son`s unborn child

Hi Losnmymind,Think I'd be losn mine too! Your son definitely has rights, and does not have to terminate them if he does not want to. Could you offer to have this young woman live with you? Maybe you could direct her to this site for some support. It seems, from what you've said, that she needs some strength to do what she really wants, not what her mom wants. Sorry for your trouble, this is really sad. I hope she gets some support.

Your son has legal rights but he needs to demonstrate his interest in being a father with tangible support now! And he needs to document continuous support for his girlfriend and their child throughout her pregnancy. If he gets into a custody battle with adoptive parents, they could try to have his rights terminated unless he can prove that he has supported the child before and after the birth. His girlfriend's family probably feels overwhelmed right now and will likely change their minds if they know that you are there to offer your family's support. It is really scary to have a daughter who is pregnant and possibly facing the future as a single parent. Have you talked to them? Are you willing to help care for your grandchild while your son is on duty? Has your son contacted them? If they balk, I would get a lawyer and put your wilingness to support the child and your son's desire to be a father in writing. I would advise your son to document every call, email, and to keep receipts for all fianancial support. I would also have your son talk to military authorities for advice on how to assert his rights as a father while on active duty. God bless your son for serving our country. Good luck, Happy G'Ma

Echo, echo, echo what the others have said. Technically, he has full legal rights as a father and his signature should be required for an adoption, BUT agancies and laywers have great ways of getting around a "non-coorpoerative" father. Being that he is away..it might even be more easy for them to bamboozile the situation. If the family has gotten involved with an agency, then I would go ahead and get legal counsel ASAP. I know of a few people in that very same position as you..and they had a real battle on their hands. The agencies can be very dirty with this kind of thing...so don't give them the benefit of the doubt. Check and see if your state has a punitive fathers registry...you might have to really dig around to find it ( often the state workers themselves don;t know much about it..so try several anvenues)..this way he can put "claim" on any children born of his girlfriend. If you can help get the girlfriend away from the controlling mom..that might just be the ticket. But if you can't don't be afraid to get dirty with this...the agencies will fight dirty. I have seen it. Good luck..and good for you. Smart Grandma.

This is great advice from AwaitingBeloved! If this young woman really loves your son, she certainly does not want to part with their child. But, if she has not other place to live, she has no choice other than to do what her Mom dictates. Your support is critical. Good luck. Happy G'Ma

As others have posted, yes, your son has rights as the biological father of the child. In the eyes of the law, since he is not married to her, he is considered a putative father. Putative father rights are different than legal father rights. (A man is considered a legal father if he is married to the woman who gives birth). I see from your profile you are in VA, which does not have the most lenient laws regarding putative fathers. My best advice would be for your son to engage an attorney now who specializes in family law. The attorney can be his advocate in current affairs. Let the attorney direct and document any support, etc. happening now. Once the child is born and he asserts rights his paternity would likely be challenged and he be required to submit to (and pay for) a DNA test. Once paternity is established, then the court considers this as any other custody case. Does he wish to parent? Being AD/USAF, how does he plan on doing so? He must be prepared to show that he is able to provide fpr this child's needs through majority. I'm not going to paint a pretty picture here - VA is a tough state that does not look well on putative fathers. It will be a tough road - emotionally, financially - for all of you. If you perservere though, his chances are not bad. The eariler and more consistently he acts, the better. HTH, best of luck. Regina

In Ohio, if a putative father does not sign up with the registry within 30 days of the child's birth, he loses any right to receive notice of the adoption. In the adoption of my daughter, there were two putative fathers and neither one of them were notified by the Court because of their failure to sign up with the registry. You do not need a lawyer to do this (assuming you have the registry in your state). In Ohio, you can download the forms, fill them out and mail them in. Best to do this as soon as possible. Signing up with the registry is one of the many ways your son could show his intentions to parent. The other posters gave many good suggestions as well. Hang in there!