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Is there a way to get rid of postpartum depresion w/out medical help. I was on mediciad for the pregnancy but it ran out because they only cover 6 weeks postpartum and it is now working on 10 wks since baby was born.
I am going crazy. I have anxiety attacks at least once a day and I don't know why. I almost got into a car accident today. I was just driving along and my chest started hurting a couldn't breath and my vision got fuzzy I pulled over as soon as I could and just layed agianst the window holding my chest and taking shallow breathes. I can't sleep at night. I was awake for 2 days and when I finally fell asleep I only slept for 3 hours. I don't like the taste of food anymore even my favorite stuff just tastes gross. I have been yelling at my daughter to much because I'm so freakin irritable. And I'm fighting with the guy that I live with. During one of our arguments I actually wanted to kill him and I'm not kidding. What the HELL is wrong with me.
I'm finding myself staring at the baby pictures the parents sent me and I don't understand why. I wanted to give them this baby from the very begining because I wanted my son to have a sibling (that lived w/ him) and that was pretty much the only way I was going to be able to see him in person. So why the hell am I questioning that now. I was so happy for them at the hospital and even the first few weeks.
I thought if I drink before bed that would help put me to sleep well it doesn't and I really need some sleep. **** it why isn't health care free. I have this deep sick feeling that something bad is going to happen and I can't shake it off. I actually heard a baby cry yesterday my daughter was outside playing at the nieghbors and the tv, radio were turned off I walked around the house and nobody was here but I swear I heard a baby cry. Is that looney?
I feel like the world is closing in on me and I don't know what to do.
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Dear Dore, Look up MHMR in the phone book and call them. Try your medicaid case worker-I was once a case worker- they have lists of orginazations that help people in the community. Try seeking assistance from your church if you have one. Do you have any family that you can lean on? If things get too bad call 911. I don't know if you have postpartum depression or if your symptoms are related to the adoption but you have another child to think of so get help quick. I never got proper mental health care pre or post adoption. I was very depressed. (I also heard a baby crying at first & I don't think it is normal.) Finally I just learned to "stuff it." Now I am in therapy and on antidepressants 35 years after the fact. You don't want that! Your five year old need's you. Whatever the cause is you need to get help. PM me and let me know how you are. My prayer list is getting longer since I joined this joined this group- but that is good for me also.-Patty-cake
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Your hallucination may be due to lack of sleep. Alchol is a depressant. It will only make you feel worse. What I have done to help me sleep without medication when I am upset and also when I worked third shift is: Go to Barns & NobelLook in the self improvement tapesThere are tapes that "talk you to sleep". Also get a tape of rain sounds. Make a tape of your own so the rain follows the talk in case you aren't quite asleep after the other tape. There have been times that I had to run the tape twice- but it does help. A work-out program at least 45 minutes that really pushes you beyond your comfort zone really helps depression also.Walking or running is cheap.Exercise helps depression and insomnia- but don't do it at bedtime- morning is best but afternoon or after work is okay too. Good luck-Patty-cake
Dear Dore,
I am so sorry to hear of your suffering. I lived thru all of those crazy symptoms...not without help. It helped to learn all I could about the hormone and chemical changes in my body after pregnancy. It is easier to live with something if I understand what is happening to me. It is hard for me to sleep when I leave things unresolved. It helps me to get up and do some writing in a [private] journal. Sometimes it brings up anger or tears...some things I write don't make sense untill later. Years ago, I had some very dark thoughts following one pregnancy....It's the grace of God I did not act on my thoughts. When I see these women on the News going to jail for terrible crimes, I think that could have been me. I also know first hand, drinking and unperscribed drugs only added to my depression in the end.
Free or low cost help is available in most communities. If you are to depressed, tired and confused to figure it out for yourself, open up to some older wiser responsible woman. I would say " I can't think straight right now...Would you please help me figure out how to get help?"
If things get worse and you feel like hurting yourself or someone else dial 911...I will be watching for your future posts. Margaret
If youre in trouble, and you need help, please call one of the numbers below to talk to a trained professional who can help you through your time of need.
Helpful Crisis Hotline Phone numbers:
ҷSuicide Hotlines - 1-800-784-2433 (1-800-Suicide)
Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-827-7571
BoysTown National Hotline 1-800-448-3000
ַCovenant House Nineline 1-800-999-9999
ַNational Runaway Switchboard 1-800-621-400
ַNational Child Abuse Hotline 1-800-792-5200
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I am religious and I have been praying harder but I feel like g-d doesn't exsist. Sometimes when I can't take it I run around the track untel I throw up and I also exercise at the gym one hour a day but none of this helps.
I am sending my daughter to stay with a friend untel the end of July. As far as she knows it is just for a fun vacation. I don't want her to be around me right now because I'm not myself and I'm scared of that. I have filed for mediciad to pay for therapy but it will take 5 weeks to get an apiontment and I'm not sure if I can wiat that long.
I tried talking to my mom but she told me that I complian to much and that people live through worse things. I got so upset at that, that I said if it was my sister (her real daughter) she would help pay for counseling. She told me that it would be different because my sister is more sensitive then me. Why can't I be sensitive about this is that wrong? I feel guilty for being weak because I know I should be stronger for my daughter. As much as I'm trying to stay together I'm falling apart harder.
How dare your mom talk to you that way! I am 54 years old. Like many people my age I have survived a bad marriage, divorce, burring both parents and good friends, financial difficulties etc.-In other words-"life". The only experience that compares with the pain surrounding my daughter's adoption was waiting for tests results to find out if my son had Leukemia (Thank God he did not). I think you were wise to send your daughter fo a little 'Vacation" at this time. I'm glad you are going to get some professional help but sorry you are having to wait. You might call the doctor/therapist back and ask him/her to let you know if he/she has a cancelation. I did that and got in the next week. Mean while your friends here care and are available. If you are feeling suicidal or homicidal let the doctor/therapist know as that constitutes a mental health emergency.- Huggs Patty-cake
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