17 and pregnant

You posted... I just want to let you know that there are many resources out there to help you if you choose to parent. There are special scholarships and grants available to you for college. The choice is yours and I just want to share with you that being poor can be temporary and that your circumstances will change. To parent will take much effort on your part to finish HS and then go to college but you can do it. There are resources in your area to help. I experienced relinquishing and child and wish that someone had told me that when I was pregnant... I was in a similar situation and when I went to seek guidance, no one shared the option of parenting with me. Whatever you do... just explore parenting and adoption to make the most informed decision possible. I was in adoption counseling, and was about 7 months along and I was firm on adoption as a choice. I was working in an office and a woman who I did not know came in and somehow we were talking about my baby and I shared that I was going to give my baby up for adoption. She shared that she relinquished a child when she was young and that she regretted it terribly and that she was in so much pain for making that choice. I didn't listen at all, and just thought that the nice people who were helping me were heading me in the right direction. How I wish I would have stopped and listened to that lady. How I wish now that I would have asked her if she would talk about that with me. Instead I brushed her off with "that won't happen to me!" Little did I know then that I was looking into the mirror of myself at a future time. I can't say that I would have parented if I had listened to her, but I can say that I would have had the most complete information if I had. Just something to consider. If your aunts and grandparents are excited, are they willing to help? Adoption is definitely an option, and whatever you choose will be right for you and your baby. Just know that there is no one better to parent your child than you and obstacles can be overcome. I wish you peace in your Journey and all good things to you and your baby! Kim

Hi Felicia, It sounds like you have given this a lot of thought you are early enough in your pregnancy that you can do some research before you make your final decision. Once you make the decision to parent or place the baby for adoption then find a friend or a family member who will support your decision. Often enough our families try to talk us into making choices that may not be what we want. Ultimately it IS your choice once you know which path you are choosing let people know that YOUR decision is NOT up for debate and stand firm. If they want to debate your decision then just say Thanks for your opinion but I am doing what is BEST FOR ME and MY BABYӔ. Family pressure can be hard at times but you have a voice and you have every right to decide which path YOU want. I do want to add that many people have been successful as single parents. There are a lot of resources available if this is the path that you choose. Though the absence of a father can be painful and difficult at times many mothers are able to nurture their children in great loving environments. I was sorry to read about the loss of your father. There are many different types of Adoption. Many women choose to have some type of Open Adoption so that they can stay in touch with their child and his/her family. I think one of the things that scares families is that when they hear adoption they think they will never see the baby again. Dont get me wrong sometimes that does happen but in most cases adoptive families keep their promises. Our daughter sees her birth family several times a year. That includes grandparents, aunts, uncles etc. this past year they gave Star a birthday party all we had to do was show up. It all depends on the type of relationship that you have with the adoptive family and the amount of openness that you want. YOU are your childs mom until you sign the paperwork so YOU can decide how many visits you want etc. Keep in mind that once you terminate your rights the adoptive family will make all decisions regarding your child. This site is a great place to gain strength and confidence about your decision there are many people who have been in your shoes. I am here to give you as much support as you need. Trust your instincts...you know what is best for you and your baby! Hugs to you, Maria

I hope you make the right choice for you and your baby and I'm so glad you're giving your baby life! You are a good person! Wish you the best. Amber