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Just heard from our attorney that our adoption will become final by August 19. Yahoo.Our daughter is the greatest gift...We have followed all open adoption agreements and have let the Bfamily know that our door is open but they have not made any intiative. However the Bgrandparents of both ** and BF have sent letters and gifts.I want my daughter to know everything about her history and want her to be able to meet the ** and BF family.Is it crazy to have a small exclusive get together with their family and our family so we all have a chance to meet the people in our daughter life ? Am I living a fair tale dream ?
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Just to let you know, The letters B and M, when used together as an abbreviation for birthmom, are automatically replaced with two asterisks as many find the use of this abbreviation offensive. Here's a list of commonly used abbreviations and acronyms that you will find on [url="http://forums.adoption.com/acronyms.php"]these forums[/url]. They should help since you are new! // I'm not sure why it would be crazy or a fairy tale. Since you didn't give much detail, I'm assuming this is an open adoption resulting from a domestically adopted infant. Simply ask them if they would like to attend. I haven't been able to attend every one of my daughter's parties due to the distance between us but I am always honored when I am included.
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I think it is an absolutely great idea to get together with the birthfamily-birthparents, birthgrandparents, birthaunts-whoever you want. However, I would be a little hesitant about having an adoption party to celebrate finalization...I just realized that I am not sure at all that you were intending the get together to be a finalization celebration. Anyways, I think just getting together for a bit to get to know each other (or meet for the first time) is a fantastic idea. I know that my birthdaughter really enjoys getting to know her birthfamily (even her barbies have "birthgramma"s) and my family really likes getting to know her and her family.
So do you think if all sets of grandparents met birth and our parents met along with extend family. I hear what you are saying about not making it a celebration of final adoption completion party.I was reading other posts and I was hoping this could be an open invitaton for bparents to meet for the first time since they may not feel comfortable asking.
Unless disatance prohibits it, I think I would suggest two visits... the first being with just the bio parents, since they have not seen you or the baby since birth (I'm guessing from your post) and the second visit with everyone. I think it could be pretty intense if their first time seeing you all is also the first time they meet your extended families.
Just a thought.
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I agree that two visits would be a really nice idea. The first few times I saw my birthdaughter after she was placed were really intense for me. It was really emotional. I didn't meet her grandparents until she was about 8 years old. It wasn't intentional, we just hadn't gotten around to it. I am really glad that I have met them and we are all pretty comfortable with each other now. I do know that I would have been ready to meet them MUCH earlier than I did-probably anytime after the 2nd or 3rd visit. Maybe even as part of the first visit. I am really happy that most of my family knows most of their family.
We have open adoptions with our 3 children. We have the extended birth families over often for special occasions, not just the BMom's. We have no contact with any BDads. :( We celebrate birthdays with ALL our family, my side, Dh's side & BMom & her family. We told our children's BMom & Family that we weren't just adopting their child, we were adding thier WHOLE family to ours!
GOOD LUCK!! I hope your celebration goes GREAT!!!
Deb
we had a nice get together after our babys baptim. Birthmom had asked us to be the godparents to her baby before the adoption (yes weird!) She felt like it was her way of blessing our adoption. We had a nice small get together with blended family and after the first fem minutes of awkward chatting it was great!!!
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