What is it like??

First of all, it makes me happy that you're adopting from a country that's not as "popular" for adoptions. I'm also taking the road less traveled - I'm adopting from Mali.Check out the Transracial/Children of Color board. There is a lot of good information there. Good luck!

Thanks. I'll be sure to look that up.

For the most part, its the same as raising children of the same race as myself. There is certainly the initial, 'who is this stranger' sensation when your child arrives home. But, that has nothing to do with race and everything to do with the nature of adoption. Criticism? We've encountered occasional racism. But very little criticism. Those who are expressing racism are quite easy to discount and in my experience those who aren't are generally open to learning about adoption in general, regardless of the nature of your adoption. The basics that any child needs transcends race. That doesn't change just because you adopt a child who looks different or even comes from another continent. As a mother of an African child, I do find the challenges to be a lonely road. Afterall, the experience, culture and history of the African American community is not the same thing as that of the African immigrant community. And, yet our children will be required to straddle 3 different worlds as they grow up. We strive to find a balance in teaching our son about the US black experience, about mainstream America and still hold onto his very special and unique heritage of being Mende from Sierra Leone. Because he was much older when he came home and has very distinct and clear memories of Sierra Leone, we honestly don't know if he will more likely identify with the African American experience or the African immigrant experience. Afterall, whatever his memories may be he is very clearly American at this point versus living in an immigrant community and culture.

Thank you for your advice and tips. I will be doing alot of reading in the next few months as several people have recomended books to me. I know that color playes NO part in loving your child, and I'm sure it will not be a problem. Unfortunatly we will not be able to use an agency because there are no agencies working in Rwanda. So we will not have all the councel that others get. I mean i'm sure that there are little things that I need to know like... are there different skincare and haircare products that I may need to use? Those are the little things that as a white mom I may not know about or know what to do. I'm sure I'll learn as I go though. thanks again.----Leah

We didn't adopt from Africa, but we are a different race than our adopted son. We haven't had a lot of criticism, but prep yourself for a TON of inane questions. People generally mean well, but they will ask incredibly prying things in public. Just prepare yourself and it won't be such a shock when it happens. I'm caucasian (blonde) and my son is hispanic/indigenous. I have had the range of questions about what my husband "is," where my son is from, what his nationality is, and whether he's adopted. Again, most people mean well. Good luck on your journey! Kelley

We were posed to switch our domestic to international and we were considering Liberia when our match came though, this wa sthe last one for us before the switch. OUr daughter is a different race so some of your questions are pertinent. I can tell you first hand that I love my daughters the same, biology has nothing to do with love. We have never received any critisim for adopting our AA daughter, but like KellyMac said, lots of stupid questions - some on race, some on adoption. Usually I look at it as an opportunity to teach the person more about the process. Our older daughter was 9 wehn we started the process and she was adamant that we adopt a child of a different race. Well I should clarify that I"m CC, dh is 1/2 NA and dd#1 is 1/4 NA. She didn't want a CC sibling. I don't think race matters to siblings. WE had a lot of talks about questions she should expect to get from peers and we talked about possible bad reactions she might receive, but so far she hasn't heard any. I'm not too naive, I know that my daughter(s) may witness racism as they get older. We talk about it and I've tried to prepare my older one and will do so for my baby as well. I wish you luck --

Thank you guys for your advice. I love hearing about the adoptive experience from those who have done it, are doing it or even are just thinking about it. It helps me to feel like a part of a community and durring the initial stages of adoption where you do not actually have your son or daughter in your arms, that helps to make the waiting more bearable. I am just getting sooo unbelievably excited about this. It's like, for so long we just "talked" about adopting some day and then suddenly, we are actually going to DO it. I just can't wait to see that little face for the first time. I wish that we could start everything right now, but before we can, we need to move to a larger place ( our current one is less than 900 sq ft. and only 2 bedrooms) and let our son Graham grow up a little, ( he is only 4 months). I mean after all I want to be able to offer so much to our new addition and that means at least getting into some sort of schedule with Graham and Zachary before we add another child to our family. Im REALLY EXCITED though and as soon as we feel able, hopefully in less than 18 months well get started. Sorry, I'm rambling. Well anyway, thanks again for the tips and the advice and KEEP IT COMMING please. even if there is someone else out there who is just starting and would like to compare notes and have someone to talk to durring the experience, I'd LOVE that. Oh, by the way can anyone tell me about what a home study is and how it all works? I'm curious about that aspect and am not yet ready to call any agencies about it. Thanks!----Leah

Jackobanzi, Are you in France? If not, where are you? I'm wondering b/c my husband and I lived in Senegal for 2.5 years and we wanted to adopt from Senegal or Mali or Gambia, in order to adopt a Pulaar (Fula) child, as we speak Pulaar and came to know the culture more than any other outside our own. We looked into all 3 countries and were told adoptions to the US were impossible. That of the 3, Mali was the only one who ever had an adoption agreement w/the US, but they don't allow adoptions to the US any more--the few adoptions they do are to French-speaking countries (which in a way I see, but on the other hand, would a couple in Paris know anything about the Pulaars in W. Africa vs. a couple of Americans who lived in a small village there, with them, for 2.5 years??). (Peace Corps, btw). Anyway, I'm just really curious how you are doing it if you are in the US. Please let me know!! Thanks, Teranga