Its a crap shoot wheter you adopt or give birth. For any parent whether bio or not to just think thast this child WILL end up like great aunt gerties is doing a diservice to the child.
Other then the actual inherited abilities....music, athletics ect it really does depend...IMO...on how those traits are devolped and accepted while the child is growing.... ---dpen6
I fully agree. I also think that because a person has an open adoption is more beneficial in this case, isn't anymore 'true'...than 'untrue'.
We have adopted many times. I know that genetics plays a role; but I know that to assume they play a sole and dominate role, is ridiculous---UNLESS you're referring to some genetic illnesses.
We have BTDT in regards to state SW'ers who recalled the actions and behaviors of of bio parents. What a mistake that these children have had to listen and remember the unlawful and sick antics of biological people! We even had one caseworker who remarked to us:
"Yes......he (our son) acts just like his biodad."
(And they weren't pleasant behaviors she was referring to.)
How
unfair that our son---who was only seven at the time, had to be compared to THAT!!!
We have had semi-open and closed adoptions. In her own opinion, it has been far better for our now grown daughter to have grown up not knowing anything, than to possibly 'open a Pandora's box', as she says. I know that there are benefits to open adoption for some; but to assume it would help for a child's behaviors, I can't agree.
It IS a crap shoot...whether birthing or adopting. And, here's the other part. People forget just how many combinations of genes are possible!!!!! Just as bio couples are shocked to find that their child has some rare (but genetically transferred) disease that was found back in the family 75yrs ago.......so can be the case of adoptive couples.
As I said, if you're speaking of inherited diseases, this may make a big difference...and this knowledge is vital for everyone. (This is not the open-ness of adoption I'm referring to.)
But just because both bio parents were/are talented and educated; or incarcerated, or on the street, doesn't matter in the long run. I firmly believe that nurture has a lot more to do with forming a child than anything. Just ask those of us who have parented children with RAD.......
Sincerely,
Linny