adopting AA baby in C family

hi, you might want to pick up a copy of Inside Transracial Adoption by g. Steinberg and B. Hall. You might also check out Pact's website, [url]www.pactadopt.org[/url], where they have a ton of articles about what it's like to adopt transracially. It's certainly something to do research on before committing to adopt her child. good luck, Lisa

We have adopted 2 AA children and are both CC. We try to let the kids know about their bmoms. My daughter who is almost 4 is noticing that her skin is a different color then ours. So, we joined a group, in our county of families who have adopted AA children. We feel it's important for our children to see that they are not different and that our family isn't so different. A couple books which are good are:I'm Chocolate, You're VanillaDoes Anyone Else Look Like Me If the child is supposed to be yours you will know...and everything else will fall into place!Meg :)

Thanks for your replies. I have been reading alot of the other posts and feel very encouraged now. I do believe that if he is meant to be ours the Lord will work it out for us. And, will give us and him grace to face any challenges. As for me when there is a need, I want to meet it the best that I can and then the Lord will do the rest. Children are a gift from the Lord! Jessica :)

Hi Jessica - we're in the same boat with 4 bio kids and one AA/CC adopted child. She is the absolute joy of our lives. Honestly now that she has been with us a year, we are seriously considering pursuing another adoption of another biracial or AA child. I'm not entirely sure it's far for a child to be the only one in the family to look so different and also have come to the family through adoption. Like I said, these are just things we are pondering and we always want to do what's best for our kids. I wouldn't trade our precious Addy for anything!!!! Martha

she is just too cute. thanks for the encouragment. Jessica

Hi Jessica, I think it is important to honestly examine many aspects of your life before embarking on the journey of transracial adoption, most importantly is your circle of family and friends, support and attitudes. I am the mother of two children, both AA and adopted at birth. I am Caucasian, and my husband is Asian. We are conspicuous, blessed and thankful everyday for the opportunity to love and guide these amazing little spirits. They are still young but I feel emotionally, socially, educationally and spiritually prepared to guide them through this world that is often filled with inequity and judgment and help them become strong, confident, secure, independent and successful, happy adults. Good luck on your journey, whatever path you take.

We have two bio teens and we were a CC family until we adopted our beautiful AA daughter in March. We haven't had any issues yet and hopefully won't. I did have a 5 year old ask me if an AA woman standing near us was our baby's Mommy, and when I said no, I was, he asked why I was her Mommy.But we have talked about possible comments that could be hurtful toward her and/or us eventually. It requires a lot of soul searching and researching to make sure it is right for you. It is a situation that will be forever, not a short time. GOOD LUCK!!!

First let me congratulate you on the pending adoption! How exciting to have a baby coming into your life so suddenly and unexpectedly. My husband and I, both CC, have three children who we adopted at birth. Our oldest son, 6, is AA, middle son, 4, is AA/Asian and our daughter, 13 months, is AA/CC. I have noticed changing outward perceptions from people as our sons have gotten older. When they were babies everyone was very friendly and accommodating, commenting on how cute the babies were and giving us positive feedback. As my boys get older I'm noticing a shift in the public perception of our family. Of course I expected to get fewer "oh, how cute" comments, but what I wasn't prepared for were the sideways glances and at times outward hostility from people in stores, especially our people of the "older" generation. I also have noticed some inequities in treatment of my children and other children in school and daycare that I relate directly to their ethnicity, i.e. my children are blamed more often than not if there is a problem between them and another child. In other words, it's usually considered my child's fault if another child is fighting with them regardless of how the fight started or who instigated it. Of course, sometimes it is their fault, but not nearly as often as the teachers think it is. Call this racial inequity, happenstance, bad luck, whatever you want to call it, but it hurts nonetheless. We think that racism is something of the past in our society, but unfortunately that's not true. We just don't have outward racism like we used to. What we do have are very suble actions and reactions to people of color in our society that go unnoticed and uncommented upon by caucasians because we just don't realize it happens. As my boys get older, I notice more and more of these types of issues. I am not telling you this to dissuade you from adopting but simply to prepare you for what may happen when he's older. As another person posted, I highly recommend "Inside Transracial Adoption." This is a fantastic book and will really give you some insight into how transracially adopted children, and people of color in general, deal with growing up in our society. My children are the greatest gift God has given me, and I am thankful that I was prepared for the issues that are arising as they get older. I don't know how I would have handled these issues if I hadn't had the training and education from my agency prior to adopting. Best of luck and let us know how it turns out! Ilene

First, I want to say Congratulations for wanting to adopt outside your race. As a multi (I call myself black), single foster mom, I commend you. You'll notice things like AA and HIS kids are blamed more often. Another thing to remember is that racism does exist and that these kids can't do what Caucasian kids do and always get the same treatment.You might want to consider finding some multi-cultural institution: could be a church, where your kids see people who look like them and who look like you.

thankfullspirit - many congratulations, what an exciting time for you. I am CC, DH is 1/2 NA and 1/2 CC, DD#1 is bio so is NA and CC. So when we were adopting DD#1 was adamant that we adopt a non-CC child like her. So DD#2 is AA. She is 10 months old and we've had nothing but a positive experience so far. Children in the elementary DD#1 attended were very curious and asked a lot of questions but never anything inappropriate. I think that there is a lot of extra responsibility when you adopt a child of a different culture/heritage but we willingly accept that. What I wasn't as prepared for is all the stares. Now almost everyone smiles when they see her, she really is lovely :) but I"m a low-key sort of person so it's a little disarming to me. Also because we stand out I feel like THE AMBASSEDOR OF ADOPTION where ever I go. So if I am wearing grubby clothes or having a bad hair day, people take more notice, well just because as a fmaily we are more noticable. Definitely read a lot, research all you can, respect the child's background, join community events that may make you feel uncomfortable as a minority but help establish your child a position in his/her community. Our daughter is such a great joy, I can't imagine not having her in our lives. Good luck and best wishes -- Jo ps - TracyK - love the pic of yoru duaghter!!! She's soo cute!

It is official... The parents on Adoption.org are raising the most beautiful children Ive seen as far as photos posted on a parent-oriented website.

Cherish every moment with them.

I am AA and married to a man who is CC and adopting a baby who is AA. I think that because my husband is married to me he already deals with the race issue through how the world responds to me and how it is sometimes different from how the world responds to him as a CC man.

Netherless... I think that its important that you are well versed on American history through the contributions that Black Americans have made to our society, beyond just the history of slavery in this country.

Its also important to not allow family members to say disparaging things about your child's racial background be it in front of you or in front of your child...because if you ignore it, it does not mean the child doesn't pick up on it, and have their self esteem affected by it.

Read as much as you can on the lives of African Americans and make sure your child is not the only Black person he or she interacts with in his school or community. And just love the child...all children need love regardless of race.

:) :)