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Adoption.com is meant to be a support site for those touched by adoption. We recognize that not everyone has a positive experience with adoption and we are a support site for ALL who come here, regardless of your position or opinions.
While we appreciate the fact that not everyone celebrates adoption, or believes that adoption is positive for everyone, it must be said that we are a PRO adoption site.
In recent months, weve seen an influx of members who have a different view of adoption than we do. While we do think it is important that members get a fair and balanced view of adoption by hearing the personal stories of those with different experience, it has become apparent that some of those who have a negative adoption experience arenҒt doing that. They have infiltrated our site to do one thing, tell us we are all in denial, we are all damaged or we are all baby thieves.
I know this may cause some confusion for someI certainly donŒt want to drive members awayas that is not my intention Ŗ all I ask is that members own their statements share your stories, your feelings, your opinions, without making sweeping generalizations.
I have a few friends who do not believe adoption is a viable option ֖ they dont support adoption in any way, shape or form, but I remain friends with these people because they donҒt push their opinions on me. This isnt an adoption battleground.
Everyone can safely share their opinions without making offensive and sweeping generalizations. If youҒre of the opinion that everyone here is wrong, that we all have our heads in the sand and that youre here to ґshow us the light then I will be honest with you and tell you that this is not the place for you. Those members who continually bash other members for being pro-adoption WILL be banned.
This applies to Private Messages as well.
Please, continue to stay on board and share YOUR story from YOUR prospective Җ but the sweeping generalizations and attacks against adoption must stop. Adoption.com is a PRO Adoption website. There are anti-adoption sites out there that might be a better fit for those kinds of opinions.
We arent looking to be ґshown the way Җ Thanks anyway.
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The definition of opinion - a belief or idea held with confidence but not substantiated by direct proof or knowledge. Therefore, an opinion cannot be right or wrong.
I came here for understanding, kindness, and support - most of the time that's what I have received, but that's what I put out. If someone else's opinion helped me in some way change my prior views, so be it, but I did not come here to be educated on the "right and wrong way" to do or say things. Strong beliefs are one thing - and I respect that, but going out of one's way to cause or draw out conflict with negativity, nastiness, or just being plain hateful isn't going to do anything but turn people off. If some people can only see black and white/right and wrong, they should start their own site with a disclaimer. There IS a difference between an intelligent discussion and bullying for the sake of being "right."
Ban me if you will.
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We are all going to have opinions and disagree. It's not really about that. It's about the fact that people come on here with agendas against adoption because they believe adoption is wrong. It's fine if they believe that it's wrong, but if so, then we are saying that this isn't an anti site, that we are pro-adoption and don't need to hear that we are baby stealers, in denial etc.
We know that a lot of people need support though to deal with regrets, adoption reform etc. These things are fine. But to come on here solely for the purpose of telling all of us on here how whacked we are to support adoption...that's what we want to avoid and will ban as needed.
Edited to add - It's not directed at people who have their own hurt to share and to educate people about that hurt. We need to hear all sides!
It's directed solely at people who don't care about any actual discussion or dialogue etc. but simply want to say "adoption sucks for everyone and that's that!"
My interpretation is that this site is to foster dialog, which, loosely translated, means "to get wisdom across."What we occasionally resort to is discussion. The "cuss" in discussion is also contained in the words "percussion" and "concussion," and has to do with shaking or hitting. Much more violent than dialog.My experience on this board is made better by the former. The latter has its appeal too, much the same way driving by a train wreck does (said with sarcasm).
Hmm.dialogue or dialog [url="https://secure.reference.com/premium/login.html?rd=2&u=http%3A%2F%2Fdictionary.reference.com%2Fsearch%3Fq%3Ddialogue"]
[/url] ([font=verdana,sans-serif] P [/font]) [url="http://dictionary.reference.com/help/ahd4/pronkey.html"]Pronunciation Key[/url] (d
-lg
, -l
g) n. [list=1][*]A conversation between two or more people.[*][list=1][*] Conversation between characters in a drama or narrative.[*] The lines or passages in a script that are intended to be spoken.[/list][*] A literary work written in the form of a conversation: the dialogues of Plato.[*]Music. A composition or passage for two or more parts, suggestive of conversational interplay.[*] An exchange of ideas or opinions: achieving constructive dialogue with all political elements.[/list]discus䷷sion [url="https://secure.reference.com/premium/login.html?rd=2&u=http%3A%2F%2Fdictionary.reference.com%2Fsearch%3Fq%3Ddiscussion"][/url] ([font=verdana,sans-serif] P [/font]) [url="http://dictionary.reference.com/help/ahd4/pronkey.html"]Pronunciation Key[/url] (d
-sk
shn) n. [list=1][*]Consideration of a subject by a group; an earnest conversation.[*] A formal discourse on a topic; an exposition.[/list]So, re: BestLight's post, I find this place to be more of a discussion site than a dialogue site. "Consideration of a subject by a group" seems to fit this place well. Though, we do have conversations as well. However, we are here, as a whole, to discuss a subject... as a group.So, hmm.
[/url] ([font=verdana,sans-serif] P [/font]) [url="http://dictionary.reference.com/help/ahd4/pronkey.html"]Pronunciation Key[/url] (d-lg, -lg) n. [list=1][*]A conversation between two or more people.[*][list=1][*] Conversation between characters in a drama or narrative.[*] The lines or passages in a script that are intended to be spoken.[/list][*] A literary work written in the form of a conversation: the dialogues of Plato.[*]Music. A composition or passage for two or more parts, suggestive of conversational interplay.[*] An exchange of ideas or opinions: achieving constructive dialogue with all political elements.[/list]discus䷷sion [url="https://secure.reference.com/premium/login.html?rd=2&u=http%3A%2F%2Fdictionary.reference.com%2Fsearch%3Fq%3Ddiscussion"][/url] ([font=verdana,sans-serif] P [/font]) [url="http://dictionary.reference.com/help/ahd4/pronkey.html"]Pronunciation Key[/url] (d-skshn) n. [list=1][*]Consideration of a subject by a group; an earnest conversation.[*] A formal discourse on a topic; an exposition.[/list]So, re: BestLight's post, I find this place to be more of a discussion site than a dialogue site. "Consideration of a subject by a group" seems to fit this place well. Though, we do have conversations as well. However, we are here, as a whole, to discuss a subject... as a group.So, hmm.
Perhaps I didn't choose my wording very well. I didn't mean to say that there is no room for disagreement here. I'm just saying that it is a shame that some people have to push their opinions on others in a negative way instead of participating in a healthy, adult, conversation. I come here for support as well as understanding and education. Not everyone does, as Brandy pointed out initially. Sorry if I caused a misunderstanding.
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Personally.. I don't let other peoples OPINIONS stand in my way. I am happy to be part of Adoption.com. I am greatful for the ones that come here for advice, for support. I wish the best for those of you who are in the process or have adopted and/or fostered. Those who are in reunion and those still looking for loved ones. IN MY OPINON: This site has been a "lifesaver". It has helped me. I love coming here and feeling the love, support and being able to talk with others who are in the same situation. I am thankful that there is the option of adoption/foster.And I chose adoption for my children. It is an option that I do not regret! And especially now.. that I have found/reunited with my children. I have their point of view on the adoption. And even though they want to know why.. they do not resent or hate me for my decision to place them up for adoption. For they have lived much better lives because of it.
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