ADHD/ADD I have not seen any signs!!??

Hi I am an adoptee and I wanted you to know about my kids and myself. My son at a very young age we suspected that he may have add. Not adhd. He was not hperactive. I was the one who caught it. If he had it he got it from me. I was not diagnosed untell i was a adult. In my years of growing up they didn't look at girls as much because girls were not as likely to have the hyperactivity that boys did. Anyways around second grade my son had a very verbally abusive teacher. I was constantly in the principles office complaining about him along with the rest of the classes parents. At the end of the school year my son was using some of the abuse the teacher had taught him at home. Calling names, telling his siblings to shutup, and when he got angry he would slam the door or punch or kick the wall. This was new as he had never done this before. So we took him to a specialist that saw children. We did not want the school to know anything about it because I have seen how the label is thrown on then and anything that happens(like your son with the little girl) is blown out of perportion and blamed on the disorder. If we have to treat him with meds at home in the morning and he was ok then it was not necc. for the school to know. Also his school work was never as and bs. But he did ok as long as the time after school was structured and diciplined. So when we had him tested he scored in the 96 % tile which meant that he scored in the gifted range. We always knew this because he was showing signs of this when he started talking at age 1. So waht the doctor told us was that he did score low on the attention part of the test. Although because of the high intelligence level we may not really know for sure if it was add untell school got more difficult around middle schoop. He said that the high intelligence was maybe overcompinsating for the add. Making it unclear if that was what it was.Almost covering it up. So we did not put him on meds even though at times I really didn't know if we had made the wrong decision in not doing so.. Well around the end of 5th grade just as the doctor had told us we started to see the sighns. Only in his school work. He has always been a loving well behaved child although we are some what strict and have always had him up untell 2nd grade in private school. I will explain my reasons in a minute.So it is possible to have a mild form of add. Just like any other desease. Being put in a stressfull enviroment when you have this disorder will bring out certain behaviors. Mostly stress caused. I think that removing him from the school is the best thing you can do. Let him start fresh where there are no preassumed ideas placed on him. Also find the best specialist in your city and get him evaluated. I would also watch for a few weeks in the summer how much changes without the meds. We have been lucky to only need the meds for a few months at a time. So haveing a mild form is a blessing. Don't worry to much it is hard to manage at times but if you educate yourself by reading everything you can get your hands on and keep them very organized he will most likely be fine. You will have to help him all along the way. My son doesn't like to take the meds and I worried that it was because of his pride. He saw the kids that had severe adhd and he would feel like he was one of them. When the teacher and the kids see this behavior the whole class knows and the parents know. It can be really hard for a child. I know it was for me so I can speak from experience. It was the hardest thing in the world being the kid that got rotten grades and had problems understanding what they were teaching. It distroyed my self confidence. So with my son the school didn't even know and if I told a teacher it was because I would feel her out first and see how she handled other children, or just the class as a whole. Not all teachers will be like the one your son has now. Some teachers have very good experience in teaching kids with add. I felt like I would know right away when I walked into a class that had walls covered in projects, and the teachers desk looked like a tornado hit it, she/he would be glowing with the love of what they do and the kids love them. They have very creative teaching styles. You can make sure to request the teacher of your choice the year before. Talk to other parents that you think may have similar children. We decided to place all four of our children in private school the class size was one of our biggest concerns and there weren't as many distractions. The kids that were behavior problems didn't last long. It is very structured and diciplined. Yet they had alot of those creative teachers I was talking about. And the education my kids have gotten has been awesome. We just recently moved to Co and We thought the schools might be better here so we tryed the public school system. It was a huge mistake for our son. Let me just put it this way he was no longer surounded by kids that had very high academic standards and not very high behavior standards. Yes there was alot of kids that did but ther was just as many sho didn't. It caused problems.My son has since been placed back in the environment he is comfortable in and the first thing he said was now I can get my work done in class because there isn't anyone bothering or interrupting me. He said everyone is queit and diong their work. Even his grades have gone back up and the school work is harder. I could tell you more but if you want to talk more we can PM each other. I am not saying that public school is horrible. I went to public school as did my husband. It is just that with a child that has any learning issues or adhd add a smaller enviroment is a better place. That is my opinion only I should have included that in my sentence. I am not looking to argue anything it again is only my opinion. My son is 14 and applying to get into a private high school it will be an honor to be excepted. We are so proud of him an feel like he has done exceptionally well. We really don't worry to much about him anymore. He is growing up to be a great kid. I am blessed he isn't as bad as I am. It would have been much harder. Sorry about such a long essay here. I don't usually respond because this is so contriversal and people are really sensitive and you don't want someone thinking you are giveing medical advice. Get the best specialist in town and read read read. Your son sounds alot like mine. And you sound like you love him to peices. That is what will help him the most Enjoy and really Pm me if you want. Sometimes I need anothers perpective. I do have 4 kids. So we can help and listen for each other. Excuse my spelling I didn' t have anyone when I was a kid to intervine in my education. I barely graduated from high school. Love and kisses to you and your son. Andi

ADHD exists on a continum; it is not like being pregnant, either your are or are not. So, your child may have a mild case of ADD...or, given a history of placements and early maltreatment, the child may, instead, have sensory-integration disorders...or other things. You might try giving your child some type of pill (like a vitamin) and telling the teacher that the child is back on meds and see if her opinion changes. Second, you should probably have the child evaluated by a mental health professional and an Occupational therapist who is SIPT certified. regards

I have had my share of school issues so I understand what you are saying about the teacher. But I will say that a child can behave differently at school, then they do at home. So while the teacher sounds like she is not handling things correctly, there is a good chance that your son may be acting differently in school, especially if he is sensing "bad vibes" from the teacher. I did not always see my daughter as acting like she had ADHD, but she does, and it shows up more while she is at school. If you are uncomfortable with what the school is saying, have your child evaluated independently. (Also try the vitamin, and telling the teacher he is back on meds, it could work)

I have a very similar problem with my eleven-year-old son, whom I adopted two years ago (he's lived with us for three years). He's absolutely no problem at home and is very popular and well liked. The issues all revolve around school, and it is SO frustrating. The kid cannot concentrate for five minutes. Three months ago, I started doing research about this and have begun having him tested for an assortment of things. Three weeks ago, I had him tested for LDs and he was diagnosed with an LD of written expression, and today I had him tested for allergies and he tested positive to fifteen different allergens and also was diagnosed with asthma. The allergist told me my son was sick everyday because he had allergies that covered all the seasons. I am beginning to wonder if they cover all the school grounds, as well. I am serious!

I have a friend whos son is ADHD. In his first years she always informed the teacher. He had a teacher that called home about every little thing, breaking a pencil, small things, etc. She pointed out everything that he did. So my friend quit telling the teachers, only the school psychologist knows. You dont have to tell the teachers as to avoid things like this happening. As for me, my son is ADHD also and I tell his teachers, being that she is with him more than me during the week, I needed to know when meds might be wearing off, etc. He has been blessed with having the same teacher for the last two years, and she has been a kind and understanding angel. I only hope that all his teachers are that understanding. It has been a long and trying road, but with meds and lots of praise he is finally settled out. I am very proud of his accomplishments and let him know everyday. Jennie