Trying to find out where to start first

Congratulations on your husband wanting to adopt your son. To answer your question, you do not have to hire a lawyer. It would be like hiring a credit repair agency to fix your credit. It will take a little more footwork, but it is possible. Be sure to save the email that you received from the BF, you can easily use that as proof in court that the BF consents. How long have you have been married?What county do you live in? In california, you have to be married for one year, some people say two, but my adoption worker agreed with one year. Depending on the county depends on where you should go to get started. I went through the department of children and family services in los angeles. Here is the link. Contact Raul Ortega for more info on getting started.[font=Arial][url="http://dcfs.co.la.ca.us/adoptions/stepparent.html"]http://dcfs.co.la.ca.us/adoptions/stepparent.html[/url][/font][font=Tms Rmn]The cost of the step parent adoption is $700.00. Please don't let this deter you. You will be surprised at what you can cut back on to come up with the $700.00. Plus you don't need the money up front. We provided our payment when we had out first interview with the adoption worker, which was two months after we filed the petiion for adoption. Don't depend on BF to help with the adoption. The easier you make it, the less he would want to change his mind. Keep in mind that once he relinquishes, BF, norhis family has no other ties to the child at all, unless you want them to see your son. Each case is different. The forms can be found at this link, or when you call DCFS they will provide a package for you.[url="http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/cgi-bin/forms.cgi"]http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/cgi-bin/forms.cgi[/url]The cost to file the petition is $20.00, plus there is not street parking at the court in my county, so that was an additional four dollars.The fingerprints that your husband will have to get will be another $20.00. Since you are able to locate the BF, you will not have to search for his whereabouts. Your step-parent adoption would be much easier, since the BF is consenting, just make sure you start the process right away before he changes his mind. As a matter of fact, you should agree with what he is requesting on your terms. Let him know that the first step in relinquishing parental rights, is to sign an affidavit that this is what he wants to do. This is where I think you should start, since your process would be easier. There are a few people on this site who have already gone through the complete process, and have a wealth of knowledge. They are Kallen 330, AJB's mom and crstaly.Hope this helps. Once I know what county you are in, we can go from there. [/font]

My husband and I have been married for 5 years. He has been in my son's life and has been his father since he was 2; he's now 8. The BF hasn't seen him since he was 6 weeks but he has been paying court ordered child support. So basically the only main big fee to be concerned over is the $700...the rest are small fees. We are in LA county as well but the BF lives in Kansas. Don't know if that's a concern either. According to the BF he spoke to an attorney about signing off his rights and was told that we had to have an attorney draw up a consent form for him to sign saying my husband was going to adopt him and that he was giving up his rights.

This is really easy since you have consent. First you will file the adoption request forms then the case worker will get in touch with you on how to proceed. The case worker will send him a consent form and he signs it in front of a notery and sends it back to you. Then you will do an initial interview and then a home visit. Since this is a consenting adopting I'm not sure if a home visit is necessary. My husband did not have to have a home visit to adopt my daughter because her bio father was dead and she was free to be adopted. The the case worker rights up a report letting the judge know that the child is free for adoption and that she/he recommends the adoption. Then you take that report to the court and set a court date. In court you, your husband and your child must appear and the judge signed the order. It's pretty simple and the case worker will help you through all of it. If you want to there is a book called "How to adopt Your Stepchild in California" by Frank Zagoni. That is what I used to be sure i used the proper forms. We never got an attorney or anything. It is a very simple process and you do not need to waiste your money on attorney fees. Just remember, once the child is adopted by your husband there is no turning back. He becomes the legal father of the child even if you end up hating him to death. So make sure you really want him in your childs life forever. As far as the money part goes too bad you don't live in Sacramento County. Here the entire adoption is only $20.00. there are no other fees.

So since there is consent we may not need a home visit??? Is the home visit the $700 or is it the writing up of the report? Either way it's still less than I was expecting so I'm thrilled...I'm anxious to get this going. I've always had this fear that if something happened to me that my son would be taken from my husband. Because in both of their hearts he is his father. So...that's my biggest reason in getting this taken care of. So I don't have to worry anymore...Thanks for your help..I really appreciate it. I'm going to the library to see if I can find the book....

Thanks for your response crystaly! I knew you would be able to help. I found the book at Barnes and Nobles. It's very helpful. The attorney wants to draw up the forms for the BF because he wants the money. Instead of the BF paying the attorney to draw up the consent form, the adoption worker can send him the form and maybe BF can help you with the $700.00 if you decide to have him help. Good luck on your journey. Our adoption process began February 14th of this year. I can tell that with us having to publish the adoption in the newspaper for four consecutive weeks, it will take a little longer. We also have to request records from all branches of the military to make sure BF has not enlisted. I was told that the adoption would take one year for my type of adoption, however I am hopeful that it won't take that long. Again, your process will be much smoother.

I do not have time to read everything so i am just going to tell you what I know. NO mater what you have to do a home visit. THere is a waiver for the adoption fee if you can not afford it. THe 700 dollars. My county also does payment plans, however the adoption will not be finalized until it is payed off. the money is for the investigaitin, fingerprinting and all that stuff so yes you would still have to pay it. Remember also that the consent must be signed before certain people to make it stick in court. I am not sure if an attorney is one of those people biut a court clerk or a social worker is . That is why it is important to go to your local office thta handles the adoptions in order to get the steps. Usually they will walk you through them. Or give you a piece of paper that does so, HOpe all goes well and an attorney in your case is not really needed considering he is willing to sign over his rights. Now if he changes his mind you can still file for abandonement and go another route. Lets just see how it goes. He is still responsible for the back child support also if you want it. l

AJB's MOM is probably right. My county (Sacramento) is kinda weird compared to the rest of the state. In my case we did not have to do a home visit because my daughter was already free for adoption. Maybe the worker was just giving us a break...I don't know. But since there was no one to contest it, all we did was go to the Parole office and sign some forms and bring all of my proof with me, wait for her recommendation in the mail then go get a court date. We weren't even asked any questions by the judge. The judge didn't even talk to my daughter, and I thought it was required for the judge to talk to her. It was all quite painless and easy. Anyways, I'll answer any questions you have because I've done alot of studying on how to go about these adoptions. Just do not think that your situation or anyones for that matter would be anything like mine. My county is very strange. Good luck Myfaith7 and Lovemyson. Both of you shouldn't have any problems with your adoptions at all.