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I always love hearing these stories from fellow adoptees... When you were a child, what did you imagine about your birth parents (assuming you didn't know much, if anything)? Did you pretend they were rich and famous? Did you imagine they were nuclear physicists? Is there some unique trait you have that you're just SURE you must have received from them? I was born in 1968, so I used to like to daydream that I was the illegitimate child of Marilyn Monroe and John F Kennedy. Of course later I looked it up. She died 6 years before I was born. That shot that theory right out the window. Later I wised up and realized they must have been in a very difficult situation to have to make such a decision. Years later, I found out the reason... more about that can be found on [url="http://www.abetterlifebook.blogspot.com"]www.abetterlifebook.blogspot.com[/url]. So what's your story? I love reading these stories!
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I had to laugh at your post, you are funny. You also must have had a wonderfull imagination as a child. Bet that kept your parents busy.
When is your birthday. I was born on Nov. 4th 1968. In SanFrancisco. That fact had alot to do with what I thought of my birthparents. I imagined a very young girl at odds with her parents, drinking, drugs and alot of free love were some of the things I thought about.
When I was little before my own self was corrupted with the above, I used to imagine what she looked like. Funny I never thought about my birthfather. I don't know why that is, but just is. I imagined that she was very pretty, with long brown hair, not very tall. I imagined she loved me very much. I imagined it tore her apart to have to give me away.
But I did not think often about them. I don't remember pondering about them for any length of time. Only every once in a while. Usually when my parents made me mad, and I wanted to punish them with thoughts of "You aren't my real parents" I was a little kid that is what they do. They are great manipulaters. Deep down inside I think I was very indifferent with my feelings in regards to them. I felt very matter a factly that they gave me up and that was the end of it.
Maybe not what you wanted to hear, my thoughts weren't always so creative. I wish they would have been though. Will be interesting to hear from adoptees like yourself that imagined such things as you mentioned.
good idea by the way, andi
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Actually, I didn't think about them often as a child, either. But when I did, my imagination went wild. Funny thing, I've had friends who aren't adopted, imagine similar scenarios... they ponder, "Maybe I was adopted... maybe these aren't my real parents..." So you don't even need to be adopted to escape to a different family in your imagination. I remember when I was in college, I started dating this guy... we were in the early starry eyed phase of finding that we had so much in common. "I like this kind of music." "Me Too." "I like to downhill ski." "Me too." "I was adopted." "Me too." Turns out he had a similar idea as a kid... that HE was the illigit child of Kennedy and Monroe. All the sudden it got a little creepy. WHAT IF WE WERE REALLY SIBLINGS! EWWWW! We ended that conversation quickly. I have since confirmed that I have no siblings, at least not anywhere near my age. I think there's a very good chance that my biological mother is married and had children. But I'm married now... no chance of hooking up with a brother. YIKES!
I'm one of those non-adoptees that fantasized about a diff family. I was born in 1961, and my fantasy was that I was actually middle east royalty dropped here to study americans and that when I turned 18 they'd rescue me. fine, but I'm now 44 and they're a bit late ;) .
my nephew grew up away from his dad (divorce) and his view was that life with his dad would be perfect. Of course by the time he was 17 he realized it wouldn't be perfect, just different.
I think the fantasy family is always a great dream for all kids. Families are never exactly what you want, so you dream about the one that would be perfect. My guess is that for adoptees, there's an extra spin to it, because it might actually be true!
I'll be interested to see where my daughter's imagination takes her. We're in an open adoption, but my guess is that she'll have a wild imagination too, envisioning all sorts of things :) .
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