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I just got an email from my agency that stated "NAC has recently been known to allow prospective adoptive parents only one hour in which to make a decision about whether or not to visit a particular child. If the parent(s) do not make a decision within that hour they have been known to tell the parent(s) that they are not ready to adopt and to return to their home country and not return for 6 months to Ukraine. I believe that you do not want for this to happen to you;
NAC has also been known recently to show prospective adoptive parents children outside the range of the child desired written in the home study. Please understand that this is not done with any malintent, but with their hopes of placing the most needy children with adoptive families. The age range you were recommended for is 0 - 5 years. I think it is likely that you will be shown 5 and 6 year old boys, and I would like you to be prepared for that possibility. You may also be shown children who have some special needs. It is within your right to ask to look at other children, but please know that there is the one hour time issue, and the potential that if you ask to look at more than one additional child it may be seen as "evidence" that you are not ready to adopt.
My question is how true is this, and how do you politely ask to see children within the age range requested and that do not have special needs without upsetting the people at the NAC?
Any help would be appreciated.
Thank you.
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It is true that most families recently have reported being allowed about 1 hour if they are looking through binders, but there have also been families who have looked longer.
Since you are requesting a younger healthy child, you may be presented with a few loose profiles to choose from, usually 2-5. If you don't wish to meet any of these children, simply have your translator ask to look at binders. If your hour is up and you haven't found a child you wish to meet, ask to return to look at more profiles. I know of families who have returned as many as 3 times to look through binders and newly available profiles before accepting a referral to meet a child. It is MUCH better to take your time finding a referral than accept a referral that you know there is little chance of you adopting. If you accept a referral for a child and there are not good reasons for declining (unavailable, medical profile inaccurate, ill, inaccurate information, indications of medical conditions not on profile---possible RAD/ARND) it is definitely expected that you will accept the child and most families do.
The key to success with the NAC is polite persistence and flexability. If the NAC feels you are only interested in "perfect" children, they will likely have much less patience with you.
As for requesting to see profiles only of children that are within your age group requested and not special needs, you can request it but most institutionalized children will have some special needs, usually at minimum institutional-related delays.
If it is absolutely vital to you that the child you adopt be 0-5yo and with no special needs, Ukraine may not be the best choice of country to be adopting from. You could well be setting yourselves up for heartbreak and returning empty-handed. Families with inflexible criteria and a short timelimit out of the US tend to do better in countries that offer pre-travel referrals.
If you are polite, show interest in ALL the children's profiles, (just because you are not choosing to adopt special needs children, doesn't mean you can't say something along the lines of "what an adorable child, it is so sad that his/her needs are beyond what we are prepared for."), and are prepared to stay in Ukraine as long as necessary (a few have been as long as 10-12 weeks), you should be able to find your child.
An important question to your agency after the email would be what happens if it takes 3 NAC visits to find your first referral, which you turn down (unavailable or ill), another 2 visits to find your next referral, which you also turn down (again unavailable or ill), and then you want another NAC visit to try again to find your child? At this point you may well have been in Ukraine for 3-4 weeks and still haven't started your adoption (easily another 2-3 weeks or more). Will they support you on your quest for your child no matter how long it takes? Do they have a time limit when the facilitator (not the NAC) will tell you to return home? What is their refund policy if you return home without a child?
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