Leap of faith?

March 15, 2006

Hi all: My husband and I are currently looking at a boy from the WA state foster care system. We've gathered a lot of information, but still have some questions before we agree and start transition. Our placement specialist (we went with a private agency) said that we will probably not get the answers to some of our questions. He said that really we just need to make a decision based on what we have and make a leap of faith? For those of you who have finalized... did you have questions before placement or did you "leap" and hope for the best with the information you had gathered?

joskimo

March 15, 2006

all adoptions take a leap of faith, but if this is a child already in the fostercare system then there is information available and should be provided to you. Failure to do so is neglegence on the part of the agency.

I don't mean to sound harsh, but I've made 2 friends on these boards who adopted thru the state, both disrupted and while I can understand the disruption, it wouldn't have happened if the families knew what to expect and could make educated decisions and preparation. Disruption can be so hard on these kids who have already had a tough go anyways.

I think you need your agency to be advocating for you with the state agency.

best of luck in the process -

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jadasfostermom

March 16, 2006

Hi,

I would agree. DHR, or whatever they are called in your state, should have information on the child. If a child is in foster care, they HAVE information and that information should be shared with you if you are considering adoption.

I had a foster to adopt placement disrupted. When we made the decision to accept the child, the agency also told us that they had very limited information. As time progressed, we learned that they had limited information because they did not ask the right questions. And we also learned that they had information that they did not disclose to us.

Had DH and I had the information prior to accepting the child, we would have likely said no. Because the information that they had revealed that she had a TON of family and they were not going to allow her to be adopted. So 6 months into it, she is removed from our home and placed with her maternal grand aunt. We think it is absolutely wonderful that she is with family, that is in her best interest. But again, had we know the full facts of the situation beforehand, LOTS of pain and hurt could have been avoided on both sides.

So ask questions, and be wary if they are hesitant or reluctant to provide you with any information.