to my dad

[font=Arial Black] to my dad this is for you:now that iv found you i hope you will get to read this somday. i wrote this out of great love. Even thought i dont really know much about you yet. I am really anxious to meet you . heres my message to you. I wish i could of been there to read me stories and tuck me in bed at night. if only you were there to see the real anger i had inside. You could of been there to show me all the love and compassion that a lilltle girl would hope to feel inside. i wanted you to be my daddy and put me on your shoulders so that i could fly. Instead i grew up not knowing you. we would always remain a distance apart.. All the the lies and deceipt . Just to keep me hidden for no other reason than greed.. there are so many things that i wish you to know mostly that i love you, and hope we can start fresh buiding a new realtionship that i could use really bad. i grieved for you for so many years always looking out the window with so many tears. i want you to be apart of my life more than anything in this world. i could only imagine what it would be like to have a real dad. instead of a monster who plagued my world. he often batterd and abused me as he saw fit taken away my precious self confidence. he often tortured me with his words i wasnt his daughter but only a stupid kid. i wish you you could of been there just to see hoe evil this man was to me.i wish i could see you even for a brief moment , just to tell you how i feel. For now i have to wait. i know where your at know and you know who i am. god helped me to find you now its in your hands i know it may be hard and you may be in schock . but its been 23 years of hell for me so please dont give up. i realize that i dont know much about you or even what you are like, but i figure if you so choose we have all the time in the world to get to know each other the way a father and daughter could. well thats my message i am not a poet its just simply how i feel. my inner thougths im some form of rhyme. i wasnt adopted or anything but my mother never told my real dad about me for many years ahe didnt know who he was then had me believing some guy was my dad and that wa s a lie. i was pretty devisted because i wanted a dad, a role model , some one to cheer me on, it certanly wasn t that way growing up. my step monster was very abusve and a alcohlic. he saw me as a piece of trash to throw out to the curb. in many ways i am so much stronger today his mean words no longer linger in my head i have all the self confidence in the world , every time i think about him i push my self to be better in every way . i dont know much about my dad at all , he could very well be this way too, but i just dont know, i have recently found him and am hoping he wants to meet so we can talk, i have so many things to say. for now it will have to wait untill he calls me. has anyone ever fealt this way so strongly just wanting to know and be accepted. [/font]