34 pregnant w/ health issues, what do I do?

Kat, it sounds like you have to first determine if your pregnancy poses a severe health risk for you. Consult your doctor and make your choices on whether to deliver a baby or not based on that. Once you decide whether or not to continue the pregnancy, then and only then could you make a decision on whether you will parent or place. I agree with sneezyone in regards to not making a placement decision on your fiance's wishes, but not the part about making the decision assuming he won't "warm to the child". You need to make the decision as to whether you will be able to live without your child once he or she is born. Then see how the fiance fits into that scenario. If you make the decision heavily based on what your fiance wants, you could end up resenting him, destroy your relationship, and then you have neither your child nor your fiance. Of course he should be part of the decision process, he/she is his baby, too. But please don't make the decision solely to keep your relationship. There just are no guarantees.

I too have had a friend with MS who has given birth to 5 beautiful children with absolutely NO health problems. Before, during or after pregnancy. The children are all in their teens and getting married now and my friend is doing wonderfully. :) I too would be more concerned with the boyfriend sticking around after the birth. :confused: You are the one who must discern this.. take a look at where you are at this point of your life-- what you want the future to be with or without your child if you place or parent. Also get the best prenatal care out there. Start taking your vitamins and eat healthy. You are a high risk pregnancy because of having MS and also since you are 35, drs tend to do more monitoring and tests to make sure everything is progressing as the baby grows. Good Luck in discerning, my prayers are with you.. Yvonne Another link to the MS society.. [url]http://www.nationalmssociety.org/spotlight-pregnancy.asp[/url] I quote" Effects of Pregnancy on MS: Prior to 1950, most women with MS were counseled to avoid pregnancy because of the belief that it might make their MS worse. Over the past 40 years, many studies have been done in hundreds of women with MS and they have almost uniformly reached the opposite conclusion. Pregnancy appears to have a relatively protective effect on women with MS. The number of MS exacerbations is reduced during pregnancy, especially in the second and third trimesters. An exacerbationalso known as an attack, relapse, or flareחis a sudden worsening of an MS symptom or symptoms, or the appearance of new symptoms, which lasts at least 24 hours and is separated from a previous exacerbation by at least one month." "n general, pregnancy does not appear to affect the long-term clinical course of MS. Women who have MS and wish to have a family can usually do so successfully with the assistance of their neurologist and obstetrician." Definately talk with your OB and Neuroligist, look at the studies and get a second opinion either way..

Hi there, any kind of stress to the body can cause furthering of your ms sxes. It may not...but then again it may. That is a huge issue and not one to be swept away...the relaspe can be nothing or it can land you in a w/c......or worse.nobody really knows. That is something you need to talk to with your ob...and more imortantly a high risk obstricion...there may be measures you can take to lessen the chance of any problems.. get the the doctors as soon as possible so you have the info to base a decsion.....in terms of your ms anyway. I agree with plareb,,this needs to be done first..then you need to think of pareting placing, dealing with fiancee ,money ect. Its your body...your pregnancy..you can make the best decisions for you...when you have all the facts

Hi Kat. Just thinking of you and wondering how things are going for you. Hope you've had a chance to do some research and give everything some thought this week. Also hope you are continuing to get lots of support from your fiance and your mom if you have told her... Would love to hear/read an update if you feel comfortable sharing. Wishing you the best, Ellie

Hi Ellie, just wanted to let you know what's been going on. John and I had been leaning heavily towards keeping it. He has been really supportive and I've been pleasantly surprised by his turnaround. Unfortunately, when we went to see a high risk obst., we were told that in addition to the risks MS-wise, I'd also be required to take shots of Lovenox (blood thinner) daily throughout the entire pregnancy. There are obvious risks involved with this. We've considered the effects to our families and my 9 year old son if, God forbid, I bled to death (not to mention the other issues). We've decided it's not worth the risk. This was and is a very, very difficult decision to make. We will probably carry out this decision within a week's time. I do feel guilty but we think this may be the best way to go for all of us. Thank you so much for your concern and thoughfulness. I truly appreciate it more than you know.

Please get more information..and dont just rely on one source...the risks ARE NOT as high as you think.. read this.. [url]http://answers.google.com/answers/threadview?id=532522[/url] [url]http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?cmd=Retrieve&db=PubMed&list_uids=11762651&dopt=Abstract[/url] [url]http://www.ingentaconnect.com/content/bsc/ajo/2003/00000043/00000002/art00010[/url] Birth and delivery outcomes among women with MS 28.02.03 August 2002 It is known that MS is more common in women, and first symptoms typically appear between the ages of 20 and 40 years, a time when many individuals are planning pregnancies. In the past, many health care professionals recommended that women with MS should avoid pregnancy, due to the limited success of a limited number of treatments, and some evidence of pregnancy-related relapse or worsening of symptoms. In recent years, due to advances in therapy and symptom management, women who are considering pregnancy are now encouraged do to so, as long as their level of disability has been assessed, and a course of therapy is established which can be initiated after pregnancy. Some recent studies have looked at the effects of pregnancy on MS but have not focussed on the measurement of adverse effects during and after birth. The aim of this study was to determine whether women with MS who deliver are more likely to have pregnancy or delivery complications, have a premature birth, have babies of low birth weight, or have babies with irregularities, than women without MS. The need for rehospitalisation was also looked at during the two years following delivery. Women who had given birth during the period 1987-1996 were included in the study. 198 women with MS participated, and a comparison group of 1584 women without MS were also included. The course of pregnancy, birth outcomes, and the need for rehospitalisation within 2 years of the birth were compared in the two groups. The results from this paper suggest that women with MS are no more likely to have pregnancy or delivery complications than women without MS. One possible exception is maternal anaemia (iron deficiency during pregnancy, delivery and post-delivery), which women with MS were more likely to have. Additionally, neither were babies of women with MS more likely to be low birth weight or premature, or have abnormalities. However, women with MS were twice as likely to be rehospitalised during the first 3 months after delivery, compared with women without MS. The overriding message from this research paper is that some reassurance is provided for women with MS who want children, that their babies are not at increased risk of abnormalities, premature birth, low birth weight, or infant death. The authors conclude that the increased risk of rehospitalisation emphasises a need for strong support systems and close monitoring during the three months after delivery. This information may be helpful to people affected by MS and their families, and to health care professionals involved in providing medical care to women with MS. These results were published in American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology, March 2002, vol 186, pages 446-452.

I second 6boys plea to get more information. Doctors often stress the negative in cases like this, and in an emotional state every remote possibility looms large in your mind. I can only speak for myself, but when I had complications with my son I truly believed that one of us would die...maybe both. I prayed that, if it meant that he would live, I would be the one to die. I would do anything, and sacrifice anything for my children, including my life. I knew that, if I died, I would be leaving behind a widowed husband and my children. But it meant more to me to leave them with the legacy of love and life, knowing that I gave my very life that my son might possibly have his. I only bring this up because of the pain that you expressed over your previous abortion. Please consider not only the immediate pregnancy risks, but also the mental and emotional risks (for you and your family) that go along with ending the pregnancy. I will be praying for you and your child.

I can only reiterate what has been posted. As an MS patient who is actively pursuing pregnancy, I have never been told that I would have to be on blood thinning medications or be anymore high risk than an OB Patient with any other disease, liked diabetes. My Dr.s have been very supportive and helpful҅theyre out there, so keep looking.

I appreciate you've thought a great deal about your next step, and also understand there isn't much time left to end the pregnancy if that's what's going to happen. Did the doc explain why the Lovenox was needed, are there other health issues? I don't mean to pry, but want to encourage you to get a second opinion. I would have been very high risk had I gotten pregnant. I made a decision to never be pregnant based on my feelings, as I know you need to do, but please find another doc this week, explain that you need help now so you can get in as soon as possible. Take care

Hi Kat, I just wanted to let you know that I have used Lovenox in the past when I developed blood clots in my lungs. It was painful, but only while you're actually doing the injections. After that for the most part I didn't even really think about it. If you need to talk to someone about it feel free to PM me.

To all, Thank you for your concerns. It is not the MS at this point that has changed my mind. I've known tons about MS myself from my own research etc. The issue now is that I've had a blood clot in my lung that I was hospitalized for and that I would have to take lovenox full time during this pregnancy along with the risks that go with that (bleeding etc.). When we added everything up all together, this was the straw that broke the camel's back. I know the MS relapse risks after having the baby are small but they are legitimate. I personally know 2 women that ended up in a wheelchair after giving birth and I know many more that were just fine. People with MS usually feel wonderful during the actual pregnancy. I know I did when I was pregnant with my now 9 year old son. There are other possible issues healthwise as well but all results are not in yet. However in our eyes this is not looking good. I go in for more tests and results tomorrow but we have pretty much made up our minds at this point. By the way I'm going to a Methodist based high risk clinic so I doubt that they would be overstating the "bad" as they are anti-abortion.

Re-Read what you wrote.. From the outside looking in, it seems that you are leaning towards abortion because of your boyfriend... He said have an abortion... you wont be able to give they baby up for adoption. We know the pressure to abort is very highly influenced by those near to us in this case the pressure is on for you boyfriend so it seems that you are trying to convince yourself that this is the way it must be. Honey, it isnt the way it must be. You value life and you value and love the child growing within you. 10 years from now, you will still have your precious child, 10 years from now you may not have your boyfriend. Who takes precedence? For the sake of not sounding crass or pushy.. an old idiom so to speak comes to mind... If your boyfriend or your baby were both in the middle of the lake and were drowning and you could only save one, who would you save? You and the baby are so in my prayers... ~Yvonne

Quote: Hi Ellie, just wanted to let you know what's been going on. John and I had been leaning heavily towards keeping it. He has been really supportive and I've been pleasantly surprised by his turnaround. Unfortunately, when we went to see a high risk obst., we were told that in addition to the risks MS-wise, I'd also be required to take shots of Lovenox (blood thinner) daily throughout the entire pregnancy. There are obvious risks involved with this. We've considered the effects to our families and my 9 year old son if, God forbid, I bled to death (not to mention the other issues). We've decided it's not worth the risk. This was and is a very, very difficult decision to make. We will probably carry out this decision within a week's time. I do feel guilty but we think this may be the best way to go for all of us. Thank you so much for your concern and thoughfulness. I truly appreciate it more than you know.

If it is a concern to you and your spouse, then it is your choice. I do think you should get a second opinion but if you are worried about what could happen -- and the risk is too great, then you must do what you decide. You must do what you can live with. I think bringing up the original post lacks weight because the OP stated that her spouse has presently turned around and he has been supportive. If the OP's health and her 9 yr. old's son's security is priority one, even if it is not my choice, it is hers. I think if these concerns are very valid and a serious health issue is valid (IMO), then being supportive of her decision at such a difficult time is in order.Best wishes to you.

Actually , if you read my second post, you would see that he had changed his mind. He wanted to keep it. He has supported me and has not pressured me at all to have an abortion. We discuss things without pressure. Once the initial shock of my being pregnant was over (a few days), his feelings changed. I appreciate your feelings about this. I would of course save my child first. However, and I'm sure you don't agree with this and that's okay, at nine weeks, I do not consider it the same thing as my son. That is just how I feel. It doesn't mean that I'm not sad about it. When I developed MS and couldn't walk, my fiancee would carry me to the bathroom till I got a cane. He supported me then and he supports me now. Of course he is important to me, but I'm not afraid of losing him. I certainly wouldn't do or not do something just to keep him and the same goes for him. When I first posted on here I was scared and confused. My world had turned upside down. Since then I took things one step at a time. My friends, family, and fiance, discussed the issues, pros and cons, the whole way through. I saw a therapist more than once (and will continue to see one for awhile), and saw many doctors and have been keeping my high risk appointments (including one for tom.). I'm not in the same place as when I first wrote. I'm not quite as scared. I'm more informed. I do pray all the time (for all here too) for "will" not for "want". Everybody has different feelings, issues, and lives, and I respect that even when I don't agree. Am I willing to die for my 9 year old? Absolutely! I cannot say the same in this situation. For all I know it could be out of my hands anyway as I'll find out more tomorrow.

Kat, I think you've expressed yourself quite well here. You've thought through everything and you'll make the choice that's best for you and your family. Ideological preferences aren't the only consderation. I certainly respect that and wish you all the best. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.