are you feeling? Are you getting some support from family?
I am not sure what part of Texas you are in however if you are near San Antonio I will gladly give you some support regardless if you chose to parent or place. The journey can be difficult at times so if I can help just let me know...
Many blessings to you and your loved ones...
Well...it is 1:30 am, just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you...I hope that you are having pleasant dreams where ever you are.
Hugs to all,
Maria
Hi everyone, I just wanted to show everyone a little update. I decided to parent Carter. My life has changed in such a very short time, but I dont even want to think of my life without him. Me and Eric did get married, and we moved. I wanted to thank everyone here for all the great advice that you gave me. All of you gave me great advice. Thanks Chole Birthmommy to Taygan GraceMommy to Carter JaceWife to Eric
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firstmom2tay
Hi everyone, I just wanted to show everyone a little update. I decided to parent Carter. My life has changed in such a very short time, but I dont even want to think of my life without him. Me and Eric did get married, and we moved. I wanted to thank everyone here for all the great advice that you gave me. All of you gave me great advice. Thanks Chole Birthmommy to Taygan GraceMommy to Carter JaceWife to Eric
I'm Kim, 18 and pregnant as well. My boyfriend is 21 and although we're not in an optimal financial situation, I've found ways to make it work and I know that there are many things I can do to ensure my child gets all of the things she/he needs. I'm glad that you've had such a great experience with adoption, it can be a beautiful thing to give a family a child and I'm glad that your particular adoption went well. First of all...It sounds like you actually may want to keep this child. If it's in your mind that it could be good to keep this child and you're in a decent financial and emotional situation then you should. Possibly you feel that you still can't give all of the things that adoptive parents could but the majority of parents in the world aren't in a perfect financial situation...but they still find ways to provide all of the needs and love they can to their children. If you feel in your heart that you really can do this then you should...also, I don't know why you feel adoption would be a better choice for your child but you should find that reason...this should be a decision that both you and your boyfriend can be happy with so you should consider all options with him...my greatest advice is that if you really want to be the mother to this child...give yourself all of the credit and support you deserve to do so. Hope everything works out for you...
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