Talking politics & religion - sort of.

" I've actually had nightmares about members of my birth family being homophobes, racists or bigots. As much as I want to get to know them, hanging with a group of KKK'ers or White Power types is not something I'd be doing anytime soon.?. Now THERE's a nightmare!

I said yes to both, but it's more like 80 percent. My mother over the years has become more and more hostile to organized religion and I'm more religious than she is. I belong to a Reform Temple and my dad prefers more traditional services (so do I, frankly, but I'm not going to drive 90 minutes to get to one). I usually vote the same way as my parents, but my views are, in some ways, less liberal than theirs, but I will gladly vote for someone more liberal than I am, rather than someone more conservative. Elizabeth, how is it possible to keep something like your conversion a secret from your parents? I'm just wondering about the logistics when your DD is older talks about going to synagogue or her bat mitzvah or attending a seder.

Yeah, Spay, the great conundrum. I tried really hard to tell my mother a few years ago. I thought I could, given that she'd converted from a protestant religion to Catholicism when she married my father. I love my parents dearly, but this topic is not one that I can broach - well, I could, but I'm not willing to deal with the consequences. The fact that they live in south Florida and I live in the frigid upper midwest makes it logistically less difficult. My dad is 81 and in very poor health. I will be able to tell my mother someday.

I am more like an amplified version of what my parents believed. They are religious, but I am more about living what I believe--and have challenged them to do the same. Also, I am more of a traditionalist which affects both my religious and political views.My parents never really paid much attention to politics (with the sole exception of the presidential race) because they saw public policy as something that they could not change of affect. However, I vote issues rather than parties. Mostly, it is individual issues that we part on (albeit important, individual issues), such as the environment and the like. They see the destruction of the planet as a necessary evil that cannot be stopped and I see it...well, differently.

My parents are right wing, ultra conservative Republicans. They vote straight party lines without fail. Couldn't care less about what the person running's platform is, just what their party affiliation is. I am very liberal, but I will vote for who I think will do the best job. I am sure that there's not one election that we have voted the same...I was raised in a very conservative Methodist Church. As a young adult, I left the church because my mother was no longer able to force me to go every Sunday. As I got older, I realized that the teachings were there for me - I had listened and heard all of the sermons - whether I had wanted to or not - and felt at peace with my childhood religion. My dh and children and I attend a Methodist Church now, although it's not NEAR as conservative as the one I grew up in.

The political and religious values were important but not a deal breaker. We wrote about our convictions or the lack thereof in our profile and anticipated that a pbmom wouldn't want to talk to us if she felt differently. We ended up with a great match values-wise. If anything, bmom was a little more conservative than us...but not so much that we couldn't have meaningful discussions and find common ground.

I marked "a little of both". My parents brought me to church as a kid but I discovered myself what a realationship with Christ meant to me. As far as political views, I came from a political family. Most Concervative Republicans. My dad is probably more of a Libertarian ("Socially tollerant, Fiscally concervative). I am Independant I guess, perhaps lean toward Nationalist. I don't agree with many of the agenda's of the 2 major parties. I look at what I feel is best for our country financially and for our citizens. My parents were pretty accepting of any path me and my brothers were willing to take. MJ

religion: hmmm. baptized episcopalian, and identify as such, but I'm not the kind of episcopalian mom is. Started going to church again with dd's birth. before that I was married in a unitarian church and that was pretty much the last time I set foot in one, lol. Dad's a baptist (not sure how the two of them could possibly be together). I just don't get all the swaying and singing of black baptists. been too long in the episcopal church and we don't move, except to kneel and stand. No swaying allowed, and certainly no "Amen!" said out loud ;) . politics: Mom was a raging liberal who has grown conservative in a very scary way. something about old age I guess...Anyway, I was raised as a liberal progressive and I still am, even more so. I'm now part of a church that embraces that. The thing is that I'm more of an activist that my parents. I was concerned that dd's bfamilies know exactly who we were: we're very liberal progressives but with a bit of a conservative streak when it comes to how to raise a child. we're rather strict I think, when it comes to some aspects of upbringing. I tried to communicate those values in our info about ourselves, and when on the phone talked about that. Turns out they were concerned about the "california" thing, lol. we californians are subject to some serious stereotypes. I do think manners are key, treating others including adults with respect is key, a number of other values that we shared (first call was 2.5 hours long, lol). we are similar in thinking abou a number of things, though I think we differ on the subject of abortion (haven't brought it up though-so bgrandma may be personally antiabortion but prochoice). We've sent pictures of dd at anti bush rallies and in her Kerry for prez shirts to bfamilies and they appreciated her/our activism. it would be hard for me to be matched with a very conservative bfamily unless they knew in advance my politics and didn't mind. I'd want them comfortable knowing that dd will be raised in our political beliefs. Religious beliefs not so important, but again they'd need to know that dd would be raised as an episcopalian and a progressive one at that. who knows where she'll end up in her own political beliefs, but I'll consider myself a parenting failure if I'm not raising a progressive ;) .

Interesting thread - whoever said you can't discuss religion and politics, lol. Religion: raised Catholic (mom's religion, dad was a Methodist) but haven't practiced it really, since high school. Consider myself now more of a secular humanist. My wife practices Buddhism. We have a large extended family and the kids are exposed to a variety of faiths, having attended baptisms, confimations, bar/bat mitzvahs and first communions. We are raising them to be accepting of all religions and beliefs. Politics: my dad was from the Midwest, had a career in the Navy and was politically conservative. Mom is a died in the wool Dem from Kennedy Land. I would call my own political beliefs progressive - I am anti-war, pro social programs. I believe that the current Administration is failing the American people miserably.

Interesting poll there, i have not given this much thought before, so here is my chance i guess :cool: I was raised in a french-canadian catholic family so obviously at the minimum i do share a certain cultural leaning and religious upbringing. As for politics, i am a more classic conservative ( more northeastern "liberal" conservative if i were in the US) but reasonably open minded about many issues. More like a social liberal ( depending on what issues) and fiscally conservative. In Canada, i am definitely a proud Conservative red Tory. Glad that Steven Harper is our Prime-Minister now!!! :cool: So in a certain sens i would say i do share certain political beliefs of my parents, but only to a certain extent. I am also my own person too so, it can't just be a copy-cat of other beliefs. The funny thing about religious beliefs is that my birthmother had only one request when she decided for adoption, that i would be raised by a catholic family. I find that rather amusing ( not as in 'making fun of' but rather surprised in the pleasant sens i guess), so i am lucky that i don't have to reconcile two-different cultures i would be trying to maintain. I view heritage as two-sided. I want to retain my irish catholic heritage that my birthmother has, even if she didn't raise me, and i also want to preserve my french-speaking heritage from my adoptive parents. Seems like the right thing to do: we all herite and transmit values from the past and the present and only by recognizing this can I, as an adoptee feel at ease about different cultural influences in my life. Hope that makes sens. :) Marc-Andr

Mom and dad were conservative politically... a little hypocritical in their religious beliefs because they sent their children to Sunday school, but never attended themselves. I always thought of church as a babysitting service so my parents could have a quiet Sunday morning by themselves. My son... in reunion I found that he was brought up Catholic but not very strictly. Then I found out he voted Conservative... first angry words - from him, not me! :rolleyes: Me... I vote for anything 'green'. I love science and want answers to everything that's happening on our planet. Not enough for me to believe that G** is going to save our souls when the water is gone and the air is too dirty to breathe. I think I'm more of a buddhist, vegetarian, tree-hugging liberal than my parents. :cool:

I don't share my parent's values.. either one. First of all.. I HATE politics! Until, Micky Mouse runs for President, I wont ever vote again. lol And religion.. thats a touchy subject. I just have a different opinion than what I was taught growing up.

[font=Lucida Sans Unicode]Dealing with religion ---I definately don't go along with my parents. Went to church for Easter and Mother's day but that was it. My parents showed us different religions and we went from there. Now my mom has become religious and has made a few comments that we have agreed to disagree about what religion is to us.[/font][font=Lucida Sans Unicode]Politics -- I tend to lean with my Grandmother on that. Not everly voiced about politics but we know enough to defend our positions.[/font]

Well, I'm not old enough to vote - but I do have political views and they are not like my parents at all. I am much more liberal than they are. It can become really heated around here, especially since I am hugely in opposition to the current war and they support it. I have an anti-war button on my backpack that Ive agreed to remove if they would take off their car sticker. So far, we havenҒt yet. I havent discussed was with my birth dad but it appears that they both seem to share my liberal outlook on life.

My adopted mom was raised Methodist and she converted to Pentecostal. My adopted Dad was raised Baptist ( i think). I went to church with amom when i was a preteen and I was turned off by the whole speaking in tongues thing. I didn't understand it and still do not and still have no desire to learn about it. So I guess you could say I rejected her Church. But I'd say I am non-denominational. And I think they are both cons. repub. and I am more middle of the road.