Grow Ears

December 27, 2005

[font=Book Antiqua]The need for change is, without question, nearly tangible. You can witness it in the chat rooms and here in the forums. The subject of adoption is one of which, for a long time, I did not even touch on in conversation but I can say that it is not something I would ever consider as an option for any of my own children simply due to my own experiences, not because of any particular flaw in the adoption process.... there are so many. However, one facet that all people versed in the subject should be able to agree on is the fact that it is a practice that is needed and can, in fact, be a healthy and healing experience for all involved. The unfortunate aspect is that not all policies are alike in the vast and many, many faceted realm that makes up the adoption arena. At this juncture, though, I will only speak on my own personal experience and opinion in its ramifications affecting children.

Children, at all ages, display their feelings and emotions in one form or another. These intricacies of behavior are well-documented, I'm sure, and can easily be pooled together to establish appropriate policy. The bottom line, as I see it, is that children ARE PEOPLE. Until this is acknowledged by Those Who Push The Pencil nothing will change. Unfortunately, most people have difficulty in admitting that they have been wrong, especially after having fostered, if you'll pardon the pun, or even established poor policy. Part of the problem in dealing with children is that their opinions aren't deemed viable. In my case, I would honestly have to say that at the point that I was adopted, everyone involved was either blind or consciously turned a blind eye to what was a really good or appropriate action to take. I had been shuffled around from family to family being tested out like a used car. By the time I was adopted, I was so used to different people and so well-versed at avoiding establishing feelings for anyone that it was a crime to send me hundreds of miles away from what I had considered to be the closest to home that I would ever get. After a short period of time being in this new home, I was ready to leave. The novelty wore quickly and I voiced my desire to go "home". I was informed that I WAS home and no matter how politely or softly spoken this information may have been divulged, it would change my life forever. My outrageous behavior from that point was never related to anyone's fault other than my own and I was deemed a problem child. Why? Because, by God, we can make this work. We have the tools and the knowledge and the psychiatrists and the drugs... we can make this child be happy and healthy. We won't give up on him. But all the while, who was listening? By that time, I simply mimicked the respect I received. You won't listen to me, I won't listen to you.

I cannot be the only one and it can't be that I was at some magic age or that my situation was just so unique that things just so happened to turn out like that. No way. Right now in this world there are thousands of children who just want to be heard, are so desperate in fact, that, wether you know or will acknowledge does not matter, would actually hurt themselves just to get the attention of an ADULT (you know, the important people with all the power and all the strict rules that we must abide by for the safety of the children). Just to get their attention long enough to say, wether spoken or otherwise, I'M NOT HAPPY. Maybe they want to say something else, but it remains the same that it should be HEARD AND ACKNOWLEDGED.
Kids are people, too.

Josh[/font]