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I had the same thing happen to me. My mother has fostered over 100 babies in my life time and this one baby came to her and I immediately had this happen which was strange to me. It had never happened before except 10 years prior when I had my son and breastfed him. I had fallen in love with this little girl like my own. I just thought maybe this was Gods way of telling me he sent me a child. We had been trying to have a baby after our son for so long and had given up. Never had thought about adopting from foster care. This continued to happen ever time I was around her. So we started the process and made her a part of our family. She is now 5 and perfect in every way. Strangely even looks like me and my mother. It's a bond I will never be able to explain to people and am glad to know I am not alone in this experience. Thankfully I never produced milk. I didn't try breastfeeding her, but I never leaked milk either. After a few weeks that feeling went away but my bond with her did not.
I have debated posting this because I dont want to be attacked and really, to be honest, its quite embarrassing!!! :eek: But I figure I can't be the only one this has happened to. :confused: I have fostered two infant babies full time before, 6+ years ago and never had this issue. This baby I am RESPITE for her grandma and have her a day here and there (maybe 25% of the time). I adore her, love her to bits BUT I LOGICALLy know she is not "mine". She is NOT a preadoptive placement, we were NOT looking to either foster or adopt - it just happened, and we are helping out her grandma. I dont feel entitled to parent her, and although all things being equal I know I could certainly "BE" a mother to her, I know (at least logically) I am NOT.The problem is when she is with me I have a STRONG physical reaction to her. I havent breast fed in 5 years and yet when she is with me I feel perpetually in a state of "let down". If you have breastfed you know what I mean - that painful, achy feeling of NEEDING to feed your baby. I hate it! :rolleyes: It hurts! And obviously I am not breastfeeding her. Within an hour of her going home it stops, and I feel physically "normal" again.I dont know why this is happening - but I have had some possible thoughts ... she looks EXACTLY how I pictured my "biological daughters" for all those years BEFORE having my blond - blue eyed biological boys. Could it be a unconscious psychological reaction to those "dreams" of parenting a daughter, that I thought I had let go to? Is it because she is happiest being held in "that" position while she sleeps? Or am I losing my mind and should immediately quit fostering? :eek:
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