need response from adoptees

I think your 7 yr. old will remember you. I am afraid I think your 2 yr. old will only know what he is told. I hope you have the tenacity to hold on to your heart and when they reach adulthood seek them out. And, let them know how much they are loved. And always have been. Good luck and and I pray you have some peace in knowing that loving them may be something you have for later in life. Look forward to the day you can openly tell them. They will not be 7 and 2 forever. I am profoundly sorry for your loss.

Hi---I'm a foster mom who has adopted her foster son, so maybe I have some perspective from the other side of the fence. Many MANY MANY of the fost/adopt parents I know welcome some sort of contact with birthfamily. Have you tried sending a letter to each child via DCFS? In many cases, they will forward the letter to the adoptive family. Be sure and keep your letter appropriate---"I love you so much" is great, but don't make any promises you can't keep, because you don't want to disappoint the kids. If you approach this in a spirit of wanting what is best for your kids, and helping them become whole by integrating birth family and adoptive family, you might be surprised at what happens. I know I was--I was originally told my son's birthfamily was HORRIBLE. It turns out that some of them are okay--confused, mixed up, with problems, but basically nice people. We have a pretty open relationship, and my son's bmom calls me on a regular basis. I like our relationship and I hope it ends up being what is best for our little boy.

Your letter has given me some sort of hope that maybe they will eventually see that I am a good person. I have written to the boys and never get info back. 1 time I got some of my youngest's school work, but that was 4 years ago. I have no clue what the foster family for my oldest has been told about anything. I don't even think they know what truly happened. Are the court records open to the adoptive parents? I know they aren't to me. I don't know what's in them. I do know that the originating social services worker had no clue on how to do her job. She didn't even have children. I found out after my case that she was fired. I can get no information on this either. I am still in mourning for my kids. The holidays kill me the worst. I have posted their journals online and have sent both set's of adoptive parents the link. I also have other members of the family on the group as well. All I ask is that if they ever have questions, to either ask my kids or me. None of us will lie about what happened. I was told that because i was honest about everything, they used it against me. I wasraised with deciet my whole life and I am too honest, to a fault as the saying goes. I also have problems phrasing things the right way. I try so hard.

My Mother dissapeared and left myself along with my siblings at home alone. She never returned or contacted us. I was 7, sister of 5, brother of 3, baby sister of around 20 months. In answer to your question "Will they remember everything, or forget about me"... I have memories of before my Mother left, only a few, but still, I can vaguely picture her then, things I remember most about her, her long blonde hair, and how her teeth crossed very slightly at the front, her front two. I can vaguely see her face in my mind. I do not remember her leaving or what happened after she left, but remember some things of life when with her. I doubt the seven year old will forget you completely, but am not sure the two year old will remember, my younger siblings do not have any memories of our Mother, or the life we all had together. I am sorry this happened, I hope one day you will be able to reunite, and have your questions answered by your boys... Hugs, Collette

i think you are a very loving mother, and no matter what happends, no matter where you go, or who you meet, who you have to fight, you should never stop fighting for your little boys, ever, they are your natural born babies and no other human has the right to take them away, if you love them and can take care of them, and if you cant, at least you obviously love them, and have a right to see them, if only every now and then. i understan things might not be that simple but i think you should try to find some court system that will let you fight for your kids. some social workers, are stupid stuck up jerks, to be quite honest, and your kids may have not even had to leave you in the first place, my parents were convicted of abuse twice, and never ever layed a hand on me or my brothers, the whole thing was bs, so keep fighting and God bless you! :)

I think both will remember you. my kids were 6 and 2 when I placed them for adoption. I always knew my girl 6 would remember me. I worried about my son 2 forgetting me. I have since found out that he has not forgottn me. He took in pic to school for show and tell and told everyone this is my first mommy. he is now going to be 12 feb 8 and has not let any memories go. my gilr now 15 went to the libeary in school pulled out my year book and told everyone this is my mother not debbie. the teachers were dumb founded..... as my kids go to the same school i went to... so you thinkof what the teachers are thinking to know that they have been teaching my children. I was teacher pet in most of my classes. my kids have had the same teachers i did. so no i don't think they will forget you. they may not remember evrything at least not right now. things will come to them when they get older. it has for me. i was taken from my bmom at 5 yrs old. for the most pasrt I remember from 2years of age on. but i am still remembering this as life goes on. things happen and trigers things inmy memory. hang in there it will work out in the end. good bless

He remembers, and he used his birthname on facebook, and contacted me 2 days ago. We are both over the moon about it! he had a lot of questions and I had every answer for him. He ALSO has contact with his little brother, but for the time being, i am not pushing that. i want to get to know my son first, before i ask him if he's talked to my youngest yet!