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I did have quite the ordeal with CHS. I gave birth to a son in April 04 who had a congenital birth defect (ear malformed). When we went to Shands to discuss options, they asked for medical info, which clearly I did not have, and to be honest had not really looked. I started the paperwork and it was 3 months before they even opened the case. They called me at noon on my b-day and told me they were contacting my bmom. By 2:00 they had called back and said they had spoken with her and she was totally open to a reunion, which we now have had. Once we met, it seems every bit of information which was given to my parents (non-id) was completely inaccurate all the way down to my bmom's age when she had me. If I had searched for her based on their info, I would have never found her. All is well that ends well, we have a wonderful relationship and are super close - my adoptive mom died when I was 13, and I guess we needed each other desperately!! But, what we had to go through to get there was unbelieveable.
I worked with CHS searching on my husbands behalf for medical information and hoping for contact. We worked with them for a year, I was until I read your post resigned to the information they provided but was skeptical about numerous things. My biggest concern was for that year , we were told the b mom had been contact twice and she denied being such,the case workers [Edited To Remove a Identifying information for confidentiality purposes.]told us they would not call her back a third time. To which we said we were prepared financially and emotional to take them to the highest court that would hear my husbands case, we had no doubt we had and have "good and just cause" we have lost one son to a heart defect and have another child who is ill with a non-life threatening disease and needed the updated medical desperately, I found and still find it very odd and convienent that within 24 hours of threatening court action that all of a sudden the b mom admits to being such and we have the medical information that they could not get for an entire year prior , it really makes me wonder if they did not just make up the medical , especially since the b mom who is 69 years old has never had anything medically go wrong , I mean 69 and completely 100 percent healthy??? Does this sound odd to anyone else? By the way the b mom had six other children all of whom have had no medical issues either, this must be the healthest family in Florida ....all between 31-38 years of age ( if the info is correct) she had them after my husband she waited ten years to have the first of those six , then had them back to back, a few of those six she herself adopted.. things just don't add up.... there were some descrepencies (sp?) between the original non-id from 1958 and the one from 2004 which also made me wonder how much of the truth we were really getting.So my faith and believe in CHS is about ZERO. They have no checks and balances,no one to report to, no accountability.... I think and feel it is way past time for a change. The fact that ANY human has to go through any searching to find biological relatives is appauling to me.When will we wake up in this wonderful country of ours called the United States, we have six or seven states were adoptees no longer have go through this , isn't it about time the other 43 states caught up, we are all Americans whether we live in New Hampshire , or Florida, are we not? ( and for those not from the USA I hope your countries revise whatever laws are keeping you from finding your families)! Okay off my soap box for now..
Good luck to all searching.....
Best
Shade :)
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CHS is awful. I have no idea when my real birthdate is, or even if I was actually born in Florida. They totally make things up. Now I'll never find my BM!
Hi Figgypudding
Curious about what info CHS made up and how you know it is made up.We had problems with them as well ,and still are not sure we were given correct info,, we can go private with your reply if you wish.. but I am very interested in hearing what you have been through..
Best
shade
I am in need of the Catholic Charities that would have handled Adoption in Amsterdam, NY in 1958-59 And in Schenectady NY in 1960. Does anyone have the addresses for these, they would be greatly appreciated.:)
I too have had questions about the info i was given from CHS. Nothing in the searches i have had done, or tried to do myself match up.. either the dates are off or the sublings dont match up.
Now they have intermediary services that because of the new laws they offer..for about$300. I have to pay to find out what is rightfully my information to have? still isnt right, but i tried. and 3 months later, no contact, and when you ask them about how its going for the people they ARE searching for , they wont give any answers. Its beyond frustrating.
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I got a "heritage summary" back in 95, and am currently waiting on any updates. I have a lead, but a FEW things don't match up- such as the ages of my birthparents, and the height and weight of my birthfather. I have felt that this info could be false. Either the birthmom falsified ages, or CHS did.
What do you think?
ALOT of other things match, so I am researching the lead until I know all I can.
Any advise on how to proceed with the info I have would be appreciated.
Hi Montana -
Frustrating isint it !
While I do not have proof of it yet...I am fully convienced that some of my info from CHS of CA is false as well.
I also got my non id info from CHS in 95 and searched based on that info. Recently though I have figured out that the birth age's of my possible b.parents may not match the info that CHS gave me. I also found out that CHS was instrumental in using a BOGUS surname for my Birthfather at the time of my birth. This is done I think, when a b.father is not present during the adoption process.
So...having said that, I hired a PI to get my birthname. It wasnt expensive at the time. I paid like 45.00 usd to get the names. I have since confirmed those names in the CA Birth index under my birthdate. This is when I found the bogus surname of my father. But I believe that my b.mom's maiden name is correct. This remains to be seen I suppose.
I would suggest - if you have your possible names, your birth name or your parents names, use a 5 year span on the ages. Reunion.com is a good site to use to find folks - as this site will provide automatic ongoing searchs for whomever you may be looking for and send you emails of when they find matchs. Maybe a place to start if you have names.
Good Luck !! Keep us posted.
Hi! Thanks for the input. I got what I thought was an update on my heritage summary, and it was just info on searching. Children's home Society of Virginia is now charging $175.00 to do a summary and $300.00 for the non-id. Why would we adoptee's have to pay for what is rightfully ours? OH well, I'm going to keep on digging.
The 5 year span is a good idea, and allows for my lead to fit in the pic better. Going to try to track down my "possible" BM, if she'll talk, I'll know for sure if I'm barking up the wrong tree. Thanks again!
I am starting to think its not even worth trying to go through CHS for any info. Especially giving them money for info that might not even be correct.
Anyone have any luck with the Cali CHS at all?
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Please know that not all CHS's are run the same way. They are all separate non-profits, run and governed separately.