Advertisements
Advertisements
[font=Comic Sans MS]Hi,
I posted a question similar to this in the general international adoption froum before I found this Philippine specific one so please forgive my repetition.
My name is Kevin and my wife Janneth, who is filipino, and I are wanting to adopt a little girl. We know about the wait and that's ok. I'm more concerned with a a past mistake I made when I was a stupid teenager in the Army.
When I was 19 I got married. Shortly after, less than 3 months, I was shipped overseas for 18 months. When I returned to the States and got out of the military, the bride was no where to be found. I didn't bother with getting marriage anulled or anything at the time because it just didn't seem like a big deal. About 2 years later I asked the woman I was dating to marry me and only then did it sink in that I needed to take care of the past first. After running an ad in the paper for 30 days, a judge sign the divorce and I got on with my life.
After 13 years of questionable marriage and 2 sons later we ended up going our separate ways.
I am now happily married to a wonderful woman whom I would dearly love to have a child with. Unfortunately, that is physically impossible now so our other option is to adopt.
I don't wish to start the process only to break my wife's heart because of my youthful stupidity. From all that I've read, only 1 divorce is permitted but I was hoping that was something that could be overlooked in certain circumstances.
Please give me some peace of mind on this matter, one way or the other.
Thank you,
[/font]
Advertisements
[font=Comic Sans MS]Well I did find out that 2 divorces wouldn't completely kill our chances. I've heard back from Wider Horizons and received an initial email from Holt International.
Has anyone dealt with either of these organizations and what are your feelings about them?
Thanks,
Kevin
[/font]
Hi Kevin,
Although you didn't mention specifics, it seems as if you've gotten good preliminary information from those two agencies--our information we heard of was the same that you initially knew of, only one divorce. Did either of those agencies tell you no problem with the 2 divorces, just curious...
Also, the other part we've heard of is that you have to be married at LEAST 5 years for the second marriage (I guess in this case it would be your 3rd marriage...) for them to feel comfortable enough that your relationship was stable enough and there would be permancy and stability for the child...which is critical in their eyes.
Did either agency mention how long a 3rd marriage would need to be in order for them and the ICAB to work with you?
JoyfulnHopeful
Hi Kevin,
Although you didn't mention specifics, it seems as if you've gotten good preliminary information from those two agencies--our information we heard of was the same that you initially knew of, only one divorce. Did either of those agencies tell you no problem with the 2 divorces, just curious...
Also, the other part we've heard of is that you have to be married at LEAST 5 years for the second marriage (I guess in this case it would be your 3rd marriage...) for them to feel comfortable enough that your relationship was stable enough and there would be permancy and stability for the child...which is critical in their eyes.
Did either agency mention how long a 3rd marriage would need to be in order for them and the ICAB to work with you?
I had a phone conversation with the Philippine program administrator from Wide Horizons. She told us that 2 divorces wouldn't completely rule us out but it would probably take us a little longer than if I didn't have any divorces at all. Also, the 5 year marriage rule applies. These things come as no surprise to me. Since my wife is from the Philippines, I'm fully aware of the culture and attitude towards divorce. Divorce in the country is, more or less, illegal. You can apply for anullments but the reasons better be very convincing. I don't think I'd try it it if I had more than 2 divorces though. We really want a little girl from the Philippines so a little longer wait will be worth it all. I have 2 boys already so a little girl will be nice.