Start your child's lifebook now!

I just found these boards and think they are great. I have a question though... in addition to writing our child their "first letter" what other items or things do you do in this life book. I really want him to have something really special that he can look back on when he is old enough to read it. This is our first adoption and yes I am nervous and he's not even born yet... due by c-section early Sept. Thanks for your input Jennifer

Hi Jennifer, Thanks for your post. How exciting for you!! A baby right around the corner-- WOW! You asked what other things besides a letter to your unborn child can be included in his/her lifebook. Well, I would say the first thing you would want to include is something about YOU and your significant other-- things like where you grew up, something about your parents, your likes (and dislikes?)-- a little bit about your extended family-- that kind of a thing. I'd do one page for you-- and one for your husband. Then maybe a third page on the two of you together-- how you met, married (if so) and how you came to your decison to adopt. First put a picture of you (or both of you together) on the page-- and then begin! It's fun to write it in the format of a letter, I think, because it frees you up to be creative and informal. Hi there BABY-TO-BE, Do you want to know something about your mommy? Well, let me tell you! I am.... Also, Jennifer, do you know the birthparents? Have you met them? If so, are you open to them also having a page in your child's lifebook? That would be really something for your child-to-be. What are your feelings about that?

Thanks so much for ideas they are great. Yes we have met the birth parents and actually have a great and strong relationship with the birthmom who will be involved in his life as a "special aunt" until the time is right for him to know she gave birth to him, which is going to be touchy so I am sure I will be seeking alot of advice on just how to tell him without him being hurt. I will do all I can to protect him. His birthdad never wanted children so that will be touchy also but we did meet him and he is happy with her choice of us as parents. Thanks again and I'll let you know how the book comes out. Jennifer

Hi again Jennifer, I'm so happy you have a good relationship with your child's birthparents. That will be a real gift later in life, for both you and your child. In fact, in your post when you talked about "telling" your child about his birthmom, one of the greatest things about creating a lifebook both BEFORE and AFTER a child is in your family, is that you won't have to "tell" him or her about his birthparents... the lifebook will do all the telling for you-- in the most loving way imaginable! As soon as your child is able to look at the book, share it with him! (I advise you to make a few color copies before hand!!) And as soon as your child is ready to contribute to the book, do a page with him! My daughter's first lifebook was about how we came to adopt her, and we read have been reading this book together over and over and over through the past five years... she absolutely loves it. (It is written like a story book and full of photographs, of course!) And because of this we've never had to have "THE" conversation-- she's always just known it is a part of her life, and she feels good about it because that's how it's been presented--always! Now my daughter is nearly 6 years old and we are working together on the next "volume" so to speak of her lifebook, which is titled "My first 5 years" and we are doing it together. We've now, of course, drifted away from the adoption story, but we still talk about it in a casual way whenever it comes up naturally. Although one thing I still do in her lifebook is every year (on my daughter's birthday) I write a letter to her birthmom (even though I have no idea where to send it--) and this year my daughter and I are going to write that letter together. Has anyone else out there used their lifebook for a conversation starter with your child? Or has anyone considered starting a life book with that purpose in mind (if you haven't yet told your child about adoption)? It might help!!

Rebecca Thanks again and not sure if I mentioned it but his birthmom is even making a lifebook for him to have that will include letters to him, photos and alot of family history. A very dear friend of mine is helping me to create our book for him, she will actually make the pages with graphics and all the good stuff. I'll let you know how it turns out and again hope all is well with everyone Jennifer

Hi Rebecca, Actually I am not adopting, but was wondering if you had ideas on an adoptees journal? I started on after my search came to an end in meeting my birthmother and getting information this year about her. I am still searching though for two sisters, but thought maybe you could answer and give me some ideas on my Adoptee Journal. If you can, email me, because I dont really come here much anymore. email at bottom crystalrose9780@netscape.net Crystal:)

my husband and i have just started our journey into adoption...our homestudy is set for dec. 16th. however, i think this is one of the best ideas and have already started my journal. it really helps me to write things down and it makes me feel more "connected" to our baby and to the whole process. bobbie

Congrats on expecting through adoption! :) If you need any ideas for your journals, or even if still need a journal, please feel free to visit my website, [url]www.MamaBuffaloBooks.com[/url] and see some of the ideas I have in my new journal, Waiting for You: An Heirloom Adoption Journal for My Future Child. Good luck! :)

I wrote (and still write) letters to my children also. I have some from before they were adopted, on the first day we met, on the first time they said "I love you" to me, the first time I scolded them, etc. etc. etc. These will be treasured by them, I'm almost positive!

It seems we're subscribed to many of the same threads and I saw your siggy and decided to take a look. I was really impressed with your website, and I especially enjoyed reading your article from Adoption Week magazine. Congrats! Do you happen to know if all of Jolee's Boutique stuff is safe for scrapping? I love it, but the packages never say if they are safe or not. A few other scrapping questions: how do you organize your kids' albums? do you have an album per kid? for each kid and for the parents? for each year as a family? i'm so perplexed. now she's 18 months old and i just have boxes of photographs! ack! please help. also, can you recommend a good red-eye marker for photos? my husband's point and shoot auto everything camera sucks! thanks! -kirsten p.s. where in wisconsin are you? we go to oconomowac to visit the in-laws every other month. what a pretty state.

Hi Kirsten! Thanks for checking out my web site and your compliments on it! Ironically, I had checked yours out too. I like it! I started something like that for my daughter too and told myself I would have it done before this past Christmas and never did! I like the looks of yours. Congratulations! As for Jolee's stuff, good question! I will contact the manufacturer (EK Success) and let you know what they tell me! I just assumed that they are safe because they are a product of Stickopotamus stickers (also EK Success) and they are safe. But, you know the saying about "assuming" right? :D For each of my two kids (adopted from Guatemala around their second birthday...my daughter is now four and my son was just two in August) I had one album for both of them together. I began their adoptions at the same time and they chronicled my wait and what happened during the process. It features their monthly update photos and pictures that were returned from disposable cameras we sent to the foster families in Guatemala. It has pictures of the foster families and of the places they went in Guatemala. After they came home, I did (and am still in the process of doing for one) a "first year home" album for each of them individually. After that, I'm just doing family albums, and I will make color copies for them if they wish. For red eye markers, I'm sorry, I can't recommend one, so I hope someone else reads your post and is able to help you with that. I've been fortunate to have pictures that turned out really well. When my photos are messed up, it is usually because they are blurry because the kids move so fast and don't sit still for anything! :) Oconomowoc is VERY close to me...about 15 minutes! Take care, and thanks again for your response. Jennifer

I asked a question on some ideas on an adoptees journal for themselves, and everyone seemed to just not even pay it attention. I just wanted some ideas on some things to put in it, besides about the search and then the reunions. HELP! Please! Crystal

In your opinion, does all the info that is put in an adoptee's journal have to be about the adoption? You could always include information about your hobbies, interests, favorites, dreams, goals, career ideas, etc. If you wanted to stay more adoption centered, I think a lot of what you could include would depend on how old you were when you were adopted...how much of a past you had before joining your adoptive family. Also, if your biological family was of a different cultural background, there might be yet other pages you could do to celebrate that. I hope you get some other good advice!

My wife and I adopted back in Sept. 2001 and got to met the birthmom and her mother (the baby's grandma). We took tons of pics of our adoption attorney, the hospital where he was born, and of course the baby. The only regret we have now is that we didn't get any pics of the bmom and grandma. Our son is only 20 mnths old, but we are actively continuing the scrapbook/journal we started when we first started the adoption process. We feel like we have done our son a dis-service b/c of not having pics of his bmom. We do have the 2 digital pics that the attorney sent us before he was born, but we really wish we had more. Our one recommendation is: If you get to meet the bmom, get atleast 5-6 pics of her and as much info about her and her partner as you can. Your child will appreciate it later in life, if he/she tries to find his bmom or bdad.