a little O/T

I too am a single mother of many.Today in walmart check out guy said oh yeah--you're the lady withall the kids. I guess if you have a man in your life he's going to have to like kids. I answered--well, I don't think that's going to happen. He reflected a bit then agreed.No--I don't think so. HAH!!All I can say is send me your rejects!

Like I've always said.......Finding a guy who I like, who likes me, who likes kids, that won't be his blood-wise, that are special needs, and are black, and........Well, you get the picture! My mother (and the rest of the family for that matter) keeps bugging me to go out on a date.....but as I've told her, it's not as if there's a line at the door. Let alone even a knock!!! I'm not happy about it, but am somewhat resigned to the fact that it'll just be me and the boys for a long time. Unfortunately, the boys are DESPERATE for a dad and are unrelenting in whining for me to find them one!!! Sandy

I can say it is just as hard on my side. It has been my luck to find the ones that have 4-6 children of their own. :eek: Or I find the ones that ask "how many kids?"...then say they have to go to the bathroom and don't come back! :D My boys have made a pact with the devil (my mother, I'm kidding!) to get me married! :rolleyes: I just finished paying off the last one! It took me 7 years to do that!

Great to have such good company. There are the single parent online things. Haven't even considered it, but I did run across them on the internet once. If you are up for that challenge - it might be a vehicle to meet someone. Remember dating doesn't require marriage. :p I know several success stories from the internet thing. They are always pushing me, but no go yet.

Well, I've never been married. I was engaged once, and that went very, very bad. It took me years before I could try again. Short Story: I believe in waiting (please no flames) until marriage. So, I would hold her hand, massage every part of her (except the really 'good' ones), and do other stuff women have told me was sweet. So, after being engaged one week, she ran off with a man who had diddled his twin baby sisters (got the man's history from DFACS). She wanted some lovin' now. Later found out she'd been playing around on me a lot...after she'd agreed we'd be monogamous. So, after that, I've not tried too hard. My self-confidence in the ability to pick a woman fell apart. I've been out a couple of times, but nothing doing. I would gladly help a woman with her kids, if she was the right woman. My 'fiancee' was one month pregnant when we started going out. You people who are searching for someone who'll take you and your children, keep looking, he/she's out there. It took me a long time to get back to the main topic, sorry. David

Dating? What's that? I've pretty much given up on the idea, at least for now. Even if there were guys lining up at my door (there aren't!) I wonder when on earth I'd have the time?! Mostly I'm ok with this, though there are some times of lonely sighs. Maybe when C is off to college (or whatever) in 4 years, I'll check out Parents without Partners and see if there are any Old Geezers there!! ;)

Everyone must be reading my mind too these days! What is going on, it's not like it is Spring or anything. I haven't dated since I became a Mom 5 years ago. As a matter of fact the last guy I dated was the summer before the girls were placed with me. It really hasn't bothered me, I guess I have been too busy and we also relocated last year from the North East to Florida. With the work I do, (I am a Mobil Notary, mostly for loan closings) I work from home too and then go out and meet with borrowers to sign loan papers. I did meet a borrower a few months ago that I was attracted to but I thought he was married. I just did another loan with him and found out he is separated (reason for refinancing to payoff each other) He lives in Florida she lives in the North East. He knows I have kids but doesn't know if I am married or not. I have been wondering if I should contact him? There seemed to be a real connection between us and he is really easy to talk to and is very nice. He has 3 teenage daughters and mine are 5 and 7 so he might not want that either but I am also not looking for marriage but mostly companionship and if it led to something else than that would be a pleasant surprise. My girls do wish they had a Daddy and my oldest one time asked why I am not married and I told her I haven't met anyone I would want to marry and she said then I will just have to search the city until I find you a husband! Kids can be so cute...... When I have told others about the guy I met most are telling me to run and not look back because he is not divorced yet but if there is any chance of them getting back together or if they are trying to reconcile I would never get involved. It is just so rare for me to find a guy that I am attracted to and that I have an interest in getting to know better so maybe my judgement is clouded and I am not thinking this through clearly...

I never would have guessed it would happen... but I am dating!!! My daughter who has been home 9 months loves the guy but still feels obligated to make us miserable every minute we are together. She was a bit confused by the issue at first, than really jealous, now, about 5 months later she is getting into the idea of mommy having a boyfriend. B. has been great with her, and really keeps it cool when I am about to blow a gasket with her and the jealousy. Things that didn't work -- waiting for her to be ready. Things that worked: -Telling her to get over it - Mommy's have the right to date, and she will just have to get used to it - if you are going to pout, tantrum, scream about - you can do it in your room, alone. - reassurance - every day- that she is the first and foremost important person in my life - Getting time out alone with him - Having group time together on a scheduled basis I think the best thing for her accepting the situation was the scheduled date - every Friday he comes for dinner and we just hang out at home. He has special things to do with her while I sit on the sidelines and drink some wine (something I never get to do anymore -its such a treat). They catch butterflies or fireflies, flip on the swings, play on the computer. I have stepped away from all those fun things so if she wants to do it, she has to wait for him. Now I was never one to schedule anything, but this works for our family situation and she can handle it this way. I keep waiting for this to come crashing down - I can't be that lucky to find a man that loves me, my daughter, has a good job, and takes out the garbage! The day he did that I knew he was a keeper. The other thing I did was lay down the law after the first dinner - can he accept this, that, etc. It was great to clear the air and set solid expectations in regards to involving her. I have to say its nice to have someone to cart her around on their shoulders at the boardwalk and amusement parks, entertain her while I can get back to enjoying cooking, open the wine, catch the bugs etc. Than all the pluses of adult company!

well it looks like I may be "dating" too!! I have been asked to dinner by someone. He seems really nice and knows about the kids so we will see how it goes. I feel like I'm in high school again!! It will be so weird to get through an entire dinner without a tantrum or spilled food, I don't know how I'll react lol. I guess I shouldn't order anything with a red sauce!