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I didn't want to post this in the other thread, as it is a rather different idea. My concern has been with the (for the most part) silence on adoption as an option for Catholic infertile couples.
While unsuccessfully ttc for several years, I tried to find guidance from Catholic sources. What I heard was either (a) don't use these methods of IF treatment OR (b) pursue these Church approved methods of IF treatment. We wasted too much time, energy and money ttc that could have been better spent pursuing adoption.
I know that some other church groups actively promote adoptions, particularly from the foster care system. While that may not be the answer for everyone, I think it could be for some.
I hope this doesn't sound bitter. I'm very happy to have "moved on" from ttc to pursuing adoption. I just think of how many other couples would benefit from a gentle nudge in this direction.
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Hi KimI am sorry to hear you feel the church has not been overly supportive of adoption as an option to building familiy. I, personally, have found great support and blessing from people in my church about adoption. i post on a Christian Women's Website, dealing with IF, Loss, and Adoption. PM me if you would like the info. Hope your journey through adoption is short and sweet!!
I think it can be assumed that anyone still purposefully ttc is at least remotely knowledgeable about adoption as an option and not yet ready to discuss it. Honestly, so many people ttc are (understandably) going through very strong emotions of sadness and grief and anger... which are not helped by many of the infertility treatments. I wouldn't ever say to someone who said she was struggling ttc, "Well, you know you can adopt!" I would think the least I'd get would be a look of death. Do you believe this would have been your honest response? And if so, would you still say that you wanted to hear it? (Those are not rhetorical questions but genuine discussion points.)
My experience has been very similar to sohocas. We were told what we weren't supposed to do, and were given novenas to pray by our parish priest, but never once was adoption even broached with us, not even in a remotely, btw, have you ever thought about adoption as a possible option for you. Lady Bugz does have a good point though -- during those 15 years of ttc, we had one goal in mind, and well, it never happened. And I'm not really sure whether I would have even heard it then, but at least it could have been given to me as an option. It took a hysterectomy to shake me out of my ttc stuper to realize that there were other option available, and that's when we started looking into adoption. We have moved passed our grief, and are looking forward to becoming parents through open adoption. I just wish the Church would do more to help couples like us, as well as those facing unplanned pregancies who may believe their only option is abortion.
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