Torn and Juggling

kay, have not had this issue arrise yet, but just wanted to say you are in my thoughts and i hope your mom is on the mend.

My mom is doing much better. The codeine helped her rest, and that helped the pain, and she's now able to cut back on the codeine. I confirmed the emergency plan with friends, but am so thankful I didn't have to use it this time!

kay ~ It is so difficult when we feel the need to be in two places at once ~ and obviously we can't be! :( Life is not the same as it was generations ago and we get pulled in many different directions. When my Father was terminal I had a manager that didn't understand. I literally had to tell him that while I didn't want to lose my job and would do the best I could, I only had one set of parents and they only had me and I needed to do what I needed to do!!! When my Mother was terminal thank goodness I had a different manager that was caring and compassionate. Perhaps you could go spend the weekend with your Mother or arrange for your son to spend a couple nights with a friend. Any chance that your Mother would move closer to you? It's hard because friends are also important and she may not want to give up her independence. Thoughts are with you as you embark on this "next chapter". I will say that as difficult and stressful as it was sometimes, I am so grateful that I was able to be there for my parents. We had some truly quality time together. I miss them so much and these are comforting memories. Take care ~dl :)

When I talked with Mom last night, she sounded 100% better. She's stopped the pain pills completely, and says she moves with care, but moves well now. She's to go back to the doctor today, and we're hoping that he'll just confirm that she's on the mend. Thanks for the good wishes. C and I will go to see her, as planned, next weekend. I would love it if she'd move closer, dl, but so far she won't consider it, and I can't say I really blame her. She'd go from a small community where she's lived for 57 years, where she can still get around, with friends and services nearby, to a metropolis where she'd know no one but me and my brother, where she wouldn't be safe driving, so would be housebound unless we were available to drive her, etc. Just not in the cards right now. (I've actually considered moving closer to her, but that would not be an ideal situation for C, who's adjusted/adapted so well to our community as Home.) Hard stuff. I agree that it's important to be there as much as possible, I was when my dad died 11 years ago; I'm just not ready to go through this again! I guess none of us ever are . . .

Kay ~ Just checking in to see how your Mother and you are doing. Were you able to visit for the weekend? I can understand how difficult it would be for your Mother to move. Considering she's in a small community and would have to adjust to a larger "city life" would be so hard for all of you. So true, none of us are ready to go through the loss of our parents. My Mother died 14 months after my Father. It was so painful. Take care. Just wanted to let you know you're in my thoughts. :)

Thanks, dl, for your concern. My mom says she's much better, totally off the codeine and getting around on her own. I'll be going up this weekend, just to make sure! Also, there's a nursing home there that she really likes, and she's wanted us to check it out together, "just in case". Somehow we just never have the time - I think it's time to make the time, so that's on the agenda for this weekend, too. (And C is very upset with me because this weekend away is interfering with his social life. Sigh. Sometimes I'll go without him, but this is not going to be one of those times.) And my sympathies to you on the loss of your parents. It was so hard when Dad died, but at least I've been blessed to still have Mom for these past 11+ years.