How was your hospital stay?

I was in hospital about a week having gone in the morning I went into labour. He was born about 3 hours although I didn't see him straight away (my choice) although I did spend some time with him a day or two later. I was ill after having my son so the next time I asked to see him I was told I was too ill to see him. The only member of my family who saw him was my sister. The whole time I was in hospital I was allowed to be in a room in on my own. Pip :flower:

I was left in the delivery room on my own. No painkillers, no "oxygen". I was told "don't scream". The doctors & nurses went next door to the "married" lady who was screaming & helped her. I had been advised by the obstetrician not to deliver in the "stranded beetle" position. I was forced to do this by the nurses. I broke my back in 2 places & dislocated my pelvis. Still no pain relief. Just after he was delivered, one of the nurses picked up my son & said "Oh, he'll make someone a beautiful baby!". I asked to hold my son & look at him. They said "why?" I insisted & they gave him to me to hold. He looked straight into my eyes &, at that moment, I loved him. I was in the "unmarried mothers" ward with other "naughty women" who had got pregnant whilst unmarried. At least we were all together. I had my son in a cot next to my bed. I fed him, bathed him, changed his diapers, hugged him & rocked him to sleep for 10 days. At the end of that, my parents turned up. They took me & my son from the hospital. I thought we were going home (stupid!). We went to a strange house. It was there that I met the adoption social worker that my mum had been seeing for the 1st time. I was told to leave my son there. I was really naive. I thought that this was what happened to all unmarried mothers (they had to leave their babies at a foster mother's house). I went back to my parents' house without my child. The next day I went back to work..... What happened afterwards is a long story but, one nervous breakdown later & total betrayal by my parents & siblings, I gave up my son for adoption aged 5 months.... I never saw him again until 30 years later when he contacted me & we finally reunited. Was it a good experience? No. I have lived through earthquakes, seen friends die in front of my eyes, been poor & out of work etc, but never again in my life have I ever had such a traumatic & disturbing experience. That was back in the "bad old days" in the early 1970s. Those in control still had Victorian attitudes. I never got over it.

I was unmarried and 17 when I went into labor. The hospital (or the adoption agency, I've never been sure which) put me on the Maternity Ward, but at the far end, way away from anyone else. They posted a huge QUARRANTINE sign on the outside of my door, so that nobody would 'accidentally' stumble across the bad girls' room. I asked to see my baby a few hours after his birth, and the head nurse howled with laughter. I had to threaten not to sign the relinquishment papers if she didn't bring him to me. She was hateful, and I called her Nurse Ratchitt. They all made me feel like the scum of the Earth for being there. It was the icing on the cake for the whole 'situation'. Tammi

I was going to hospital for stress test, to listen to my baby's hearbeat as I had toxemia and one day while getting the strees tests, her heartbeat stopped and they decided to to an emergency C section. At 16:48pm, April 17/84, K was born. she was in intensive care and I insisted on being taken there and my bed was wheeled right into the nursery and I put my hand into her incubator,she was crying and she stopped. I loved her from the miniute I laid hands on her. 3 months later, I relinquished her.............and my life became a shut down hell and it took a lot of work for me to get through the pain of her adoption. Now, I have her in my life again. But I never forgot her day of birth and how she knew it was me and my hand and my voice soothing her when she was mere hours old... Shelley.

I know I've written about my hospital stay before...but it was awhile back and I'm sure it's lost in the black hole of the forums by now. I had my first real contraction on the stroke of midnight the day I was due. My daughter was exactly on time! I waited around at home for 5 hours or so making sure that what I felt was really labor (as if one could really deny labor pain) and while I finished packing my bags and gathering up all I would need I timed my contractions and woke up my parents and we drove in the wee small hours to the hospital where labor was confirmed. I had even brought a basket of cookies and chocolate for the nurses, doctors and techs that would be coming in and out of my room to keep the mood bright and happy (it worked- we were a popular room and never had to wait for anything)! The adoptive parents had said that they always wanted to be woken up in the middle of the night to rush to the hospital as if THEY were the ones that were going to give birth to a baby, so I called them (to their annoyance it seems :( ) after I had settled in and before the sun had risen. Several hours later they showed up and we hung out awhile. I was hooked up to a monitor and my daughter's heartbeat was played over the speaker the whole time I was in labor. Adoptive family came in and out, a few friends of mine came and left as I needed them and my immediate family (especially my mother) stayed for the long haul. It wasn't a very private labor, but after the epidural I was comfortable enough to entertain my guests (until labor became too much for the epidural anyway). After 16 hours of labor I started to push and my daughter would NOT budge! I must not have been blessed with child bearing hips for after 3 hours of pushing I was prepped for an impromptu c-section. I was so frustrated, but so relieved to recieve even more powerful pain killers and take a quick break before finally meeting my daughter! My mom and I made it into the ER and a few minutes later my daughter was born. The first thing the doctors did when they saw her was say "WOW-SHE'S HUGE!" I was thinking to myself, "Oh, so it IS a girl-yea!" Her little cry sounded just like a bell and when they put her on my chest for me to hold she stopped crying, looked at me and smiled. I know, I saw her (and I've got a great picture of it). I had complications during the surgery, so they wheeled my daughter to the nursery to get her newborn checkup and the put me to sleep without any warning to try and put everything back together...I woke up and we went back to recovery where I was the first to hold my daughter (again). The birthfather hadn't bothered to show up all those 19 hours until I had gone back into the OR, so while I was in surgery he terrorized my family (along with his mother) and then he came into recovery for a quick photo-op with just the three of us for my daughter in the future. I'm glad we did it, but he wasn't sincere and only was hurtful...but at least we have a picture of all of us smiling- that's what counts! Well...the next few days are a blur. My daughter roomed in with me and while I was confined to my bed (dr's orders) she slept on my chest and I held and fed her (both bottle and breast) and we bonded. She was such a brave baby. She didn't cry when they'd come to take blood from her and she wouldn't throw a fit if a stranger came to pick her up. In retrospect I wouldn't have as many visitors as I did. My reasoning was that most of the people in my life would have only one chance to meet her (and I was right) but it doesn't matter if all of my church friends did. They would have been just as happy with pictures. Likewise, the adoptive family and all their extended members and friends have my daughter's entire LIFETIME to spend with her, so I should have said "You have 1 hour to visit on such-and-such day and then we'll see you at the Entrustment (placement) Ceremony." If I had it all to do over again at the hospital I would have kept her all to myself and only allowed my family and a select 1 or 2 helpers in to see me on an as-need basis. That was my only time with my daughter where I was her only mom and we were just "us." I wish I would have kept it more to myself since I don't have any of that time now. Ah well, at least I can share it with others who might do the same thing I did. After 3 days we were discharged and I got in my car with my daughter. I didn't want to leave the hospital empty handed. I was a real mom and she was my daughter and we left together. I spent a few fleeting hours with my daughter at my home- just the two of us. We took some pictures and then we got ready for the entrustment ceremony. A few family friends came to help, the adoptive couple was there and my pastor and his wife came to officiate the ceremony with my caseworkers. Me and my parents had written the ceremony...it kind of resembled a wedding and a funeral. I wrote a poem for the occasion, my pastor read scripture and said a few words, and then my daughter changed hands. Prior to the ceremony I was required to sign the relinquishment papers in a back room of my house. My parents, the adoptive parents (whom I made watch) and the caseworkers were all there as I cried the hardest I have ever cried in my life as I held my daughter in one hand and the pen in the other. This whole thing is an experience that is getting fuzzier with time as my mind starts to defend its self by blocking the most painful experiences of my life. I'm glad to share what I can with those who might gain something from my experience and I wish I had a birthmother to tell me things like this before I went through them. Hopefully someone somewhere will be able to take what I've learned and shape it to their plan.