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For those who were abandoned as babies or young children, nothing remains but questions. It isn't about having been adopted by a loving family, or having come through the foster care system into a productive life. It goes much deeper than that. While the questions may be similar to those of adoptees and former foster kids who were not abandoned, they are not the same.For those who were abandoned, there is little hope of finding answers, no matter how many "open records" laws are enacted. For those who were abandoned, posting information on a traditional search and reunion registry does little because they know so little.These are very real and difficult situations, that are much less talked about than adoption or the tragedies that result in the disrupted homes that lead children into foster care.There are two especially great books by women who were abandoned, Finding Me in a Paper Bag" by Sally Howard, and Foster Care Odyssey: A Black Girl's Story by Theresa Cameron. Howard was literally abandoned in a large paper bag left on the porch of a farmhouse, and Cameron was abandoned at Catholic Charities by her mother, who disappeared and never returned. Both books are remarkable stories of survival, that offer hope to others who are searching for their internal identities. Both of these remarkable women fought their demons and won, and their books are a source of support and encouragement for others.In addition to these books, there is also keel foundation with the stated mission of "providing emotional support through interaction and education to individuals directly affected by abandonment." Message boards and chat welcome those who have been abandoned, birthparents of abandoned children, adoptive parents of children who were abandoned, and those concerned with legislation and advocacy. The group's message boards also include an area for search posts.Note: Though not abandoned, those who were adopted through "black market" adoption operations are often in the similar situation of not knowing how and where to start asking questions or searching for family members.
Last update on April 27, 2:56 pm by Miriam Gwilliam.
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Hi, A lot of people had a concern before the "safe Haven Baby law" was started. Now many states are realizing "how its not working" It sounds good, but in reality it doesn't work as they hoped for. To think a sign in the middle of a parking lot at Circle K, says "Safe Haven Spot" and a person should leave a baby there. This unknown mother or family, isn't being kind to this baby. Everyone does have a right to know about their background. More than "they loved you very much" Everyone deserves medical information, and background info. Sincerely, Joan Searched and found nyc
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Not everyone IS supporting safe haven laws. I know many reunited birth moms and adoptees who feel that they are a very bad idea. Safe havens, IMHO are not only a bad idea for the babies whose identities are erased, but, they do nothing to address the problem of women so desperate they would abandon their babies. Any woman that disturbed needs some serious counseling. I think it is sad that we are so anxious to "rescue" her baby that we ignore her when she obviously needs our help too. And no one has a right to give birth and remain anonymous from their own child. Women in crisis pregnancies need more help than just offering to take their babies from them.