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I know it's been a long time since I wrote. Hope some of you remember me? Last I wrote, I had found a couple but still not completely sure they were "it".They were a very nice couple but after meeting a few times, it still just wasn't a good fit. I really did try my hardest but I guess I just want that "click", and it just wasn't there. I think they would have made great parents to the baby, but not necessarily good friends to me. I'm back to on line profiles I guess. I told the agency I'm no longer interested in working with them because I got tired of being pushed. It wasn't that they weren't nice, it's just that they didn't seem to want to help me as much after I turned down a few couples through them. They kept showing me profiles of couples I already said no about and just not seeming to understand that what I wanted was for them to truly help me find the right family, not just the next one on the list. I mean, I'm really sorry for the couples that have been waiting for so long, but if there's anything I've learned in my short life, it's that family relationships are so important. I need to have that relationship, if that makes sense? Baby is doing really well and I'm feeling like a house! I'm taking it easy and not letting things stress me out. The ex is still an ex and he and his mom have stopped talking to me completely now. At first I was upset but now I'm thinking that is actually a good thing because they were just adding so much stress to my life. Anyway, just felt the need to chat a little! I know I'll be okay and still have plenty of time to find the family for my baby. God will not let me down, I just know it!:) Pluma
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Good for you for standing up for yourself and your baby. If i remember correctly...weren't they the ones calling your doctor??? If so, I'm glad you went with your feelings and ran away from that situation. You have every right to have as much contact as you want with your baby. And it's great that you're being so selective and making up your mind for yourself, not letting someone else do it for you. Our birthmom was with another agency and had chosen a couple for her baby, but felt the same way you did. She didn't click with the couple and didn't feel comfortable with the agency. She switched agencies, took her time deciding, and she said when she saw our scrapbooks, she knew in her heart we were the right ones for her baby. We enjoyed getting to know her and spending lots of time with her after the birth. The door remains and will always be open to her in our lives and the life of the miracle she gave to us. Don't worry Sweetheart, God will give you direction and show you the right parents for your little one. Just keep your eyes open, take your time, and pray for guidance. Please contact me if you need to talk. Lori
Dear Pluma, It is truly wonderful to hear from you. Here we are - we "meet" electronically and share our woes and take each other to heart. I missed you and worried about you and have never met you in person!! I am so proud of you for not compromising your adoption needs. I am guessing that the agency that you were working with does not really embrace the concept of open adoption. I suspect that they are only using it to lure women into placing their children. Otherwise, they would be working harder for you and not just the people who are forking over the bucks to them. You are an amazing lady! You will find the right solution for your baby and YOU! Hugs, Happy G'Ma
UtahSky
I mean, I'm really sorry for the couples that have been waiting for so long, but if there's anything I've learned in my short life, it's that family relationships are so important. I need to have that relationship, if that makes sense?
God will not let me down, I just know it!:)
Pluma
My sympathies are with you. My dear neighbors are trying to adopt and I think they are feeling overwhelmed on the opposite end. They to trust God is watching over them and guiding them. Just remember God is always with you!!!!Plus, you were right in standing up for youself and your child.
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Hi There,Good for you for sticking with your instinct. It is going to be important for the family you choose to consider you a part of their family too, and if they aren't give off the right vibe, you are so right for moving on. But don't give up there is a family out there who will be just perfect for you and your baby. My husband and I are trying to adopt a baby, so we know how important that relationship is and should be. If you want to talk give us a jingle. Good Luck on your journey. Jess B.Hopeful Adoptive Mom To Benomadjess@msn.comAOL IM nomadjess761-888-768-4748 Toll Free
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Thanks everyone, it does help to hear that validation! I may not post much but I read a lot and am learning it's so important to feel comfortable with my decisions. I only have a few more weeks before the baby arrives and am in contact with a family I feel pretty good about. What I really like about them is that she herself told me that since I'm so close to the due date that it would be best not to make a decision until after the baby is born. She doesn't want me to feel pressured into a last minute feeling. I was so happy to hear that! My house feeling is just enormous! lol. Thanks again...I really do appreciate the replies!Happy Thanksgiving!
I am so glad to hear that you are feeling comfortable with the family that you are speaking with! The potention A-mom sounds like she wants you to do what is best for you ... that is wonderful! Good luck and Happy Thanksgiving! Jackie ps... make sure you post as to how things are going :flower:
I am glad that you have found someone who is understanding. I wish you much luck in finding that forever couple to adopt your baby. Having been on all sides, a birthmom, mom and almost an amom (have both babies in my care) I can fully understand how you feel and how STRESSED you must be. Take all the time you need and please do take care of yourself:) God Bless you and your baby:) Summer
Your message touched me a lot, it seems as though you have been through a great deal. I can only imagine how important it is for you to "click" with the possible adoptive parents. you do have to play an important role in their lives. My husband and I just had our beautiful little girl pass away. So we know something of pain. Hang in there, I hope to hear from you.Faith
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Pluma,
I'm late getting to this thread, but I want to second your decision that the aparents of your baby will have to "click" with you. And it's not just because you'll be part of their family in an open adoption. Your child will get part of its "nature" from you, so if you feel understood by your baby's aparents, your baby is more likely to be similar/compatible with them, too.
I hope everything is going well with you and your baby.
Mary Jane
(birth mother in reunion almost 7 years)