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Hi there -- I hopefully check back now and then hoping to find something new on this message board, but alas -- I am mostly disappointed. I say we get this message board going again.
Who is out there? I'll start:
My partner and I have just completed our homestudy and are about to begin the match process. We are hoping to adopt a sibling group of 3 under the age of 7. Have you ever noticed that the folks at your agency are not as anxious as you are about getting on to the next step? I cannot wait to begin the match and placement process, and our meeting with our placement worker is not for two more weeks! I guess I will have to be patient.
Anyone else out there? I would love to hear suggestions about what to think about as you are reviewing potential placements, as well as what to do to ease the transition when the kids first arrive in your home.
thanks!
Dawn
Hi
My hubby and I are in the foster to adopt process for two half sisters ages 5 & 7
They moved in 6/2005
Right now our main focus is that the honeymoon is OVER and I believe the 5 year old is bio-polar.
I kind of chuckled about reviewing potential placements. On our referral it goes on and on about the problems the 7 yr old had in school, temper etc (she is doing AWESOME this year though) and it says the 5 yr old is a "easy going, flexible child" ! UM NO! She has tantrums, she is in an outpatient treatment program (already was, they told me it was just a regular preschool) And we have come VERY close to having an ambulance come get her to put her hospital.
Diane
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Diane -- thanks for your reply. If you had it to do over again, what would you do differently in the match process? Are there questions you wished you had asked, or people you wished you had talked to?
Dawn
My husband and I are going through the placement process at the moment. We are at the very beginning. We have talked a lot with our future daughter's foster parents and we'll have our first "official" meeting with her on Dec 9th. We actually stumbled across her when we were meeting another little girl at the foster home (sibling group of 2 girls, one born on Oct 27th). We fell in love with her immediately and when it didn't work out with the original girls, we inquired on T.
The process has been slow. We met her on Oct 18th. Inquired on Oct 25th. Confirmed that she was available for adoption, submitted our homestudy and then got on the rollercoaster. Getting information from her social worker has been like pulling teeth but everything is finally moving. T's foster parents have been excellent in helping us get more information. Her social worker actually told us to talk to them to learn more. They have set up a meeting with her therapist, got us in touch with her teachers via email and kept us apprised of her struggles and accomplishments. For us, this close relationship with the foster parents is probably going to help a lot in the placement process. T will see that we have their approval and hopefully transfer that to herself. She has been with them for three years and trusts them.
I think what has helped most though is having an outlet when we get a day of questionable news (it is a rollercoaster). I took up quilting. It helps immensely with the wait. Chocolate also helps. My husband and I baked two chocolate cakes the other weekend. MMmmmm.
Good luck to you! Searching is fun but I know it can be frustrating too!
Torina