Still Discovering

The facts and the relationships are supposed to go together. When you live for 48 years and have many so called family members and you're not in a relationship with any of them, isn't that evidence that something is wrong? It's rhetorical. At least in my case it is. Well, too many red flags and too many memories of people that didn't fit into our model family that we were portraying that we had. Many other things played into the discovery process that my eldest brother was really my named birth father from his 3rd wife of 7 years. He was estranged as a brother, it's not different since I revealed to him that I was aware of his being my birth father. He is of poor character and has multiple problems. However, I have the natural affection that a daughter has for her father, not a brother. He pretends that he loves me as a sister and a daughter, it's truly strange and I can't do it. :eek: My birth mother is not around, I don't expect her, although I did have hopes that maybe she would reappear after Mom and Dad have both passed away. I have many mixed feelings about her returning, and I really don't think it would be a good healthy reunion for me or for my family. - dh of 17 yrs, dear daughter, son in law, three grandchildren and dear son. It didn't go well when birth father showed up, almost lost my husband over that one. That won't happen again. There isn't really much room for her in my life anymore. Not that she is asking anyway - and I mean no disrespect to those birth Mom's who would love to reunite, I realize that everyone is different. I do wish I was on the receiving end of one of you that want to reunite though, and I wish you the best! My ADad was my paternal Uncle (now deceased) - not my grandfather as I had originally thought some years previously - he would have been my grandfather if birth father was really his son, but that wasn't a fact either. No one was who they led me to believe they were = I mean no one! I'm aggravated about it tonight - more so than usual. I know this is a good place to vent from time to time. I've learned to cope with this for the most part, and I have wonderful blessed life, I feel bad for even venting about the pain of it really. I don't talk about it to anyone in my family - we have all sort have been there done that, and moved on. They just feel sad for me and can't help me, it's not productive or healthy anymore. We stay focused on the postive and raising the grandchildren. Anyhow, I realize this is a bunch of random stuff, somehow I think I'll feel better if I just don't try to make it make sense and just hit post! God bless, thanks for listening. :thanks: White