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[font=Verdana]It has been long time I havent visited the forum. I think it is time to share my experiences with others since, before my adoption process, they helped me. My son arrived just end of February 05e is 6 from Guatemala. Had happy family and 1 brother and 3 sisters. Unfortunately father left home, mum become prostitute and they have been all available for adoption. He had some traumatic separation from his mum. [/font][font=Verdana] [/font][font=Verdana]I had a lot of bad thought about how i will handle such child when i finalized everything. That is when it hits you, on the plane. There is no way back. However must start this write up that it is the best ever feeling and experience I have. Yes, older child comes with a baggage but also comes with consciousness. You donҒt need to wait till he is 6 to explain things, he is already 6 so just teach him his new life. [/font][font=Verdana] [/font][font=Verdana]At the beginning he cried a lot, doesnt want to eat anything except junk food, doesnҒt want to sleep let alone in his own room, doesnt want to brush his teeth, he hates everyone and worse part is he is hitting other children so you need to be around all the times. We had hard times at the beginning. He didnҒt know single word of English and I dont know Spanish, except some basic words. However in just 2,5 months things changed. [/font][font=Verdana] [/font][font=Verdana]Step by step he learned thing. To encourage him, I took him to a fun park in a mall next to my house. He loved it so much. I used this affection into a learning reward. So we developed our ғstar system. His basic tasks in a day is to be a good boy by eating his breakfast, lunch and dinner without any problem; brushing his teeth, be nice ԓamigo and not hit neighbors children, do home work, etc. However didnԒt introduced at once. First was eating food and it ended up actually with a checklist of 100 things. If he does so, he gets a start. At the beginning 2 starts a day, and every 4 star we go to fun park and buy 1 small gift. Once completed a motorbike for kids which works with a battery. Today (1st June) we bought his motorbike. I look back that and see how a small system relief a lot of fights we had, nerves breakdowns I experienced, language barriers he couldnt overcome and for sure integration to each other. [/font][font=Verdana] [/font][font=Verdana]Mohammed now speak basic English sentences, understandings %80, he is part of the family. Recently we went to a holistic therapist who speaks Spanish and she told him that he will stay with me forever. That was one of the worst experience after his arrival. He told her that he didnҒt know that he will stay with me permanently. Apparently his mum said to him that after few months he will go back. But with her help we overcame that as well. [/font][font=Verdana] [/font][font=Verdana]All with all, looking to my sister and neighbors, my child is more mature, lovable, understanding (single dad), mannered and learning fast. Dont fear from problems, donҒt fear from baggage, dont fear from older children. Hurt is temporary but love and trust is permanent. [/font] Hope this write up can help many of you to find encouragement.
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