Is He too Old ?

You should definetly talk to a counsler before making up your mind. I come from a family of bipolar and have seen different levels of this dissorder. I personally do not have it, but do suffer from anxiety and mild depression. I have been medicated for 6 years now and feel as normal as normal can be. I have two biological daughters and my husband and I are looking to adopt. We are currently looking to adopt through DCF because of the costs of an agencey is just not something we can afford at this time. And because if having my life touched with this disorder I feel that I could provide a good home for an already deserving child a home that may or may not have mental stability. Of course we would love to have a baby but I feel strongly about adopting a toddler. So I can't really say that it's a bad thing for you to consider that option or people like myself would not have the oportunity to adopt, but with an angency you would have more say about what type of home your child would be placed in. I hope that things work out for you and you make the right decision for you and your little boy. I do commend you on being a strong person to admit that things are hard and that you are concerned about your son's welfare, alot of people would not consider their options as well as you have. Good Luck!:grouphug:

I am so sorry you feel this way. You should definitely seek couseling and a medical evaluation. Your disorder may be sucessfully treated with the right medications and you can be back on track. I think you'd be very sorry you gave up custody of your 2 year old if 6 months down the road from now, you felt great and were successfully treated. I would recommending seeking treatment right away. Is there someone in your family that could look after your son for a weeks or months while you try to get back on track-your mother, a sister, a friend? If you feel you absolutely certain you cannot raise your son and have carefully considered all the repercussions of placing him for adoption at this age, I would recommend an agency or private adoption. I would try to avoid the state system. With an agency or private adoption, you would have more of a say in the type of family that would adopt him. It may also be less traumatic on him to go from your home straight to his new home. I urge you not to give up custody until you are 1000 percent sure you are unable to raise him. Please think it over and know that even with depression and bi polar disorder, medications can make a workd of difference! Good luck! Joanne

Hi there,My sister is bipolar and has chosen not to have children as a result. But being bipolar does not mean you should not have children.Jordy, your son, is very loved by you. At the age of 2, you say he is very energetic. I can tell you from experience w/my nephews, that 2 is a tough age for raising any child, and even tougher w/boys... who want to explore, touch everything, know how everything works.You must be cycling right now to be feeling such despair. Can you get counseling? Who diagnosed you? Can you talk to the person who dx'd you?If you can't -- talking to your primary care physician or pediatrician about private or agency adoptions (they can refer you to an agency or attorney) might be a good step.Don't rush to place Jordy... please do not place him w/the state. I mentor kids in foster care and at-risk. It is a very chaotic life he will lead should he be placed. YOu cannot guarantee where he will be placed.Outside of the foster care system, you will have control over placement. You can choose the family, and how open you want the adoption to be. Most agencies offer free counseling, assistance and legal assistance to women who wish to place their children for adoption. You do not need to be an expectant mom, or be placing an infant, to seek help from an agency.I would visit a few of the agencies in your area (they can also come to your house if you don't have transportation) and see who you feel most comfortable with.Good luck with whatever you decide to do. I am praying for you and your son, and I am praying your pain goes away. You know with bipolar, meds can manage things really well. YOu just have to find the right combo. If you don't like the way you feel on the meds you are on now, tell your doc.Sending you huge hugs of support,

I would really think about your options. If you need to talk to someone you can email me at praying4ourangel@hotmail.com

I agree with Brandy...I would NOT place him with the state. If you do that, you will have NO say in what happens with him or where he goes! This happened with a baby we were going to adopt. His birthparents and us were working on getting attorneys, etc. set up. She had had the baby and decided that after a few weeks, she wasn't ready to be a mom (her words, not mine). Anyway, one night the baby had a bad night and she freaked out and called social services. After that, it was out of all our hands. The state put him in foster care and his birthmom regrets that she then had NO say in what family he went to. Really look into your options. If adoption is what you decide, there are a lot of couples looking for older children. Make sure you pick the right one for you son! Good luck to you!

I do not work with or for an attorney, but I would contact one or take him to an adoption agency and see if they will help you.

talk to a counseller before you do anything, lots of options out there , dont do anything you may regret later, mags

Just wondering how things are going. I read your post, and often wonder how you are doing. :wings:

The others are right, you don't have to place with the state, in fact DON'T! You will have ALL the say if you do decide to place by using an agency or atorney. FIRST & the MOST IMPORTANT thing, is to get some counseling. We adopted a little girl at birth who has recently been diagnosed with Early Onset Bi-Polar & PDD. She is now 4 years old. We knew NOTHING about this disorder when we adopted her. She is now "stable" & doing AMAZING!!! She has so much "sparkle" in her eyes now that we have never seen before! We have an Open Adoption & I am able to get the information we need to help make our daughter better. I can't say I understand your feelings & thoughts but knowing my daughter's illness, I can only imagine yours. Talk around. Call some counselors, attorneys, agencies. IF IF IF adoption is the plan you make for your son, you are in control! You call all the shots! YOU decide what is best for him, WHO is best for him. You make sure what you want for him is what you GET!! Know what I mean??? I wish you all the luck in the world! Take Care of Yourself!! Deb

i think you can do both.... we are going thru an aganecy to adopt and we would be interested in ur situation, if you would like us to we could have our agency send you our approved homestudy for adoption. If you wanna know more about us, our family and lifestyle look us up at [url=http://www.myspace.com/ilovemykwg]www.myspace.com/ilovemykwg[/url]

My dear I am with most all here leave the state out of this but, remember if your set on adoption find the family who will allow as much contact as possible. Also keep in mind that all moms need a break find a family member to send your child to for a week, take time to think this thru maybe when your child returns you will discover that adoption isn't what you want, all moms need a break and no being a mom isn't easy but your sickness you can control in some points Hey you've made it this far!! Keep your chin up and think it thru, as with an agency you would probly have better luck posting on adoption situations ... Good luck:coffee:

My heart goes out to you. I too suffer from depression and have three children. Even when I am having a "good" day it can be a struggle. That is just what parenting is at times. If you want to you can parent with bi-polar, you just have to take the steps to take the best care of yourself as you can so you can be the best mommy to him that you can be. If you feel you are a danger to him then you need to get him someplace safe immediately. If you think that you can just sign him over and start fresh that is not the case. Things will never be the way they were before him. I suggest you get medical help for yourself so you can be balanced, then seek counseling to see what is really the best course of action for both of your well-being. As others have said please do not go through the state. And be sure to really research and check-out any agencies you consider working with. There are some scary ones out there. I will be praying for you both and I truly hope you keep us updated.

Man........ this has to be hard...Im giving two older children up for adoptio for simular reasons....there is adoption assistance - Usually you talk to an adoption Lawyer first I think...Have you looked it up on line?

As a foster mom for the county, I just want to toss in a couple of other issues.First, if you have not abused or neglected your child, the state can't take the kid away. So you would have the same rights to a voluntary relinquishment that you'd have with a private agency. One thing you might ask a social worker at DSS about is whether or not you might be able to help select a family. I promise, there are lots of us nice people foster parenting!The good thing about relinquishing through the state is that you can guarantee that your kids will have the services they need. This is pretty important if you're bipolar, because your children are at risk of being bipolar as well. In our state, kids adopted through the foster care system have guaranteed health insurance until they are 18, and a really good support network for parents that can help identify problems early. My son has a bipolar birthmom and four bipolar grandparents, and boy, have I been grateful for all the early screening and intervention we've received.So, depending on what state you're in, relinquishing to the state may not be an entirely bad plan.

No you do not have to place him with an agency, even looking on this site in the adoptive parent postings I almost bet you could find a family for him there,there is also a place that you can post @ adoptionsituations.com where you can post him there and be emailed by potiential families until you find the one that suits you. I check it every day,as my husband and I are looking for an adoption situation.If you want to talk or have any questions you can pm me