introduction

Hi Laurie! Nice to hear a familiar voice, welcome in here. You shouldn't have waited so long going international .... auw, I felt that, don't hit me! Simon

Although you didn't mention a choice, the Philippines has one of the longest wait times for toddlers and below especially for a girl and if you have no Filipino heritage you slip lower on the priority list for matching.

Hi Simon, Yes, I know ..it is a long story but the main thing was that it took 6 years to get back onto the active domestic waiting list, we waited for 3 years for our son and in our innocence or ignorance assumed it would happen that fast again ..wrong. then we were on the list hoping to be chosen for 4 years! and 2 homestudies later no luck. We considered international in the begining but newly married we could not afford it, then we got our son, who happened to be born with a rare medical condition that has required much travel to far away hospitals and many surgeries (10 major), he had 3 really bad years and we could have lost him a couple times do to surgical complications....it was very crazy for a while then he had a good year and things are mostly fixed and I sat down with my husband and said let's go international, I was 39 and not ready to give up on more children. We looked at all the options and decided on the Philippines for various reasons such as how the child would fit into our school and community, also the fact of the high care giver ratio was very important to me. We decided to request a girl because we knew this was our last child, but we did not know at the time that it would be a longer wait, misinformation (China program girls) anyway our homestudy was done with that information so we stuck with it. We requested a girl 0-4 or twins, girl girl or boy girl and we are willing to take a child that has medical needs. I am now 42 and my heart is still waiting for our next child...in the next year I hope!!My son is 12 and is the most wonderful boy I have ever known :-)All the best

Hi Laurie, We've wasted a few years too but it could've been worse if I hadn't managed to persuade my wife to go for adoption. We have som old friends who got together and got married around the same time as we did, and who also had fertility problems. As chance would have it they actually arrived back home with their 2 year old chinese daughter the very same day we arrived back with our son. The man is a year younger than me while she is 3 years younger than my wife. They've just been told they cannot adopt again because of their ages (47, 41). Its pretty strict here, they had to have a child between 2 and 4 and had they had a 4 year old then they could've been approved for a 3 year old since there's a required natural age difference between siblings and new additions have to be younger. And we'd been trying to persuade them to go for adoption for years.... All in all we've been very lucky but it didn't go quite according to plan. ICAB wouldn't approve us first time around because my wife was still a filippino citizen (not in the rules, but just for us!) so we settled for China. Second time around we requested a boy and got a girl (speciel needs) - the first girl from the Philippines to Denmark in two years. This time we got a boy OK, but had a much longer wait and were even adviced to switch to China a few months before our referral! I wish the different adoption agencies operating in the Philippines got together in an umbrella organisation and got someone working on the inside in ICAB. It really makes me mad to think of all the kids and adopting parents getting old waiting for each other while domestic PAPs get to pick and choose. And they're not all, in our case there's octogenarian grandparents who aren't going to be around forever. 12, ja, time flies. I can't imagine mine being that old although the oldest is already starting to act a bit like a teenager... See you around, somehow I think you're going to be busy this year... Simon

Hello Laurie- I live in abbotsford, B.C. and we have adopted 3 times from the philippines, and also have 2 grown bio children. please don't get discouraged about the wait times, it really does differ greatly from case to case. some postings say things are moving slower than they used to, i personally know of 2 adoptions within the last year, where the matching took 6 to 9 months. they were ready to pick up thier child within 3 months. which isn't that bad.so obviously the wait can really vary. our expierence ( 5 years ago plus) we were matched within 5 mos. and picked up within 3 months. If you do not have alot of restrictions (like age, sex etc) the matching process is usually quicker. just remember , it is worth it, keep the faith and good luck! pam

I don't think there's any doubt, generally the waiting period until referral is getting longer. We waited 6 months the first time in 2001 and 15 months last year. Yes its worth waiting, but what's the point? Both our Filippiner children were in care and given up for adoption from birth. The birth mother has a six month periode in which she can regret but after that? Who's interest is served by the waiting?

absolutly, it certainy seems like there is no benefit, but unforatunatly there is not anything we can do but be patient, and let the process move acording to the rules and regulations of ICAB. i just meant that these children deserve families and love and that it is worth the wait to provide them with that.

Thanks do much for the encouragement as I wait patiently :-) for our little one.LaurieSask, Canada