Door open but no schedule

I don't really even know what my question is, perhaps just looking for people thoughts on our situation with our son's bmom. Because I find I'm confused. We were matched with bmom just days before birth, but then tpr took over 2 mos and during that time we had frequent contact with her, mostly me. Bmom & I spoke a couple times a week and there were 2 visits with our son and bmom & her other children. We let her know MANY times that our hearts and door are open to she and her children. We let her know future visits were fine with us if that is what she wanted. We told her that we were also respectful of the fact that our son has 5 other siblings and we didn't want them to feel shut out from his life (if that is what she wanted). In all the times we said this to her her responses were things like: "that is so wonderful of you"... "I really appreciate that". But never any specific requests of us. (We do have a standard agency agreement for pics/ltrs). We know where each other live. I've been in her home. I send pics/lts directly to her home. AND I've sent an ocassional card now and then to let her know we are thinking of her. TPR is finally over, and we had 2 phone calls shortly after that. That was @ 3 wks ago. Since then nothing, except that 2 days ago I mailed off his 3 mo pictures. At the end of the letter, as before, I let her know we were open to she and her children. Bmom has never wanted to admit how hard this is for her. She says, "it would be selfish of me to be sad, placing him is a joyous thing". From this we feel she still has a lot to work through. (She was matched with a counselor that reached out to her alot, but she rejected most of it). But she & I got pretty close. Her life with she and her 5 other children is VERY VERY complicated. Lots & lots of problems. I'll be honest, we have mixed feelings about how much we wanted her in our life. Only because her life is such a mess, and she surrounds herself with some pretty unstable people. But we were determined that for the sake of our son, and our commitment to bmom that we will stand by our word. But it feels like she is closing the door. It would help so much if she could just express what she does/doesn't want. BUT from what we've seen she has lots of problems knowing what she needs to make herself happy. AND even more problems expressing herself. She appears to handle lots of issues by avoidance. So we are wondering if she doesn't want contact but can't come right out and say it. If this is how she feels I don't want to push her either. For example: TPR for bmom was @ 2 mos after everyone else TPR'd, but bmom had to go to court to do hers. Despite 2 mos of reassuring us how commited she was to this, she didn't show for her first 2 court dates. All the while calling me apologizing and reaffirming, "I really want to do this. I think of J as YOUR son. I didn't think I would have such a problem actually doing this step". Finally, 3rd time was the charm and she showed up and confidently terminated her rights. (I gave her a ride to court and she wanted me in the court room for support!) Has anyone else went through this? Have we done enough and now we just need to let her make the next move?