Advertisements
I have been working fulltime since my son was 12 weeks old. He is now seven. I took off maternity leave when we adopted our beautiful daughter. But I went back to work when she too was 12 weeks old. Now she is 15 months old. I work because I have too. Unfortunately in this day and age, one income families are hard to find. It's ok though. I find myself enjoying work (adult interaction, intelligent stimulation etc). But the guilt I feel sometimes...UGH! My daughter has always been a mama's girl (same with my son). But lately she seems to be going through seperation anxiety. She will NOT let me out of her sight. If she can't see me, she cries hysterically. She won't go to my husband. She won't go to her brother. She only want mama. Then of course my son wants my attention too. He is pulling me in one direction. My daughter is crying for me in the other direction. OH NO!! There is only one of me. "Calgon take me away".... LOL! Ok, at least I vented. Thanks for listening to me. :)
Like
Share
Do not feel guilty. Everything you described also sometimes happens with stay at home Moms. My daughter for instance is a stay at home Mom and her two kids do her the exact same way. It is a phase and it will get better. It is not the quanity of time you spend but the quality of time. Make your time together special...someday you will be able to give someone advice on this same topic..perhaps your own daughter.
Advertisements
sounds like you have your hands full. maybe if you make special dates to just hang with your daughter, you know, girl time, she'll feel a tad better. I went thru that separation anxiety many times with my mom for 18 years, lol. it's hard to share, plus there's so much happening for a 7 year old, of course she wants to share with you. she's probably not so amused at the 15 month old who wants your time now too. the cute baby was one thing, the toddler is another ballgame I suspect.
at her age I was totally not amused by my dad taking time with mom. I sat between them to make them stop being together, lol. must have been fun ;) .
when I worked I felt guilty being away from dd and enjoying the conversation. now as a sahm, i'm feeling guilty about wanting a weekend away from dd. I suspect guilt is what we moms eat for lunch and dinner. Guys, now that's interesting. I don't think my husband's felt guilt about these things, lol.
hang in there. :grouphug:
lisa
My kids do the same things and I need a Calgon also! I am a SAHM and find if frustrating at times and also at times feel guilty that I don't bring in money. Each way has it's pros and cons.
I guess the thing that gets me with today's society is there are a lot of people that want stuff. They can't do without. There is more SAHM's that you may think! I met one woman who downsized her home (moved) so that she could stay home.
We don't buy brand new cars or have tons of cable or tons of toys or videos. We use the library. Half the time my kids don't even play with the toys I do get. Rocks, dirt, blocks, etc. is what they like.
So I guess I challenge you to just look at what you do have and see if you really "need" it. Maybe you really could stay home. Sometimes (not all the time, of course) it's more doable than you may think!
Good Luck
Advertisements
Understand...I have to work, too. My child is almost three but he went through very similiar behaviors a little later (around 17 or 18 months)...sometimes he still does. He would go through the seperation anxiety when I would drop him off at daycare, which made me feel like the worst mom in the world...my heart felt ripped apart from me!! When he was three months, it was a little easier because he didn't have that separation anxiety and didn't have the words to back it up. I guess my guilt caused me to spend every waking hour showering attention on my lil' one. I don't have as much guilt anymore because I know that the house may be messier than a lot of people and the laundry may not get folded quickly - but I know that I gave my son all the attention when I was with him..."quality not quanity" helped me. I must say that I felt the most guilty when my son was your child's age and a little older...it does get better, really. After that said....today my son was REALLY crying when I dropped him off and looked at me with these sad, big brown eyes...so this morning ended up making the whole day feel guilt-filled. So, it does still come, just not as often...keep it up, it will get better but you may still have the moments like I did today. We just have to shower our child with so much attention when we are with our child...I can't even begin to tell you how many hugs and kisses I give me child each day. It's as if I never see him, ever.
Just a thought -
I've been where you are and I know how you feel;
I have worked fulltime since I was 17 and continued to work fulltime after we adopted dd - I was 36 then and took the 6 months compensated time off and went back to work fulltime -
Suddenly at age 45 with a 9 year old child, I took some life inventory -
Long story short, I have reached an agreement with my employer of 8 years to let me work around dd's school hours; ie I see her off to school in the morning, see her at lunch, am home or pick her up from school at pm dismissal.
This will cut my income a bit, but also reduce daycare cost to nil, and the benefits are enormous, and I think it will work.
Maybe you could take an inventory too? Is there any way to combine your job / need for an income with being home with your kid(s)?\
Being a SAHM isn't an option for everyone. I think I would miss the adult interaction, and I think dd would miss the interaction with friends, (she is an only child), but in doing my 'inventory' I came up with a solution that works -
I do wish I had worked only part time while dd was younger. Hindsight is 20/20. I am taking steps to make up for lost time.
HTH
Babs
It's a relatively small company, 35 employees. One other employee recently asked to reduce his work week to 4 days rather than 5, they are somewhat accommodating him. (He is a refrigeration tech, summer season is extremely busy, so his timing is kind of bad). Other than that, flexible time isn't something the company offers employees. I didn't get exactly what I wanted in writing my proposal to my employer - I was hoping they'd hire someone full time to take over some of my job duties, telephone reception, filing, preparing quotations, etc. so that I could devote my 5 or 6 hours a day to scheduling work orders and inventory management, purchasing, etc. Didn't work out that way. However, I'm thinking my part-time role will evolve just as my full-time role did. I'm just glad that they heard my request to reduce my hours, and I guess my job description will remain whatever they want it to be; I'm not management so I can only do as much as they want me to do.
I'm curious to know if any realtors would weigh in on this - seems to me that realtors can choose their own hours for the most part, and probably work from home a good deal as well - anyone out there?
Babs
Advertisements