Need help with Bio Sister

Hi shadow riderer, first congratulations on your reunion with your bf! Judging by your post is this fairly recent? With regards to your half sister, it sounds like her hesitation has more to do with the family dynamics she's experienced with her Mom and Dad. Perhaps she feels caught in the middle 'so to speak'. Maybe if she is trying to repair relations with her Dad, than maybe one with you could follow. Maybe she just needs time to process all of this as you said. I know well the sense of urgency in early reunion but for me gentleness and a great deal of patience has been a pathway of success. Having said that, if it was me I would leave the door wide open but let her enter. Hope this helps. The best to you!Rose

Shadow, another thought I had is how old is your sister? And what did you put in the subject line of the email...she may have deleted it thinking it was junk mail. Most of all, congratulations on the successful reunion with your bFather. Please don't give up on your sister but on the other hand you cannot take on this added pressure of making someone connect with you. Give it a little time....and send another email as if it were the first again.

Good thinking.. Mamabee :clap: I know for a fact that some of my emails did not get through to the bson.. Shadowrider.. You sound and write like a very caring and understanding person.. I bet what you think is best will be best.. Jackie

Thanks you guys. I'm sorry I haven't gotten back to this sooner. I've been reunited with my BF for about nine months. My sister is 37, so old enough to make decisions for herself. I do know she feels caught between her parents. The situation just gets very complicated. Her mother apparently flies into a rage at the meer mention of our dad. I'm sure the situation will play a huge role in the decision she makes about having contact with me. Her mother would probably not approve or wish her to have anything to do with me. It's just a very sad situation. You guys are right. I guess I'll just have to give her time and be patient. I'll waite a few more weeks and send another email. The thing that bugs me is that I am not sure if she is getting the emails. In the first email, I put Howdy from TX as the subject line. I don't know. Do you guys have any suggestions for the subject line? Also, is it alright to ask in the email for some sort of response to verify she is getting them? I haven't really told her anything about me. Should I do that in the first email? I would feel a lot better if I just knew she had received the email I've already sent. At least, I would have a better idea as to what to do. She shares an email address with her husband. I just wish there was some way to know for sure that she has read the emails and knows the door is open. My BF offered to call her and ask, but I don't think that's really a good idea. I want her to know any relationship she and I have is between us, especially considering the entire situation. Geez, why is this stuff always so complicated. Anyway, thanks again you guys. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated.

shadow riderer, I understand your frustration but I really think exercising patience will deliver the end result you're wishing for. It's true at this point you don't know for sure if she is receiving your emails. But I'm guessing she is, she's just not sure how to respond. Perhaps being estranged from her Dad for such a time, now that he has turned some attention toward you has her a little shaken, then the pressure from her Mom. About your bfather offering to intervene on your behalf, I would bet she will mention you to him again before too long, then perhaps he can reaffirm your interest. Just my thoughts, let us know what you decide and wishing great outcomes for all of your family!Rose

Thanks WR,. I have good news. Yesterday, something inside me kept telling me to rewrite that email and send it. I did, and this morning I had a reply from my sister. In short, she wants to get to know me too. Things are good and we are going to take our time. I know I'm not making sense, but this is a good thing. Thanks for all the help.

Shadowrider...that is good news! After reading the previous posts, i was going to suggest that you go ahead and reach out again..I am glad that you got that "feeling" and went for it. Family pressures can be overwhelming, even if one is old enough to be able to make up their own mind; sometimes people just cave in. I hope that the two of you will be able to grow together...and maybe her relationship with your shared dad can grow, too. What happy news for you both!!!

So awesome!!!!!!! this is great news!!! Guess they don't call it gut instinct for nothin' so thrilled for you and your sis, and your bdad! Keep us posted!Rose

Dear Shadow riderer, I had been keeping up with this thread before and I'm so happy that you followed your gut instinct and reached out again! I hope things go well for you and your sister - and for the 2 of you and your Dad.Her Mom's issues with all of this are just that - her Mom's. She needs to get real and know that it's one thing to be mad at an ex, it's another thing to interfere with two sisters... Good luck in all of this. Sounds like you have GREAT instincts...just keep listening to them! Keep us posted! Hugs, Tammi

My question- Ive reunited with my brother when my father was sick- I was never able to talk to my father but really from that day have been trying to form a relationship with my brother..it has had so many ups and downs. He is alot older now, family of his own...he lived nearby and moved when he got married..when he lived close we saw each other alot and since he has moved we rarely see each other unless my husband or I make the trip. He always says he'll call back if I call..he doesnt... I have tried to invite him over here and it never happens. Someones always sick or some excuse..He does visit his A family close by to where we live but never thinks to come over here when he's in the neighborhood..it really bothers me..I feel rejected all over again.. I have been feeling very angry lately and honestly feel like telling him to lose my number like he did twenty years ago. Just like "dad" it seems the only time he really wants to talk is when he has been drinking late at night. On one hand I dont want to lose having my only sibling and on the other hand, I would like him to just show that he really does care and go out of his way once in a blue moon. I am not asking for daily visits or phone calls, but do what you say your gonna..call when you say your going to and stop by when your in the neighborhood? Am I asking too much? Is it because he is a man..or is he going to treat me just like Dad did?? Do I end it now..or do I just be happy with what I can get and feel hurt all the time? Any suggestions appreciated, I have refused to go to his house for a while in hopes that he would want to make an effort..but it doesnt seem to happen..I dont know if it is his wife (who has been extremely jealous) or if this is just the way he is???? I wish I felt differently but I cant seem to shake the anger or hurt.