Should the adoption be celebrated, discussed openly, mentioned but not often???

Tracy, It is so funny that you bring up reading stories. My parents read a book to me from the time I could comprehend its meaning. I cherish that book.We could have read it everynight if it was up to me. My parents had to watch it though because I would tell all the neighborhood kids that they weren't as lucky as I was because they got to pick me out special and that they weren't. It told me how special I was and that I was picked especially for them. My parents had to keep and eye on me because when was around 5 years old I started to tell my neighborhood freinds that I was specially picked and their parents just took what they got. Kinda mean I know but I was just so proud of that. The story and the illistrations were beautifull. It meant alot to me and the memories of siting in their laps while they read can not be replaced. It was the first among many postitive impressions of how adoption affected me. It started the cycle for a honest trustworthy and all loveing relationship between myself, my father, and mother. I also think that celebating the adoptees final adoption day is a wonderfull way of celebrating how special that day was for all of you, even extended family. What a great mother you will be. These ideas are really great and will make your child feel so loved. I am so happy to read these posts of adoptive parents so filled with love and concern of their childrens wellbeing. God bless you and your soon to be babys Andi

When I was growing up, my parents celebrated my birthday, and six weeks later we celebrated my " Adoption Day ". That is, the day they brought me home. The birthday was 'done up' like any other kids birthday. The adoption day was just about me, and us as a family. It always included a small cake, and a small gift or two. To this day (and I'm 33 years old) my dad and I send cards to each other for our Adoption Day. That is the day I feel closest to him.

lady rose that is awesome. what a wonderfull way to celebrate. I think every adoptee deserves to celebrate adoption day. It should just be said that every adoptee should have a birthday and official Adoption Day. I wish my Dad were alive and someone gave me the idea to send him the same kind of card. He would have been so touched. He loved me to pieces and I him. I know that not all adoptees have the same situation but they SHOULD.

I just want to say that we celebrate birthday and adoption day (the day we brought her home) we do a small cake and a couple of small gifts and tell the story about "the phone call" that changed everything. My daughter is 5 and really gets into the whole adpotion thing cause we share how special she is all the time and how thankful we are for her. Also we never forget to tell her how much her birth mother loved her and much courage it took to place her in our lives to care for. I hope you are blessed with a child soon and can have a great life.

I had always planned to celebrate our daughters "Gotcha Day", but now I am worried that our bio child will not have a special day for himself (Outside of his birthday, which our adopted daughter will have too) and will become resentful to his little sister. Any ideas on how to make our son feel special as well? Is it ok if they share the day? Also, I have read that adopted children look at their birthdays and adoption day as an abondonment day from the birthparents. Any ideas how to handle this if it comes up? Thanks!

Maybe instead of referring it to Gotcha Day you can call it Family Day, because that will be the day you officially became the family that you now are (does that make sense)? (Of course, then I guess if you adopted a 3rd child, you would change 'family day' to another date). I am not sure what I would do... I hadn't really thought about that yet. (gee, and I thought I had it all figured out :rolleyes: ). Princess Purr: I think your instincts are very good and you are going to do fine. I want our child to be proud of her adoption, but I don't want her to feel defined by it... I think you will feel your way around the right amount of adoption talk/celebration. Good luck, D.

i am adopted, and i've know all my life that i was. my parents have told me everything about what they went through to get me and i have always loved hearing about it. i even have and "adoption anniversary" for the day that my adoption was finalized and my parents got to take me home. it is sort of like a second birthday for me. i love the fact that i'm adopted. it makes me unique and i think anyone who is adopted should know they are so that they will know that they are wanted and loved.

I just wanted to add that I was adopted and it was something that was not openly discussed in my family and I wish it was. On occasion it would come up but was always awkward, my father has never discussed it with me. I have three siblings who aren't adopted and they never discuss it with me. If my parents wanted to talk about I remember being asked to go do soemthing else I walked in on several discussions about my adoption. I don't recommend doing this the last time someone in my family discussed my adoption was almost ten years ago I was 19 had a miscarraige and my mother brought up my birthmother because she was 19 when she had me. Anyway now I have kept so many secrets from my family because I have no idea how to bring it up..I have searched found both sides of my biological family and have contact with my stepbrother full brother and half sister. I also keep in contact with a cousin. My birthmother has passed on and my birthfather well he doesn't seem toh ave an interest. tonight I lied to my mother about a wedding....my stepbrother is getting married I told her it was an old friend that way if I go to the wedding she will never know whose it really is. I say be open about it I wish my family were I have so much guilt for the secrets and lies right now, but at the same time how do you bring it up when its always been a topic we dont' talk about.

Hey guys,I'm adopted and my parents have always talked about it and made it very open. But, about the day the adoption was finalized.... does everybody have one different from their birthday? My mom doesn't want me to look for my birthmom, and I have always been told that my birthday is March 18, 1985, could it be different? And what is a good way to ask my mom without hurting her feelings? I really want to find my birth family and I have NO information other than the adoption took place in Biloxi. They say they are not even sure of the name of the adoption agency. I wonder if they are just keeping it from me. Any advice?Thanks!Genie Alice Via

Awe, I don't think it matters much what you do as long as you want to and enjoy it. Big celebration. Adoption books. If you are emotionally worked up about the issue of adoption, your adopted kids'll probably get too worked up about it too. I'd treat it as a special thing along with lots of other special things. Follow your kids lead....in reading, celebrating, etc...just be open to answering questions and giving info appropriate to developmental stages.not that I know anything....my adaughter is only 17 months[url]www.adoptingemma.blogspot.com[/url]

Trophy Husband- I sent you a PM. Nona

I am sorry for your loss. As an OB nurse-I can understand the loss of your Veronica. As an adoptive mother-I cannot tell you how wondefull it is to be Brenna's mom. We experienced unexplained fertility. We were older when we met and married. We tried six months of Clomid and no pregnancy. My husband always wanted to adopt-I needed some time to grieve for the biological that would never be. Well, I decided that I wanted to be a mom-and that it did not matter that She was not genetically linked. So, we welcomed Brenna to our family in December 2003-she was born in South Korea. Yes-we are a blended family. I truly believe that no matter how many lifetimes you may go through-a mother knows her child. And I was meant to be Brenna's mom.

Being the mother of a Korean born daughter, we do not hide the fact of adoption-it is there. We take the opportunity to educate those with sincere questions and ask information on adoption. We happen to live in a diverse community where adoption,especially international is not unusual at all. :)

[font=Arial][font=Arial]I have always known I was adopted. [/font]My parents always made me feel special by celebrating my birthday (9/8/1967) and "Cindy Day" - the day I was adopted 10/16. Every 10/16 they would tell me the story about the day they got me and how excited they were. [font=Arial]My parents always told me they "chose" me. I laugh now, because as a child I envisioned them picking me from a set of shelves! The story was from original phone call to phone call to Grandma to give her the good news (and to receive an earfull of "advice"). I loved hearing the story every year.[/font]

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Thank you for your insight as an adopted person. We chose our daughter-she was the first referral. But I had always had the feeling that my daughter would be born in April. I told this to family and friends. On April 16, 2003 I had written in my journal that I just had the strongest feeling that my daughter woluld be born this month-and she was born three days later. I even saved the speeding ticket I got racing home to see her referral photos and bio. I guess that on some level, all mothers know their children.