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Not adoption related, but here is a news article I read at lunch (and almost lost while reading it). I found the punishment for a 6 yo just a little extreme. :rolleyes: Any comments?
Boy's suspension in harassment case outrages mother
Seeks new school for son, 6
By Ralph Ranalli and Raja Mishra, Globe Staff | February 8, 2006
BROCKTON -- A 6-year-old boy suspended last week after school officials said he sexually harassed a girl in his class does not understand what he did wrong and should be moved to another elementary school to avoid becoming stigmatized by the incident, his mother said yesterday.
The Brockton school district gave the boy a three-day suspension on Jan. 30 after conducting an internal investigation -- which they forwarded to the Plymouth district attorney's office. Prosecutors, however, have not brought any charges, in part because state juvenile criminal laws do not apply to those under age 7, said prosecutors.
The suspension outraged the boy's mother, Berthena Dorinvil, who said her son is far too young to know the meaning of sexual harassment.
''What is that supposed to mean? He's only 6 years old. I didn't raise my son like this," she said last night in an interview at her home.
Dorinvil said school administrators told her that her son's infraction was to place his hand inside the waistband of a girl's pants, touching the skin on her back.
Though her son's suspension has ended, Dorinvil has kept him out of school and has filed a request with Brockton schools to move him to another elementary school because she feels he would be treated differently at the school he attended, Joseph H. Downey Elementary.
She said the district has declined the transfer request but offered to move him to another class in the same school. She is appealing that decision and plans to keep the child home indefinitely.
Brockton school officials yesterday defended their decision.
''This was done right by the book," said Cynthia E. McNally, a district spokeswoman. ''This was thoroughly investigated."
School district administrators said Brockton schools have for years had among the state's most thorough and progressive policies on student sexual harassment.
''The safety and well-being of Brockton Public School students and staff is of the utmost importance to us and we take all allegations of sexual harassment very seriously," read a statement released yesterday by Brockton School Superintendent Basan Nembirkow. ''Principals are trained to handle these difficult situations and they are assisted, as needed, by the district's sexual harassment officer in handling each situation."
School officials would not comment on the specifics of the boy's case, citing his privacy rights. The boy was not identified because he is a minor. Downey principal Diane C. Gosselin could not be reached for comment.
Dorinvil is a stay-at-home mother who said she has raised her only child in the conservative moral tradition of Haitian evangelicalism.
She and her husband, Philippe, a school bus driver in Boston, do not let their son watch secular television and have signed up for cable so he can watch religious cartoons.
She said Gosselin called her on Jan. 30 to tell her ''my son was in trouble over a girl." At school, where she found her boy in tears, she said she was informed he had violated the school's sexual harassment policy and would be suspended.
The Brockton school district's student sexual harassment policy, drafted in January of 2004, prohibits ''uninvited physical contact such as touching, hugging, patting, or pinching."
School officials refused to disclose which provision of the policy the boy violated.
''It's a situation within the parameters [of sexual harassment], and we're dealing with it within the parameters," said McNally.
The school district forwarded the evidence to Plymouth District Attorney Timothy J. Cruz's office.
A spokeswoman for Cruz, Bridget Norton Middleton, confirmed the office had reviewed the case, but she refused to comment on it. However, she noted that juvenile crimes apply to those age 7 to 17, with younger children exempt.
Dorinvil said her son has said he does not want to return to Downey because they are ''too mean." She said he is confused over the recent turn of events in his life -- and has questions she finds difficult to answer.
''He doesn't even know what that word 'sexual' is. I don't see how I'm going to explain it to him," she said. ''I can't. He's just too young for that."
Copyright 2006 Globe Newspaper Company.
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That school district, like ours, may have a "Zero Tolerance" policy that all students K-12 are required to sign at the start of school each year.
How it is enforced is another matter. My dd had 2 students go to the Principal's office in kindergarten for a kiss (sexual har.) They did not get suspended. Our "zero tolerance" policies are a little more relaxed.
Wow, it is hard to know what to think in such a case, particularly since they don't give all the details because of the privacy rights.
But, it seems to me the mom is inadvertantly punishing the boy more, by changing schools. It isn't likely he'll find any school that isn't 'mean'. Any time my dd gets in trouble at school she declares whatever adult enforced discipline as 'mean', and she freely labels me as 'mean' or 'the worst mom ever' if she doesn't get to do something she wants to do.
My dd has gotten sent to the principal several times, and probably will get suspended sometime this year (at the rate she is going). The principal has called and talked to me, and told me that if my daughter gets suspended I should not go overboard on punishing her for it, the principal thinks being grounded for a week would be plenty.
It seems weird to call inappropriate touching 'sexual harrassment' at the early elementary ages. Though there are young children that act out sexually. My dd had her privates grabbed by a boy when she was little (I forget if it was preschool or kindergarden), and she was still shocked about it when she came to live with me (went into fostercare when she was 7 yrs old). Of course, she might have actually sexual abuse issues that might have been affecting her reaction. She was very happy that the boy that did that to her 'got in big trouble'.
While I don't consider it sexual harrassment, I do consider it completely inappropriate behavior. I wouldn't want my child touched in that way and by 6 years of age, they are old enough to understand that there are boundaries. One doesn't need to understand "sex" to know that you do not put your hands down another person's pants.
I believe suspension for a day would have been more appropriate. He is 6, after all. Yes, he crossed a line and acted inappropriately, but it doesn't make sense to suspend him for so long and so publicly. He's not a rapist or molester and shouldn't be treated as such.
It's interesting how the "zero tolerance" policy differs from state to state, district to district. My dd was threatened last fall by a kid saying he'd like to shoot her with a gun. He got an IN school suspension for 1 day and was still allowed to ride the bus! Hmmmm....
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I guess I'm going by what the mom had said - that her son put his hand inside the girl's waistband and touched the skin on her back. Also, I assumed this was the kid's first and only infraction. Was it inappropriate? Yes. Sexual harrassment - I don't think so. They could have handled it so much better by taking the kid away from the situation and explaining to him that it wasn't appropriate. Of course, if it did happen again, you'd have to rethink the situation. But a 3-day suspension, for a 1st grader, no way.
I do think it's extreme punishment. At that age, they should put any kid who is behaving sexually inappropriately in with a sexual abuse counselor. Usually, kids who are unaware of these kinds of boundaries have been sexually abused. The other part is, what if the little girl just asked him to tuck in her tag or something? Not that that's what happened (I have no clue, hadn't heard anything about this..) but what if it was something entirely innocent and the boy was actually trying to be helpful. I am sad for both the kids involved. They're both going to be stigmatized now regardless of what the innocence or who changes schools.
The mom was on the news tonight saying that her son is upset and gets even more upset when she answers the phone because he thinks she is talking to the newspeople. She also said (if I remember correctly and please correct me if I am wrong) that the girl did something to her son.I, personally, think that the school could have handled the whole thing better.
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I just want to add my 2 cents on the subject of "zero tolerance" and the difference in how it is handled(at least in my area) in regards to boys and girls. I am the mother of 2 daughters and 1 son. We have a school district that preaches zero tolerance for violence, drugs, sexual harrassment ect. I have always thought that would be a great safety net to have and I have to admit that I only thought of my daughters protection in these matters until a few years ago. When my son was in the 5th grade a girl in his class walked up to him very calmly and said "**** and **** think it would be really funny if I kick you in the balls" My son, the class clown just laughed it off. Then she kicked him.(This story was supported by all the kids who were in the classroom at the time) This little girl kicked my son in the groin hard enough to BRUISE him, then she ran and hid because she knew she had done wrong. The school sent him to the nurse and she allowed him to lie down in the clinic till he felt he could go back to class. The school did not feel it necessary to call me so I did not know until I picked him up what had happen and by that time he was really in pain. He had trouble urinating and was swollen to very scary point. He was to embarrassed to tell the school nurse how bad it was. Needless to say, after taking care of him medically I was at the school in a rage over what had happened. The little girl was not suspended, had no detentions, her parents were not called. The answer the school could come up with was to make her apologize to my son in a conference type setting with the principal. I called the school superintindent and was told that I had no say in her punishment and they did not have to tell me what they were going to do to her. I took the matter one step further and went to the childs home with the school resource officer and talked with her father(the first he had heard of it).That got the results I wanted. I wanted the child to understand how serious something like that can be and I know her parents at least seemed to care that she got the message even if the school did not. It was sad that zero tolerance did not apply to this type of situation. If the role were reversed and my son had hurt a little girl or touched any part of her anatomy that could be considered sexual he would have been run out of town on a rail. I would be considered a bad parent for not teaching my son more proper behavior. If there is going to be "zero tolerance", there should be the same guidelines across the board. I dont think that really exists so we all have to do what we can to look out for our own child. My son is in 8th grade now and none the worse for wear but he did wear his baseball "cup" to school everyday for the rest of 5th grade and all of 6th grade. I guess you can never be to careful.
Kitti
Kitti
It was sad that zero tolerance did not apply to this type of situation. If the role were reversed and my son had hurt a little girl or touched any part of her anatomy that could be considered sexual he would have been run out of town on a rail. I would be considered a bad parent for not teaching my son more proper behavior. If there is going to be "zero tolerance", there should be the same guidelines across the board.
Kitti
Case vs. Brockton boy stuns officials
Educators debate 'harassment' case
By Tracy Jan and Kathleen Burge, Globe Staff | February 9, 2006
A 6-year-old Brockton boy's suspension on accusations of sexual harassment startled some school officials in the region yesterday; the officials said they avoid the words ''sexual harassment" when trying to teach young children about appropriate touching.
School systems, by state law, must have policies barring sexual harassment, but officials from Boston, Arlington, Framingham, East Taunton, and Duxbury said they could not recall an instance in which they had punished a child that age for such an incident.
In addition, it was excessive for the school system to suspend the child, said a former state Department of Education official, Nan D. Stein, who developed the state's first curriculum for addressing sexual harassment in schools.
Officials should have addressed the issue in a way easier for 6-year-olds to understand: by telling the boy that rules required him to keep his hands to himself, said Stein, who developed the curriculum in 1979. ''We shouldn't be labeling it sexual harassment," she said. ''They don't understand it."
Even if the boy had repeatedly touched the girl, it was ''outrageous" for school officials to refer the case to the district attorney's office, Stein said.
Stein is now a senior research scientist at the Center for Research on Women at Wellesley Centers for Women.
A spokeswoman at the Plymouth County district attorney's office, Bridget Norton Middleton, said yesterday that no charges will be filed because touching is not a criminal matter. The Brockton first-grader was suspended for three days Jan. 30, after school officials said he had put his hand inside the waistband of a girl's pants and had touched the skin on her back, said his mother, Berthena Dorinvil. But she said her son had told her that the girl had touched him first and that he had responded by touching her over her clothes, not on her skin. Dorinvil said the boy had not been in trouble before.
Although the suspension is over, Dorinvil has kept her son home from school while she waits for the school system's response to her request for a transfer to another school. Brockton school system administrators did not return repeated calls seeking comment yesterday.
Reached at home last night, Dorinvil said that she has a meeting with Brockton Public School officials today and that they have promised to try to accommodate her by transferring her son to a new school.
Reached yesterday, Ronald Dobrowski, a member of the Brockton School Committee, said he could not discuss the details of the case because it would violate the boy's confidentiality.
He also declined to talk about whether he agreed with the school's decision to suspend the boy or whether the child should be allowed to transfer to another school.
''We do have a policy that has been in place for a couple of years talking about sexual harassment. From what I understand, all the steps have been followed," Dobrowski said.
Many states began requiring their schools to create sexual harassment policies after the US Supreme Court decided in 1992 that schools can be sued for monetary damages if they ignore sexual harassment.
Massachusetts requires all school systems to prohibit sexual harassment, but it allows school systems to design their own complaint and punishment policies.
Many schools teach children about inappropriate touching starting in kindergarten, but they do not define sexual harassment for young children.
Instead, elementary principals said, schools use pictures and puppets to teach children to keep their hands to themselves and to tell someone if a classmate or adult touches them in an area that makes them uncomfortable, whether it is on the back or in a private area.
School officials more commonly equate inappropriate touching to bullying, rather than to the expression ''sexual harassment."
''I don't believe that this 6-year-old really understands the concept of sexual harassment," said Joan Vodoklys, principal of Miriam F. McCarthy Elementary School in Framingham.
Instead of suspension, Vodoklys said she would have first contacted the parents, and then would have asked a social worker or counselor to speak with the boy about his intentions.
But Anna Weselak, National Parent Teacher Association president, said that school systems should educate all students about what sexual harassment can entail and that 6-year-olds are old enough to understand what it means to make someone uncomfortable.
In Boston, first-graders at F. Lyman Winship Elementary School learn to keep one another at arms' length and to use words, rather than to touch, when with classmates, said the school's principal, Antonio Barbosa.
Barbosa said that the school follows the system's six-page sexual harassment policy and that it would treat all incidents seriously. He also said, however, that he cannot recall an instance of a young child sexually harassing a peer.
In the Boston Public Schools, students can be suspended or expelled for harassment, defined as possibly including inappropriate touching, massages, catcalls, whistles, patting, squeezing, or spanking.
''We take these things extremely serious these days, whereas years ago, people might not have thought of touching as having a sexual connotation," Barbosa said. ''We want to make sure children respect one another and that they don't get in each other's personal space."
Stephen Carme, principal of John A. Bishop Elementary School in Arlington, said he agreed that elementary school principals have had to pay more attention in recent years to behavior that could be interpreted as sexual harassment, but he said that using the term ''sexual harassment" only escalates the problem.
''This is something educators have had to deal with to make sure children understand how serious things are," Carme said. ''A first-grader might say, 'Well, I didn't mean anything,' but you have to get them to understand how others might have taken it and put them in the other person's shoes."
Tracy Jan can be reached at tjan@globe.com; Kathleen Burge at kburge@globe.com.
Copyright 2006 Globe Newspaper Company.
Just FYI... if this was the case, then every time you let your little one wear cool, princess or action hero underwear, you are inviting sexual harassment. But, do we believe that it is sexual hasarrment for a child to want to show her friend her Beauty and the Beast underwear? And, if another child misses seeing it and pulls her waistband to get a look at what she has shown, is that an attack? Doesn't some of this border on ridiculous? I can not believe any child has ever been scarred by something so innocent. Aren't we as adults projecting our fears onto the innocent acts of children. They have no shame and no sexual behaviors. Isn't that the beauty of being children?
Now, as for the 5th grade child who was kicked. That was a physical attack and even if done in ignorance of the implications, was serious enough to warrant suspension, IMHO. I applaude you for going to that parent!
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When I first read the article, I didn't know what to think. And to be honest, we don't have all the details and probably never will.
However, we must remember that not all first graders are innocent. My second grade daughter knows more about sex than my 14 year old. So, to say it is all innocent play is wrong. I don't know if it is "sexual harrassment" if my daughter's playmate wants to show her his underwear, but it is highly innappropriate. And given my daughter's background, I would be livid and the school would be seeing one upset momma. And I would want to be assured that that boy never did it again.
I am most certainly not saying it should not be addressed. I do not agree that it is always "meant" to be inappropriate even though it should be addressed that it is for future occasions. But, is it "harassment?" I simply do not think so and would not believe that is was, though I agree that warning children that the behavior is not acceptable is ok, to turn it into something like harassment scars both children involved.